Monday, February 27, 2006

Shaken Not Stirred

I've been wanting to make liqueur shake for a while now. In my mind it would be the most delicious cold drink EVER. I would patent the recipe, sit back, and wait for the MILLIONS to rake in. And if that didn't work out, I would have some fun making it and SOME form of alcoholic beverage to drink in the end, at least.

So, on one typically boring Friday night, and just because I'm a sad pathetic worm who's terribly single and have no social life whatsover, I managed to con Mr Koi Pervert to take part in this silly experimental project of mine (and to be my guinea pig lah, don't tell him that ok?). Of course, it's also a good excuse to drink. Bwahehaheaheha.

So, without further ado.

I love vanilla ice-cream. And I love my liqueurs. To mix them both up and create an ice cold alcoholic beverage would be a fantastical idea. Add one good thing with another good thing so that the result would be GREATER than the sum of the good things added together. The Synergy concept should work on EVERYTHING.... right?

Materials & Equipments
-1 shot glass (I used the Ikea one.. which is actually MORE than 1 shot. Yeay!)
-Baileys (milk for adults)
-Kahlua (coffee for alcoholics)
-50% Smirnoff Vodka Blue Label (bleach for your innards)
-Milk (not a really good idea, as we will find out later)
-Blender (to mix the shit with)
-1 tub of Vanilla Ice Cream (yum)

Oh what fun is it to make an alcoholic beverage!

Experimental Procedure
1. One shot of Baileys, Kahlua, & Vodka EACH, separately measured and tasted. Yum.
2. Measure another shot of the above conconction and pour into blender.
3. Measure 1 glass of milk.
4. Pour that stuff into the blender too, yo.
5. 4 big spoonfuls of ice cream chucked into blender, NEVER forget to taste it first, because it's yum.
6. Blend blend blend.

Don't forget to taste EVERYTHING.

1. Foam on top of the drink, like cappucino foam. Probably from the milk and ice-cream.
2. Latte coloured
3. Strong vodka smell and taste
4. Very thin, like milk - not milkshakey enough.

Got milk?

Sigh. Didn't turn out as FANTABULOUS as I'd envisioned it. Subject to improvement. Looks like my million dollar raking plan will have to be delayed a TAD bit.

At least it was FUN and we HAD our drinks. So it was still SUPER! :P

Friday, February 24, 2006

I Ruv Them Wrong Time.


I went! I saw! I camwhored! I touched them ALL!

The play was asskickingly funny! I laughed so hard from start to finish! FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY SHIT! Screw the gym man! Just watch this play! Guranteed great work out and 3 times the fun!

I had just gotten off work and as damage control, consumed a Presidente Margarita JUST before the play. I wonder if that upped the funny-ness factor. *hic*

Actors are camwhores too! (Douglas, Fish, Ida, Na'a & sumposer)


I was too sober.

And it WAS really FUNtastic!

Goddamnit I LOVE funny plays SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm. Why Douglas is smiling like that? :P (Na'a, sumposer, Douglas)

And then after the play, we drank a little more. *hic*

Actorlympics is like Drew Carey's "Whose Line Is It Anyway" (my favourite standup comedy of all time) but with a generous dose of local spices, featuring familiar faces from our local performance arts industry.

And most importantly, it's ALL IMPROMPTU! Well, at least, that's what they tell us over and over and over and over.......

The Reza Burger (sumposer, Reza, Chen)

Mr. Afdlin & Mr. Edwin are now up there in my AWESOMENEST LIST alongside long island ice teas and paper-by-weigh. Stand-up comic geniuses!!! MAKE ME HAPPY LONGGGG TIME!

Who da pimp daddy, yo! (Suan, Afdlin, sumposer)

.. and there'sssSSSSSS Suanie (tm)!

Suan! Suan! She's so FUN! She's so fun she's number one! :P

This guy, Afdlin, doesn't even NEED to do anything to be funny. I mean JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE! Is that NOT A FACE of a PELAWAK ANTARABANGSA? It's RIDICULOUS how much bloody talent this joker has. RIDICULOUS.

I HEART EDWIN! HONTONI! (sumposer, Edwin)

EDWIN SUMUN FOREVER!!!!!! He's MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE OF THE EVENING! How can anybody NOT love a guy who wears a TIARA on stage, shamelessly flirts with all the UNDERAGED male species of the crowd and acts like Doraemon on too much WEED?!? ABSOLUTE CROWD KILLER! LOVE HIM LOVE HIM LOVE HIM A HUNDRED TIMES!

And THEY BLOG too! Don't pray pray. Actors are so in the NOW these days.




SO MUCH LOVE! (Pet, Edwin, Na'a, Afdlin, sumposer)

Because everything was made up on the spot, what I saw last night will NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN BY ANYONE! BWAHAHHA! IT's MINE! AND MINE ONLY! Well.... mine and the rest of last night's audiences... bah.

Actorlympics is probably the ONLY local production that allows the audience to participate... but I could be wrong.. lalalalala. Goddamnit we PAY for this shit man so it's only fair they let us have SOME say in this!!!! Justice at long last! MUAHAHA!

In short, a GREAT outing! Domo Arigatou!

Details of the play can be found HERE.

(Pictures SHAMELESSLY stolen from Albert, Silencers & Cheneille. Thanks peeps! You're ALL gems! Muaks!)

Monday, February 20, 2006

The Loft, The Loft, The Loft Is On Fire!

I haven't been clubbing in AGES. Everybody's got better things to do they said. Grown up. OT. Face sucking. DoTa. Animal porn. These are stupid inane excuses not to have fun drinking and dancing. Really, there is nothing better than hard liquour and good loud music OKAY hello?

So, imagine how monkey crazy happy I was when I managed to con Suan into bringing me along to her friend's birthday bash . My FIRST time at The Loft! Oh what fun!

[Let's pretend that I have a very very nice picture of the Loft's entrance right here]

If I had to describe how The Loft was in 2 words it would've been, fanfuckingtastically awesome. The place was did up very pretty, pretty, pretty (I've run out of adjectives). And ANY club with an elevated catwalk with psychadelic lighting is way up there in my AWESOME LIST together with gummy bears and stationery shops. And there's definitely good ventilation going on there because I could breathe and breathing is like the MOST important thing in your life. FOR your life.


The thing about Malaysian Clubs is that they don't have proper dance floors anymore. They ( the evil people managing clubs) must've figured that the cash cows are the drinking cows. Not the dancing ones. So they squeeze in as MANY miniature teeeeny tiny tables on the dance floors, give you NO chairs, and expect everybody to drink, stand, and dance on the same 2X2 centimeter square personal floor space. Ridiculous.

Evil blood sucking soundrels from hell.

So The Loft had a decent dancing space and I was insanely happy!!!!!!!! So happy that I feel compelled to put in extra exclamation marks!!!!!!!!


[Pretend I have an amazing picture of The Loft's interior here with the colourful lights, the sofas, and everything.]

The DJ was KICKASS. No overplayed "hiphop RnB" bullshit like we hear on every radio station every hour and at every OTHER clubs at KL. It was ALL fast dance music. This DJ is GOD. PLEASE MAKE HIM RESIDENT DJ FOREVER AMEN.


[... And of course a picture of the DJ doing his thing. He's caucasian, btw.]

I was googling for the name of the DJ and even for more information on The Loft - got nothing. But I found a decent write-up about the Loft HERE.

There was this guy, who looked like he was bald by choice, who came up to me and said " FIREANGEL?". And I'm like, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" And he's like "@#$&@^$0573". He mentioned his name twice, but for the life of baby pandas I really couldn't hear jackschitt from all the loud music. And my name is NOT June or whatever. Geezus. Keep track of the chicks you meet, man. :)

Okay, I need to know something. What are YOUR reasons to go clubbing? The whole POINT of me going to club is to DANCE, DRINK, and MAKE MERRY. This obviously does NOT include STANDING AROUND like fucking STATUES gawking at other people and TAKING UP SPACE. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU TO DO THAT. THIS AIN'T NO MUSUEM OF CONTEMPORARY ART. GET THE FUCK OUT. They weren't even DRINKING for fuck sakes you know? Shit.

And if you're ON the dance floor? DANCE. If you're not going to dance? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DANCE FLOOR ASSHOLES. Kanineh really too much man some lanjiaus.

[Pretend it's a picture of Takeshi Kaneshiro here. And why not? He's hot.]

Another thing? Like dudes, seriously, if you have even the slightest ounce of dignity, stay AWAY from any elevated platforms. Ditto poles. Or any cages. NO. It is NEVER a good idea. Be a man. Say NO.

I don't know why just I went off into a rant, AGAIN.

Though we didn't drink as much as we hoped we would, it was still a great night out. There was GREAt music and there was PLENTY dancing. And I was happier than a python after swallowing a whole adult buffalo for sure. YEAY! Happy happy HAPPY! Can you NOT tell I love dancing? Muahaha! Thanks Suan!

I stole some pictures from Suanie because I didn't take any pictures of my own as I can't afford ia camera phone with my pay-by-grains-of-sand salary.

I heart Suanie.

And her friends thought that she was a lesbian. HO HO!

I really ought to stop doing that L thing. It's so overdone. I need a new cheesy pose. Argh look at how high my forehead is. People with high foreheads are supposed to be intelligent. But THIS. IS. NOT. TRUE. AT. ALL. My forehead and I can attest to that.
Hot Birthday Girl.

We bought the birthday girl a Flaming. After she sipped up the whole thing she was like all "THIS IS MY FAVOURITE DRINK!". Fastforward 30 minutes, the GLASS table broke, the glasses were smashed, and EVERYTHING ended on the floor in pieces! Hehehe.

Birthday girl was pretty! I envy girls who have that natural ability to dress up and splash their faces with colors to look all nice. Everytime I try doing that, I end up looking like a one week old rotting clown corpse. It's worse without makeup though.

Oh, and another thing:

FireAngel --
A person who is constantly high
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at

The above is NOT true, however. But please take me out clubbing some time! I'll be fun! Promise!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Shot Through The Heart and Now You're Dead.

For Me? Aww.

So..... Valentine's Day today is it? All you suckers going to spend a lot of money on your beau hor? Why? Feeling guilty about something isit? Flirted with her best friend? Blew off a hot date with her because you were too engrossed with Grand Theft Auto on your PS2? Called her mother a stinking fat buffalo behind her back? Secretly replaced her precious 2 year old clown fish Nemo which DIED because you forgot to feed it, even after she had REPEATEDLY reminded you to, while she was away visiting relatives for a week?

Hah! I thought so.

Just because it's Valentine's Day and you love her my ass.

But seriously lah, all this Valentine's Day thingy is too hyped up. Prices of EVERYTHING quadruples. Flowers, restaurants, hotel rooms, chocolate, stuffed toys, frilly girly thingies from Memorylane, petrol, raw chicken, garlic... it's too much already I tell you. If you really "loved" (hahah. Love. HAhAHAHAH. Think I born yesterday isit? Love is as real as the tooth fairy!) somebody, EVERYDAY is freaking VALENTINE'S DAY, OKAY.

Ohmygod I'm so cute I can't believe it!

BUT. If you people still want to DIE-DIE celebrate it anyway then, I have, in the spirit of a holiday which is NOT even a REAL holiday, painstakingly compiled a list of things which you can do FOR and WITH each other without being ass raped by greedy money sucking blood thirsty dicks of capitalism.

.....Or you could simply ignore everything I'm saying here and go straight to flaming me, my blog, how ugly I am, how unfunny I am so on so forth. It's not called flaming when it's true. It's called cruelly STATING THE OBVIOUS.


(it's not that you're a cheapskate, it's because you have principles!)

Flowers which die in a day?? Designer chocolates which will make her fat? Cute stuffed toys which will be forgotten in a week and left in the corner to collect dust? Cheesy Hallmark cards? Burning holes in your pockets over overpriced, absolutely useless VDAY SPECIAL ONE DAY ONLY bullshit? DON'T BE STUPID! Here's an EVEN BETTER idea - FUCK ALL THAT. Completely ignore everything that's even remotely related to VDay! Why? It's just another goddamn WEEKDAY and you have a REAL JOB and you're not some BRAINLESS sheep succumbing to the herd's definition of "ROMANTIC", and HEY! Isn't working hard and earning money for your future and making sure that there's FOOD on the table tomorrow an even smarter, more romantic gesture godDAMNit?


And I haven't forgot about the single people. I'm single too (because I'm ugly and etc yes I know it all. Shuddup.) and I share your happiness.

Fuck you flowers.


(because self-gratification is gratification too!)

We could MOST definitely just FUCK IT MMKAY? FIRST of all, it has NOTHING to do with us because we are INDEPENDENT, SELF-PRESERVING, SELF-SERVING individuals. We are goddamn ISLANDS, FUCKING IBIZAS. We are our OWN bitches! Secondly, Vday is just a another godDAMN lame attempt for happy smug couples to rub it in our faces with a "HARHAR I GOT SOMEBODY. YOU DON'T. YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER! HAR HAR!" smirk, oh my god why don't you just BURN, BITCHES! Goddamn fucking couples.

....... OR you could date me because I smell nice.

(or send me flowers)
(...or chocolates)
(...or cards)
(...or whatever)
(I'm not very picky)


Valentine's Day is stupid.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Tuah Didn't Get Lucky.

I had the pleasure of watching Puteri Gunung Ledang, The Musical quite recently. (Compliments of TV through Suan. A thousand thanks to both). I Love musicals! I've been DYING to watch a LIVE Musical, and I didn't care WHAT it was, I just HAD to WATCH ONE, DAMNIT. NOW.

Sadly, we don't get enough of musicals. And even THEN, prices for the tickets are just short of an atom bomb. As an underpaid corporate monkey slave, I don't even have enough money for lunches, let alone atom bombs. Have to settle for Hindi movies on Tv2 and Tv3 aired every weekend afternoons.

But I digress. PGL! THE MUSICAL!! OH WHAT FUN!!!!!!

The hills are alive with the sound of music!

The legend of Puteri Gunung Ledang, for those who grew up never hearing it before (call yourself a Malaysian? Malu only!), is basically about a princess, a king's warrior, a king, some crazy assed marriage preconditions, and a Mount Ophir.

Or, you can get a better version of the legend HERE. Click!

The movie is even Wikipedia-ed! Click!

Angry guy: "Who stole my shirt?" Guy Left:"Not me! Not me!"

Wah seriously .... when the curtain first went up, the set totally blew my mind away! The set was, for the lack of a better word, FANTASTIC! I mean this is a 100% made in Malaysia production, and being Malaysian AND a pessimistic one, I really wasn't expecting much. But WOAH! The Set! The Props! The Costumes! The lighting! The wayang kulit effect! Everything! Nice! Pretty! Best! AWESOME! The stage had some REALLY fancy hydraulics work going on there which was ON! ONE THOUSAND POINTS!

The shadow crept up unto them silently and when they knew that the Bogeyman existed.... it was too late.

Tiara is super duper HAWT for SURE! And she's REALLY toned too! Slurp. I am surprised that she wasn't taller. She's probably about my height. Heheheh. Yeay! There is HOPE YET FOR MIDGETS LIKE ME! I STILL CAN RULE THE WORLD!!! MUAhaHAHHA! Ahem. And yes, she CAN sing! Though, at sad parts, I couldn't really tell if she was heart broken or smiling with glee.....

The ensemble was ass kicking. Everytime they came out to sing/dance/clown about/do the chorus, I get the goose bumps, of the good sort. They had the whole Bollywood-esque synchronised communal dancing & singing thing working out great most of the time!

Sultan Mansur was played by none other than Adlin Amin, the same guy from the movie! Most of the time I felt like punching his face in though, and that's a good thing right? OH! OH! He had this one moment which reminded me of a routine from Kung Fu Hustle, and for that one moment, he was AWESOME. I hope that they made it intentionally funny, because I couldn't stop laughing like a maniac on weed. Watching him do the routine and say the most incredible shit while he (A SULTAN OKAY!) was gyrating his hips was too fucking priceless. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME! A hundred points for being funny!

(By the way, was it just me or did anybody else catch references to the King and I musical? Got lah. A few parts, kan? Go watch it and tell me lah!)

YEargHHh!!! ARGHhhh!!!WUARrghhh!!!

AC Mizal acting as Adapati, the Majapahit King, was the best ever. He OWNED it. Nobody else in the goddamn play came CLOSE to how he asswhiped his character and made it his own bitch, especially when he's all PISSED OFF and going "MUST. HAVE. BLOOD. ARGHHHHHH!" 3/4 of the time. AWESOME-NEST-EVER. MIZAL=ADAPATI FOREVER.ONE MILLION POINTS! JUST GIVE THE MAN A BLOODY AWARD ALREADY!

I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty! and witty! And GAY!

Hang Tuah was played by an imported Angmoh. I couldn't believe it either, why ah? Our local men not good enough isit? Somebody was raving to me about how he's this big time Broadway actor singer actor and even had parts for Andrew Lloyd Weber's musical and was oozing sexual appeal and EVERYTHING... but I thought he was a little kayu. Guess it didn't help that he couldn't understand of word of MELAYU to begin with padahal the whole musical was IN Melayu. Kesian. Most of the time he just looks out of place and lost because he wasn't quite Melayu-ish enough. Silat pun takde gaya silat. BUT. He could sing like you wouldn't believe, and that's a GREAT thing! When he hit the high notes, I was like, WOAH. Dude.

Also a shout out to the Gusti Putri's Bayan - Sukania Venugopal. She be rocking it, yo!

There were some technical problems though. Mics were falling off / not working when dialogues/important singing parts were going on. Meh. Magical experience pun tergendala sikit. But nevermind, still tahan-able.

What REALLY pissed me off was THE BLOODY SUBTITLES. ARGH! It was on a LED SCREEN. RIGHT ON TOP OF THE STAGE. I was sitting just a few rows away from the stage, had to crane my neck upwards to a 180 degrees and I COULD HARDLY READ THE DAMN THING. The moron who was operating it must've been a drunk, drugged MONKEY because he/she/it is ALWAYS FUCKING UP THE TIMING. TOO FAST. TOO SLOW. ANNOYING AS HELL. Minus FIVE THOUSAND points.

And sometimes the bass or the chorus would go so loud, I couldn't even hear the soloists sing! FIX THE SOUND SYSTEM OR SOMETHING! At parts it's like I'm in a fengtau club as all I could hear was the BASS. DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM.

It could get a litttttle draggy too. In fact, ALL romantic/slow/tender moments were draggy for me because I'm more of the GIVE ME BLOOD KILL EVERYBODY NOW person. Thank goodness for the little stolen bits of comic relief by the cameos! Those were BEST! Five Golden stars for all the funny people! YEAY!

On the contrary (to it being draggy), the second part (Melaka scene) of the play after intermission felt a little rushed and messy somewhat. They took their time with the first part (Majapahit scene) and it was fantastic! Second bit was like "OMFG we're running out of time/money/snacks to munch so let's just finish it up, get everybody to sing twice as fast, and call it a day!". Well, it FELT like that anyway.


Happy Shiny People Making Merry!

Overall, I'll give it a B, and NOT just because I am a true blue anak Malaysia and patriotic and can use the public toilets without cringing. No! It was really decent!

A lot of effort was put into this musical and it was GOOD effort! The musical has its highlights and its little annoying fuckups, sure. But on the most parts it was enjoyable!

Should you watch it? YES. Watch it NOT JUST solely for the "it's a made in Malaysia" thing, but because it has great entertainment value! If you could watch the movie and liked it (or not), you would definitely like the musical a WHOLE LOT MORE (or dislike it much less). Dancing, singing, hot chicks, hot guys, humour, romance, violence, semua pun ada! Fun for the whole family! Yeay!


More details of the Musical HERE.

More reviews aggregated HERE, courtesy of Midnitelily (who is hot, btw).


Thursday, February 9, 2006

I've Been KennySia-ed.

Noticed a CRAZY mindfucking spike in traffic today.

And it's purely because of THIS.

I'm still not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing.

But here I am making a tiny announcement to discharge my accountability (omfg I can't believe I'm so smart I could SUBTLY add in a reference to accounting. GENIUS!), anyway.

1. I am not hot

2. I am not cute

3. I am not sassy

4. I am not funny

5. I am not witty

6. I am not intelligent.

So, some of you DID get it right. I'm REALLY just this plain looking, ineloquent, unfunny, pissy-pissy little single girl because nobody wants me except for my 52 stray cats, 2 sheeps, 5 ducks, 7 gerbils, 10 pigs and my Mongolian yak whom I love to call "snuffle" because he reminds me of that giant cute goofy hairball on Sesame Street.

There. That should clear off whatever assumptions Kenny might have misled you into thinking. Luckily for Kenny, he's living on an island far, far away otherwise I might have to feed my flesh-eating worms with his coconuts, and then forcefeed Kenny with said worms, pour vinegar all over his wounds and have the hyenas feed on him while he's being hung upside down by his dick. With a barbwire. (What I'm REALLY trying to say is, Thanks Kenny.)

If you came here expecting something SPECIAL, I WILL dissapoint you, unless you were expecting the bus-window-wiping-with-tongue sort of special, THAT I have plenty.

Help yourselves to a good day. Go away.

To the 10 of you who actually READ this blog because you know me in person and you are actually my FRIEND, you poor souls, regular blog transmission will resume shortly.


Monday, February 6, 2006

Look ma! I'm on camera!

What does a girl do, bored out of her mind, on a really hot Tuesday night, with a couple of beers on the side, and a webcam at her disposal?

Shoot a video.

What does a girl do with it after she has sobered up?

Post it up for the world to see and ridicule, then let them shred her self-worth to pieces.

She must be out of her freaking mind.

.... and I reaaaaally should stop referring to myself as a third person


1. It was late. I was tired. And already had a drink before the video.

2. I am ALREADY aware that :
a) I sound like I am retarded
b) I am as eloquant as a 5 year old autistic child with a speech impediment
c) I have an annoying voice
d) My face is ugly
e) I'm as funny as a chinese fingernail extracting torture instrument
f) [insert other deragotary insult of choice]

... so yeah, please tell me something NICE. Even if you have to lie through your teeth.

3. This would be of course, my first video recording ever.

4. The video was done in ONE take. No edit, nothing - only because I don't KNOW how to, and even if I did, I probably can't be arsed to do it. But, I did do retakes (about 2 others) because I kept screwing up pronounciating words like HI! FIREANGEL! IS! NOT! ALCOHOLIC!

5. No preparations or ANY research done prior to recording. I WILL say stupid things.

6. It's 7 minutes. I know. Got carried away. Sorry. Perhaps an alcoholic beverage first?

7. I bear NO responsibility whatsoever for anything BAD that may happen to you as a result of watching this video (eg, convulsions, nightmares, insomnia, nausea, hysteria, the sudden ability to speak in tongues etc.)


Nevertheless, I STILL hope you have as much fun watching it as I have recording it.

Some obligatory but very bad quality camwhoring pictures. Using webcam lah.

My companion for the night.

WTF! Stop acting cute, bitch.

It's hosted HERE.

Edited: Ok fuckers, it's not that I DON'T know. I HAVE tried embedding it. But it just screws up the entire layout and I can't be arsed to TRY IT ANYMORE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I'VE EDITED THIS POST IN AN HOUR?!?!?! SHITTTT! *Bangs head on broken glasses out of frustration*

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

It's NevAr Too Late

Herro! It's me! Last year's mascot! I had a great time. I mean, check out my belly. A result of a whole year's worth of boozing, making merry, messing around with the other chicks and cock feed. It's a tough job, being the cock of the year and all that.

Let me introduce you to a good friend of mine. Dog. I know right? We're supposed to be enemies and he's supposed to be chasing my tail and everything. But look, he has his arm around my wings. In a good way. Good way = not enemies. See? We're best buds.

Dog: Hoi. Shuddup. My turn. Woof!

Cock: Sniff ok. Baibai.

Dog: Hi! Me is dog. Me is cute. Me new mascot. Wish you good things. Woof woof!

Angpows. Blue coloured paper. A lot. Very good. Bone? Even Better.

Good shit. Have more.


Many friends. Many happiness. Many time. Many good.

Gong Xi Gong Xi!