Friday, September 29, 2006

A Play and A Pill

Caught a play called fiftynineminutes by TheOralStage. The same folks who brought us Rojak.

Fiftynineminutes is basically a collection of 7 original plays (written and directed by group members) lasting a total of surprise surprise, 59 minutes. I checked my watch and it actually went on for a little over and hour actually. But because I'm so nice, I won't ask for my money back.

The plays were: Best Foot Forward, Mother Tongue, Fruitcake, Showers of Flowers, Track, The World’s Smelliest Durian, and The Ground Floor.


My favourite play of the night was The World's Smelliest Durian. Johann Lim was freaking awesome. It was in your face. It mocked. It was clean. Evrybody could relate to it. And it made everybody laugh. It was great. I wish there was more of these. They really needn't try too hard with drama. Comedy, humour, and poking fun of current issues and our culture works very well. I loved this!


Wai Yee put up a commendable performance in Mother Tongue, where she effortlessly switched between 3 accents. The plot of the play itself was a bit vague, and the ending a little confusing. But it was quite enjoyable to watch her do her thing. She did it well. And she was hot too. Freaking jailbaits.

Some of the plays were disturbing. Everytime someone screamed I felt really uncomfortable. Some overacted. Some were too stiff. But overall, it was a great effort! They really put in a lot of heart and time in this, and made some of us nostalgic. KY couldn't stop bragging about his time as a student 10 years ago, where he too participated in such plays himself, never mind that he's told us the same story for like about 4927 times already.

Five of them were abstract, interpretative pieces. Personally I have never been a fan of artsy interpretative pieces. It's like I hate Picasso's abstract paintings where he would modify a person's face a call it art, and then urge the audience the interpret what was going on his mind where he shifted the eye to the mouth or the ear to the nose. I would throw that trash out and put him back to kindergarten. Or how about when the camera focuses on a floating plastic bag in the middle of the street in a movie. For five minutes. That's complete bullcrap aimed to pad up the movie. For SPM essays where we had to find the "makna tersirat" (cryptic message) of a certain passage, I always made up some bullshit about the writer's emotion and his wish to kill himself - which is always almost right. So yeah. Never a fan. But you might like it though.

Do you know how old they are? The average age of the group is 21-22, the youngest being 18. And the oldest (only 2 of them), 26. DAmn ridiculous. Makes me feel ancient. And ashamed. I should stop blogging.


The good news is that it's only RM10!!! Where can you get ANYTHING for RM10 ANYMORE!?!? And they even throw in a free programme too! What a freaking steal! If you are a student this is PERFECT for you, because....

"TOS was founded in 2004 with the simple goal of making theatre more accessible to youth. A growing nonprofit theatre company, TOS serves as a hub for young, aspiring thespians from all walks of life. "

More Details:
When? September 28th - October 1st 2006 @ 8.30 pm
Where? The Dram Projects, BG06 Happy Mansion Apartments, Jalan 17/13 46400 PJ
Contact: Louisa Low @ 0163757833



Let's get back to me. Last night DURING dinner I was drowned in a wave of exhaustion. I was eating, and putting things in my mouth and suddenly my brain went "Dude. Sleepy. Go sleep now." So I went to bed. At 8.30pm. Apperently the rest of the body did NOT get the message from the brain so it decided that it would play a game of tossing and turning on the bed instead of sleeping, while the brain was on shut down mode.

I got up and popped a pill. This pill was prescribed to me by my panel of doctors, because I've complained to them about how I always take a few hours to actually fall asleep, no matter how tired I am. This pill which was prescribed to me is called Stilnox, and it's supposed to make me sleep. Well, let me tell you something, Stilnox is Very Bad Shit. Very. Bad. Shit.

I swallowed that thing, and it took effect about what felt like after 30 minutes. I felt like I was drowsing off. Then there was a floating feeling. Then the room moving feeling. Then colours under my closed eyelids. A whirlwind of colours. It made me dizzy. Then complete blackness. Until the next morning.

It knocked me out completely. I wasn't sleeping. I passed out. When I woke up I didn't even felt like I slept a wink. I saw myself in the mirror and my eyebags were there, as prominent as ever, hello Panda.

The freaky thing was, I received a phonecall during my comatose period. My phone recorded that it was a 1 minute over call. I called this person back again and asked if I actually had a conversation with him. Yes, he said. But you sounded bad. I said, I have no recollection of our phonecall. AT ALL. NO sense of familiarity. Nothing. The weirder thing was my phone was pretty damn far away from the bed. I had to get up. Walk to the phone. Answer it. Walk back to bed. Go back to sleep. But. I. Had. No. Memory. Of. This. Happening. EvAr.

My conclusion is that, Stillnox is Very Bad Shit. Anything which makes me forget what happens the night before is Very Bad Shit. It does not in any way make you feel good at any point of time. It did NOT help me with sleep. Putting me into coma does NOT equate to putting me to sleep. If your doctors ever prescribe something like that to you, shove it up their arses and walk away. That is all.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A Camwhoring Competition? Jackpot!

So I was at Smashp0p's to get my usual weekly dose of male camwhoring pictures and what did I find?

A freaking camwhoring competition.

And what do the winners of that camwhoring competition win?

1st - A freaking Sony T30 camera
2nd - A freaking 4Gb Ipod

And how does one win it? First, the camwhorer has to send in a picture of him/herself. THen the camwhore will have to con people into voting for him/her. Then other people will have to log in to the website and vote like crazy for that camwhore. Then the camwhore sits back and waits. And hopes. And prays. And begs for people to vote some more.

There's even a prize for the top voter, a freaking Ipod Nano 2Gb.

If those aren't freaking delicious carrots to us barnyard of donkeys, I don't know what is.

I want the damned camera or Ipod. And I'm willing to camwhore for it. I've been willing to camwhore for a LOT less (or nothing) so yeah these prizes are a freaking BONUS!!!11one.

But the thing is, the Leo ego in me don't want to be participating in a competition where the Leo ego would get beaten down into a messy pulp with a big spiked stick of a troll. So, because the Leo Ego is a prude and doesn't want to take chances of being a bigger, desperate lamer that it already is (its owner keeps a blog? AND camwhores on it? hello?), the Leo Ego tied up its owner while threatening to forcefeed her with locally brewed beer to make her create a poll especially for all five of you and the other quadrillian robots out there as a gauge to see if its owner has even an atom of a chance to win anything.

If there's gonna be any shredding of my Leo ego, name-calling, or the threatening comments to eat my sister's hamsters, I rather it be here than in some obscure private forum with its members primarily consisting of 16 year old pimply pizza-faced boys who jerk off to just about everything that moves (breathing optional) and laugh at Jim Carrey's old fart jokes.

I appreciate the honesty.

For more information about that camwhoring competition, once again it's HERE.

So here's the poll. Knock yourselves out!

Shameless Camwhoring Plug

Would you spend 15 minutes a day to vote?

Yes. I am a disgruntled employee and I firmly believe in maximising internet usage at work.
Yes. Other than killing small forest creatures with a boomerang, I have nothing else better to do anyway.
Yes. It's more interesting than watching penguins march across the Antarctic
Yes. Because you are a pathetic, shameless, camwhore and I like pathetic, shameless camwhores.
No. I have better things to do, like jerking off to National Geographic.
No. I rather spend my time watching AND jerking off to penguins marching across the Antarctic
No. You are lame. Your existance disgust me. Your website is pitiful. I wish you'd die already. I only F5 your website every 5 minutes to see if you're finally DEAD, loser.
Yes. [Insert own explanation here].
No. [Insert own explanation here].

 Current Results

And while you're at it, maybe you could generously suggest how I should go about camwhoring. What positions. With what. Wearing what. Doing what. Anything goes. Except losing my clothes.

Thank you very much for your kinda co-operation. Your participation in this poll will greatly contribute to my self-gratification.

Update: Nope. Not doing it. Decided that I still have some atomic shreds of dignity left afterall.... and I got lazy.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Out Of My Mind. So Here's A Video.


View it at your own risk blah blah blah not responsible if you die yadda yadda I don't really give 2 fucks anyway etc etc etc....

And of course,

I. Just. Had.To. Camwhore.


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Roald Dahl Rocks My Socks.

Once, there were 2 little girls who decided to spend some time at a bookstore. They were sisters. One sister was little in height but not in age. The other sister was little in age, but not in height.

It was an enormous bookstore, filled with racks of books that went on forever, drowned in the never-ending sea of people made from all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colours.

As the sisters were glancing and browsing about at the mind-boggling number of books on display, they chanced upon a table. They had passed by a few other tables like this before. These tables were used to promote the many works of an author of the bookstore’s choice.

Amalkanlah Sifat Suka Membaca!

The particular table that the sisters chanced upon was covered in a pastel satin cloth (more to hide the messy piles of books stocked underneath the table than aesthetic purposes), and on top of it, a whole mountain of books. Thin. Thick. Hardcovers. Paperbacks. Boxed gift sets. Special editions. Every book cover was gaily illustrated in bright happy coloured pictures of simple, but oddly drawn images of people and animals which are no doubt the main characters of the book.

It was promoting the works of the sister’s (the one who was little in height) favourite childhood author. Memories of her childhood flooded her heart. The other sister looked at her funny because her sister had a funny look on her face.

Above the table hung numerous, round, Styrofoam cut outs which were plainly decorated with simple but oddly drawn images of people and balloons on it, just like on the book covers. Beside the table there was a large poster. It wrote that the bookstore was offering free button badges to people who bought a book from that author of that display table. Just one book, any book at all, but only from that author.

Happy Birthday RD!

It wasn’t just any free button badge. It was a commemoration button badge in celebration of that author. 13 September was the author’s day, it printed, in an all-too-familiar scrawl. The badge itself was plainly decorated with simple but oddly drawn images of people and balloons on it.

The sister who had the funny look on her face finally decided that she HAD to buy a book from that table! So what if 13 September had come and gone? So what if she was already 26? She didn’t care! He was her favourite writer! She grew up reading most of his books! It was a FREE BUTTON BADGE DAMNIT!

So she bought the book, redeemed the badge and she was happy!

Oh the joy which are derived from such simple things!

Mine. My only. My precious.

The end.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


Shit. I accidentally found out who the winner of Rockstar Supernova is.

It's only like EVERYFUCKINGWHERE on the bloody |nT3rN3T!!!1111one.



Please, boys of Wikipedia, let me introduce you to this whole new wonderful & exciting place beyond the front door of your house called OUTSIDE.

Damn you fuckers! Do something ELSE with you life OTHER THAN SITTING IN FRONT OF THE TV AND PC 24-7!!!!!


I hate the internet. No, no no. That's not right. I DO love it. But I hate it. I love hating it? NO, I hate loving it.

Ah who cares. I'm still gonna watch it tonight anyway since, you know, I'm this sad, pathetic excuse of a human being with no social life whatsoever, destined to die old and alone only to be found weeks later half eaten by her legion of hamsters.

And since I'm ranting,




*Turns green. Squishes japan with bare hands*

I think I will go home and play Warcraft again. Just to kill humans.


Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Hammie Fun Fact

I bought my sister a pair of hamsters for her birthday because I am the greatest sister of ALL time.

She loves them more than she loves me.


Anyway, as a community service to all you hammie noobs out there, here is a fun fact extracted from Wikipedia.

Most hamsters originate from Russia.

The desert is the hamsters' natural habitat.


Therefore, a sand bath can provide hamsters with entertainment.


Hamsters like their sand baths very,





They could be very tasty too.


Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Is This A Joke?

Because it's as funny as sticking a cactus up my nostril.

Look what I found HERE.

Best Malaysia Blog

The nominees for best Malasia Blog Q1 2006/2007 are as follows:

* BlackJetta
* Cheeserland
* Clueless Person’s Lair
* Desidarata
* Fireangelism < ---- WTF ?!?!?
* myAsylum
* MySabah
* Quaintly
* TV Smith’s Dua Sen

You will be required to rank all of the nominated sites so please review all of them before proceeding.

E-mail registration is required to participate. Your address will not be sold, given away or used for spamming. All collected addresses wil be destroyed within one month after the close of polling.

The poll will be launched shortly. Please take the time to review the nominated sites.

September 5th, 2006

So what do I get if I win this thing? Riches? Fame? Harem of virile sturdy boys? A spanking new Mini Cooperr? A holiday villa in Italy? A keg of whiskey? My URL tatooed on your asses?

Okay, seriously, who the hell nominated me for this? There are only five real readers here, don't think I didn't know that the rest of you are robots. Somebody do some owning up REAL quick I tell ya.

WHAT? You think you'll get away with this? That I'll NEVER find out? YOU WERE WRONG.

What are you BLIND? Or out of your bloody MIND? Or blind AND out of your bloody mind?

You KNOW I'll NEVER win this. Fireangelism is a silly, shameless, camwhoring, self-indulging, hair-brained, pointless, time wasting, intelligence-free, zero-productivity-at-work-inducing site which....... hmmm.....wait a minute, some of you sickfuckers actually have a penchant for this kinda shit don't you? I might actually WIN this won't I? I mean if all five of you sickfuckers actually got together and.... OH WHO THE HELL AM I KIDDING HERE.

So who is responsible for this already? I promise I won't send my band of mercenary blood-thirsty, kitten-eating ninjas to swiftly and quietly annihilate you, your family, your pet fishes and your dog in the middle of your sleep or anything like that. Promise. With a cherry on top.

Wait. This is getting crazy. I didn't mean to go all batshit insane like that. What I actually meant to do was thank you. And as you can see, I'm not entirely very good with this whole thanking... thing. This really IS quite flattering. So...yeah.

Thank you.


Monday, September 4, 2006

Pure White Linen Is Yummy

One of my 18(+8)th birthday presents was a bottle of perfume.

A bottle of Estee Lauder's Pure White Linen, to be precise.

I firmly believe that there are no such thing as bad presents.

The only BAD thing about presents is not getting any.

You know... like air.

Funny thing is that this was NOT the only perfume set I received as a gift for my birthday.


*sniffs self*

I don't smell bad also. Hmph.


Why don't people EVER hire me for this kinda shit? Can't they see I'm not a troll? Or am I? I am? So it's because I'm a troll isn't it you fucking double standard bigots!!

As you can see, a camwhore never misses a chance to camwhore, so mind the shameless self-indulging photos once again. It's my site so fuck you. Also am kinda sick of seeing Gwyneth I-look-so-normal Paltrow's freaking face everywhere as well I mean ENOUGH of her mediocreness already ohmygod uber hot looking supdermodels EXISTS for a reason, and it definitely isn't for rocket science research.

There was a major launch thing going on for this perfume. If you were one of them NORMAL people who don't stick their noses to the PC screen 24-7 and actually LEAVE the house periodically you'll notice that this perfume is being advertised at every single advertising avenue known to men.

Fuck you, pervs

Apperently, Pure White Linen is the daughter of classic White Linen, something your mother and my mother used. I loved the smell of White Linen because of its subtle flowery smell of familiarity and comfort. Because I grew up smelling it on mum.

I suppose the smart people at Estee Lauder realised this and decided to launch another younger, fresher edition of this perfume to appeal to the younger generation. Because let's face it, as much as we love them, do we really want to smell like our mothers? Would you really want to remind your boyfriend of his mother? Hahaha! Didn't think so!

Woah. Deep. Eyebags. Fill. Goldbars. Need. Photoshop. Classes.

Some perfumes out there with about a thousand other species of flower/fruit/flavouring/dead animals' musk mixed in a bottle smell so damn pungent that just a mere whiff of it makes your nostrils feel like it's being pricked by a million tiny needles. And what is it with trying to smell like dessert? I like my vanilla very much but not so much until I want to smell like cake. Flavour enhancers should NOT be used in frangrances damnit!

I personally like my perfumes to smell subltey and fresh-like. A nice blend of fruits and flowers. With a hint of citrus. Something about citrus in perfumes makes me feel lively, cheery and gay. No, I mean gay in a gay happy way, not in the gay Big Gay Al in Pink Leotards gay way, not to say that gay people aren't happy or anything but you know, I was describing an EMOTION, not a way of life okay I mean seriously how would gay people smell like when they don't even smell the same because they smell like every other folk like you and me ANYWAY? Sheesh.

It's mine I tell you. MINE. My only. My precioussss.....

If you like Clinique's Happy, you'll like Pure White Linen too. Not quite the same, but pretty similar in a way. Both reminds you of sunshiney days on an orchard of freshly bloomed flowers which sprung from the damp earth after a rainy day.

I love this stuff. It's subtle. It's flowery and there's a hint of citrus I so love which comes from the green Granny Smith Apple top tones. So no, you can't have it.

Now I can skip showers and still smell nice! Wakakakka!

Thanks for the lovely gift! Me so happy! Me love prezzies!

People should just give me more free stuff you know IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR REALLY? Shit.