Thursday, May 29, 2008

Stop Watering Down My Damn Drink, Scumbags.

I love Kilkenny! It’s absolutely yummy! It’s the only stuff on tap which I will gladly consume without having to suppress the urge to gag. That and Hoegaarden on tap, which is very rare. The creaminess of the foam complementing the slight bitterness of the liquid brown ale is absolutely mmm-mm. It’s my comfort drink. Something I look forward to having in the evenings after work to wind down. Plonk my ass on the bar stool. Order a pint. Fidget until the pint finally comes. Taste the first sip of the creamy, slightly bitter ale. Feel the warmth spread slowly from the top of my scalp to my toes. Take another big gulp or two or three. Smile. Ahhhh. It’s like having a cup of hot dark chocolate with marshmallow in front of a fireplace on a snowy winter. But with the buzz. And a lighter wallet.

But it’s WORTH IT.

Until I find out that some places actually have the NERVE to fucking water it down which totally HULKRAGES me.

WATER IT DOWN. WTF. Motherfuckers. Do you know how awful Kilkenny tastes watered down? It tastes like water that came out of a 100 year old rusty pipe which leaves a nasty aftertaste reminding me of blood.

So go screw yourselves, all you lying, cheating assholes for charging me about RM30 bucks on a pint of desecrated shit you pour into a Kilkenny glass and try to pass off as a Kilkenny.

A curse on you! May your bartenders leave you. May your orders of booze always be delayed and you’re forced to explain why a bar doesn’t have booze to very unhappy and thirsty patrons. May your patrons be unruly drunks who loves a brawl and breaks all your furniture. May your servers never be honest and still all your money from the cashier. May a freaking asteroid fall right on top of your shop. May a trailer carrying logs ram into your damn shop in the middle of the night. May your kitchen get so infested with rodents and roaches that the authorities force you to close down.

I know some establishments that does this.

The Apartment.
Laundry. (but their happy hour Kilkenny is RM20 NETT so I’ll still go sigh.)
Work In Progress.

LOWLIFE SCUM DARE TO CHARGE ME FULL FUCKING PRICE FOR WATERED DOWN DRINKS!

I know there are more and I swear upon my hamster’s grave that every time I find another place which fucking WATERS DOWN MY Kilkenny I will put a hex on it and update this post with its name for all to see.

I bet you know some places which water down your tapped booze. Do us all a favour by listing them down here and put a hex on them too, kthx.

Meanwhile, I heard there’s a place that offers Kilkenny for RM17 nett. Going to check it out tonight, and it bloody hell better NOT be watered down or I’ll TURN GREEN AND HULKSMASH THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS.

See ya!

Updated:

- GRRRRR. There's no fucking Kilkenny at Sid's Place, what more Kilkenny at RM17. The idiot who thought there was must've been drunk out of his bloody mind. I hate you. You really suck. No not you, your friend. Grrr. Hulksmash his car.

- Please list places (in Malaysia) which don't water down their grog too. We need to know! I think Finnegan's doesn't, though it's fucking expensive.

-HOLY FUCK. GAB is responsible for bringing KILKENNY IN. OMG. PLEASE. INVITE ME TO COME DRINK AT YOUR BREWERY PARTIES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

20 comments:

  1. jom henessy party saturday!

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  2. way back during my first project, our client was Guiness Anchor Berhad. So every friday would be happy nour for their staff..and they brought us along :p
    The Beer is not "watered down" and certainly fresh from the ass so to speak.
    Try to see any opening there :p and you can have all the beer you want for free and every friday

    :p

    cheers

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  3. wasn't the Kilkenny at the Borneo place where the nuffnang party was also watered down? i can't remember now. haha.

    RM17 Kilkenny! WHEE!

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  4. [...] Fireangel doesn’t like her drinks watered down. Neither do I. [...]

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  5. Nice to know that there's someone else out there who loves Irish beer as much as I do. I' be mighty pissed to even see watered down Guinness. Anyway, if it's straight from the tap, how'd they manage to get the water in there?

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  6. I'll wager you a watered-down kilkenny that the RM17 kilkenny is watered down.

    we should be listing down places that DON'T water down their grog. Since most places do. Unless you open your own bottle. Or a whole case of bottled kilkennies. LOL

    FA: Actually you're right. Finnegen's doesn't water down their grog.

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  7. Hey, better water than formaldehyde, which some breweries in the tropics used to use as a preservative. Talk about hangovers!

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  8. Befriend an employee from GAB and get invited to their Friday night happy hour. Smooth, creamy Kilkenny right off the brewer's tap and best of all...FOC and all you can drink!

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  9. I don't think Aloha will water down our Hennessy this Saturday gua.

    I always buy my Hoegaarden from Jusco, cheaper. Only cost RM 11.60 a bottle.

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  10. oohhh Hoegaarden on tap with a slice of orange... try it it's HEAVEN ON EARTH after a hot hard day.

    If anyone is in, going to Melbourne please try Cookie Bar on Swanston St... they serve the best selection of microbrew

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  11. No Kilkenny last night. Is sad.

    But still enjoys. Hoegaarden and Stella on tap! Woot!

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  12. Online Pub, Damansara Kim..Guiness on tap, no water and damn fresh..

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  13. they should invite u to the GAB's Tavern. Drink all u can, from the tap. Yes, the tap.

    FA: I've heard nothing but wondrous things about GAB's taps. I'm hoping somebody from there would invite me for their Friday drinking sessions. Sigh. GAB! CAN YOU HEAR ME! LET ME IN!!! Still waiting... waiting...

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  14. Enjoyed reading this post and the one b4 this. "hulkrages". haha

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  15. if u think kilkenny's at laundry is bad, wait til u try it at their new place at sunway pyramid called republic.

    to say it tastes like rust water is an understatement. heck, even the colour's off!

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  16. Why do people perceive that beer from the tap is "better"? You're not sure how long it's been there, and they never, I repeat, *never* clean the pipe that leads to the tap even after 3 years. Like how the mythical char kway teow tastes better with road dust and sweat from the guy in the singlet that cooks it..?

    Gimme super-chilled, bottled Whoregardens and Paulaners any time.

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  17. Kilkenny and guiness draft are served in Backyard in Sri Hartamas and sold at about two-third of the price in Finnegen, genuine stuff.

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  18. You guys should try out Paulaner, there is alot of pubs selling it at jln Jalan Changkat same street with havana, great german beer

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  19. there is this german beer dat i had.
    weizen something. cant remember how it is spelt.
    excellent taste. nice foam. nice after taste. the taste of the malt is EXCELLENT!

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