Monday, February 6, 2006

Look ma! I'm on camera!

What does a girl do, bored out of her mind, on a really hot Tuesday night, with a couple of beers on the side, and a webcam at her disposal?

Shoot a video.

What does a girl do with it after she has sobered up?

Post it up for the world to see and ridicule, then let them shred her self-worth to pieces.

She must be out of her freaking mind.

.... and I reaaaaally should stop referring to myself as a third person

READ THIS FIRST:

1. It was late. I was tired. And already had a drink before the video.

2. I am ALREADY aware that :
a) I sound like I am retarded
b) I am as eloquant as a 5 year old autistic child with a speech impediment
c) I have an annoying voice
d) My face is ugly
e) I'm as funny as a chinese fingernail extracting torture instrument
f) [insert other deragotary insult of choice]

... so yeah, please tell me something NICE. Even if you have to lie through your teeth.

3. This would be of course, my first video recording ever.

4. The video was done in ONE take. No edit, nothing - only because I don't KNOW how to, and even if I did, I probably can't be arsed to do it. But, I did do retakes (about 2 others) because I kept screwing up pronounciating words like HI! FIREANGEL! IS! NOT! ALCOHOLIC!

5. No preparations or ANY research done prior to recording. I WILL say stupid things.

6. It's 7 minutes. I know. Got carried away. Sorry. Perhaps an alcoholic beverage first?

7. I bear NO responsibility whatsoever for anything BAD that may happen to you as a result of watching this video (eg, convulsions, nightmares, insomnia, nausea, hysteria, the sudden ability to speak in tongues etc.)

8. I deny EVERYTHING.

Nevertheless, I STILL hope you have as much fun watching it as I have recording it.

Some obligatory but very bad quality camwhoring pictures. Using webcam lah.

gctimes2
My companion for the night.


hoegaarden.jpg
WTF! Stop acting cute, bitch.

It's hosted HERE.

Edited: Ok fuckers, it's not that I DON'T know. I HAVE tried embedding it. But it just screws up the entire layout and I can't be arsed to TRY IT ANYMORE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I'VE EDITED THIS POST IN AN HOUR?!?!?! SHITTTT! *Bangs head on broken glasses out of frustration*

94 comments:

  1. embeddable player? copy and paste:



    entertaining read! hehe..and you looked/sounded pretty drunk in the video as you said!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I mean, copy and paste the link on which it says 'embeddable player'? It works that way? no?

    FA: I tried it, but nothing came out. Just blank.  

    ReplyDelete
  3. hey girl,
    copy and paste the lines below without the quotations marks at the start and end into your post and it should embed it for you.

    ""

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not sure if you are using wordpress but you can just use the code [youtube="insert url here"]

    ReplyDelete
  5. ok that did not work, LOL!

    will msn you

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maybe you should have danced a little to make it more entertaining?

    Haha.... I like it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. kekekkeke
    same on net as in real life mah

    ReplyDelete
  8. HahHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

    hahahahhAHAHHAHAH

    i like it. too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My face is ugly.

    You are as ugly as Ashwarya Rai, Fireangel; and she is, and I consider her to be, amongst the (most) beautiful women of this world.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, FUCK all that I just said.

    You're chubbily cute. Just too damn chubbily cute. (Yeah, I just watched the video.)

    FA: WTF!??!?! CHUBBY?!?!? HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO WEIGH TO BE SLIM THESE DAYS?!?!?! 20??!?!! POUNDS?!?!?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey FA,

    Watched your first review, and it was hillarious!!! I can't wait for more, morE, morE!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good first attempt... Look at the camera lah! So shy isit... :P

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  13. Pretty good. :P
    I prefer liquor too nowadays. Beer just makes me feel too bloated to get the same effect. And Asahi is nice, clean and dry taste.

    ReplyDelete
  14. '... and I reaaaaally should stop referring to myself as a third person'

    Yeah, you're starting to sound like a female Zap Brannigan! :-)

    '1. It was late. I was tired. And already had a drink before the video.'

    I always found a scotch and coke before going on stage helped my jitters when I was a musician (only because it's hard for introverts to get up and perform without something to get rid of inhibitions).

    '2. I am ALREADY aware that :
    a) I sound like I am retarded'


    That's not very Politically Correct!!!
    *Phones the PC police!* :-)

    'b) I am as eloquant as a 5 year old autistic child with a speech impediment'

    Don't insult 5 year old autistic children with speach impediments! :-)
    *runs*

    'c) I have an annoying voice'

    I think it sounds cute, especially the accent. :-)

    'd) My face is ugly'

    Wanna swap? Bet your face seems a lot prettier now with that offer! :-)
    [Thinks you just said you are ugly as you are fishing fo compliments!]
    If you really think it's bad, do the next Video with a paper bag on your head! :-)

    'e) I’m as funny as a chinese fingernail extracting torture instrument'

    Oh well, we can't all be funny. :-)
    *No comments please* :-)

    'f) [insert other deragotary insult of choice]'

    You're a female Dabido ... that's the worst insult I can think of. :-)
    NOW I'm in big trouble! :-)

    '… so yeah, please tell me something NICE. Even if you have to lie through your teeth.'

    I thought it was a nice review. My mother came to see what I was watching right when you were going 'It's F***ing hot' etc. I had to apologies and say, 'Sorry Mum, she sort of swears a lot.' :-)

    '5. No preparations or ANY research done prior to recording. I WILL say stupid things.'

    Like saying that Belgians speak Belgian? They speak Flemish (and also French and English ... or so the ones I've met and been white water rafting with).

    Looking forward to the FireAngel movie. 90 minutes of HoeGaaaaaarden reviews!

    Besides, why drink beer? In Aussie they DO CALL IT P*SS for a reason.
    Do a real review, scotch and coke, LIIT, vestal virgins, grasshoppers, ribena and galliano etc, :-)

    A different drink each week. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Take it from me, u gotta look at the camera. It helps. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. uhhhh imran. if you like, see FA in real life, the last thing that would come to mind is the word 'chubby'.

    think 'hot'.

    think 'thin'.

    think 'kate moss can get lost'.

    anyways, i cannot wait for the next one. hehe FASTER FASTER MAKE NUDDER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. The couldy appearance is due to the remains for the yeasts which is required for fermentation.

    Yeast is a good source for Vitamin B, biotin & niacin. So, another plus point for drinking alcohol?

    Well post u some links on beer science, if u want to. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Who cares about the belgium label! Can't wait for second review. Need liquor sponsors?

    FA: Liquour? Sponsors? HELL YEAH! 

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  19. you too shy lah my angel... you should BURN!!!!

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  20. oh fireangel, you've a very slight lisp! *LOL*

    yeah, try looking at the cam the next round. :)

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  21. heehhee... Yes.. MORE videos please, Fireangle!!! very entertaining. hehe...

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  22. Very entertaining... Other people sooo mean! You should try moving the window up closer to your camera, so you can look at yourself and see be looking into the camera...

    Nice to hear another Asian swear as much as you.. =)

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  23. Fireangel is teh hot.
    Fireangel's voice is teh sexy.

    :D

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  24. Hi~~
    U know the taste! Hoegaarden is nice! I like it!
    U first video clip cool!
    Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  25. how many the fucking fucks can the hawt FA say in a whole video?

    eh i didn't count lol..

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  26. Yeah,

    If I ever have the opportunity to be in the same company of such beauty, 'chubby' will definitely be the word that comes to mind.

    So when can I actually meet The Beauty in person?

    ReplyDelete
  27. I got the exact same mike :p You should do a video-podcast, girl! In the mean time, you should be on my show! Boy can you talk :p klpodcast@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. "FA: WTF!??!?! CHUBBY?!?!? HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO WEIGH TO BE SLIM THESE DAYS?!?!?! 20??!?!! POUNDS?!?!?"

    As far as I'm concerned you're slim enough already.

    Chubbiness is a desirable trait. Sadly, most women don't believe in that kind of shit nowadays. Instead, they prefer the traits of an anorexic. Which aren't really that sexy, unless you're another product of pop culture who thinks its wrong to have an opinion and would rather do what the mass crowd does. Tell me, FireAngel, what's so fun about humping a bag of bones? It's not, right?

    Slimness is overrated. Voluptousness, on the other hand, is underrated. And we need more voluptuous babes around.

    So may I call you chubby again? In a good way? Please, Fireangel?

    FA: Only if you bribe me with a gallon of liquour. 

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pretty cute, but a very 'mo-liu' dialogue :D

    I'm impressed that you had so much to say in front of a cam on the first take, a lot of people tend to be tongue-tied when it comes to speaking in front of a camera.

    It's a shame youtube.com is such a public hosting, there were really a lot of shite comments posted up there about you - very unnecessary!

    Look forward to reading more on your blog :)

    FA: Eh since was this an intellectual blog? Heh. Pity about the Youtube comments. Thank god for the Delete function though. By the way, this video WAS MY THIRD TAKE. I screwed up the first 2 :)  Well, thanks for dropping by!

    ReplyDelete
  30. omg i'm watching your videocast for the second time coz i can't fucking sleep, and i beh tahan lah.

    "you may also notice this white stick-like thingy"

    BAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

    omg i got SO MANY crossed messages from your video shit hahahaha cannot stop laughing!

    FA: SO YOUNG SO DIRTY! TSK! 

    ReplyDelete
  31. ah yes this one as well.

    "i'm also looking down most of the time."

    with finger pointing action and all.

    oh dear FA, is there something you'd like to let us know ah ahhahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  32. HalfmanHalfbiscuitFebruary 7, 2006 at 1:53 PM

    Sweet! You are shyer than I had anticipated, but very cute with it :)

    I pity you one thing: that the 'gods' did not favour you with taste buds to truly appreciate just how great beer is.

    Beer is yum and no less sophisticated than any other form of alcoholic beverage!!!

    FA: Yes. I pity me too. :( 

    ReplyDelete
  33. Why, thank you everyONE for the very restrained, very civil, very encouraging comments. Anonymous flamers can have my non-existant fat, black, 10 foot long cock up their asses. Cheerios.

    ReplyDelete
  34. can i be on your show too?

    actually, i just want the drink :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. FireAngel - The VIDEO!

    What does a girl do, bored out of her mind, on a really hot Tuesday night, with a couple of beers on the side, and a webcam at her disposal?

    Shoot a video.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Do try Samuel Adam, best ever light beer with fruity orange after taste.
    Cheers.

    http://www.samueladams.com/

    ReplyDelete
  37. CrazyC: I do that! It's a good idea, because naturally you want to see what's being filmed. The other options are minimising the video screen so you can't be tempted to look at yourself, or to make the camera more interesting with photos and such.

    FA: You already know I loved your video, but here I am saying it again anyway. More videos please, and down with the haters!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Chubby Fireangel. That's nice.

    Shy? Hahaha. Dun let her act take on you all. She pretend to be shy nia and then chew the head of you all.

    I hope the next video will features FA dancing just as KY requested.

    kthxbai and she's definitely one1one1one1one1111oneoneoeon111!!!

    ReplyDelete
  39. when is the next video cast?! need a topic? how about a review on Victoria Street? then you can start tearing them apart in the review!!!

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  40. Great first attempt!

    Very natural and free flowing for an unscripted "amateur". ;)

    Continue!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh BTW... I don't think Fireangel is chubby at all... I am so happy I am here in the US. Everyone here thinks I am average sized, but I am sure when I go home in June, I will hear all that "Wah! You put on weight, huh!"...=(

    And my mom wonders why I don't like going home...

    ReplyDelete
  42. dance dance in the video! dance dance!

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  43. yaya!
    she's the one1oneoneonee111 to dance on the video cast.

    ReplyDelete
  44. GUINNESS draught da best :p *lick*

    you may wanna try this

    Drop That Lager, Have A Cider!

    ReplyDelete
  45. HWAH!! YES!! I like! I like! (the beer... and OF COZ FIREANGEL) I'm in love! *swoon*

    Hmmm i just wonder, can ur readers start sending u alcohol and u do reviews?? :P

    FA: WOOOOOOOT! CAN CAN CAN CAN! WHY NOT>!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

    ReplyDelete
  46. maybe we could like, kidnap her, force alcohol down her throat (not that she wouldn't gulp it down willingly) and then when she starts dancing her highness away, someone shoot a video and cast it on the web!!

    huahuahuahuahuahua

    ReplyDelete
  47. You seemed to be slightly flushed and contented during the shooting. I noticed that it was a very long mike you were holding. From a technical point of view, I could not help wondering if you had rested the other end of the mike between your legs for stability. Oh, did I mention that you appeared to be slightly flushed and contented? Yup, I did! Of course, that could be because of the drink. Either that, or you could have been moving the long mike around a tad too much. Technically speaking, of course!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Brave attempt. Dont worry about the detractors, you'll get better.

    I know its a fun blog but perhaps when reviewing alcohol, you could review elements like the nose (describes the smell), body (depth,taste), finish (lingering aftertaste) and the packaging of the drink. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  49. u haven't try Erdinger?

    better than Asahi or Hoe la!

    u gotta try it damnit.

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  50. viewtru: wah liu... why you so technical one? when you wanna do a video cast yourself!?

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  51. If you need me to be the camera man for the next video shoot, just call :) - free of charge!!

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  52. This is fantastic. Well done!

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  53. Oi WOMAN! Some good shit and you didn't tell me about it. How could you?! When you gonna invite me out for a drink-till-you're-pissed-drunk session (pst... don't tell WL).

    ReplyDelete
  54. It's pronounced Who-Garten, as opposed to Ho-Garden.

    And there are much better beers out there than that, check out Kingfisher Strong from Bangalore. Similar alcohol content as the Grand Cru crap but I think you'd find it less bitter (since you are such a sweet lover). One large bottle of this will get you going, not that you need anything else to get you going.

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  55. coriander is a herb not a vegetable. ok ill stop being a herb nazi.

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  56. my all time fav beer is Paulaner Weisse Beer.. no bitter after taste guaranteed ;)

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  57. hehe.. watched the video and 1st thing that came to mind.. "SHE's DRUNK~!!"

    personally, I don't drink.. I can't stand that after drink bitter taste that seems to stay on the throat.. and yeah.. beer is overrated.. I guess ppl drink it coz its cheaper of the alchohol groups..

    me.. coke supporter... anytime..

    anywayz... I still say that video is hillarious..

    NOTE: I'm a first time reader of your blog.. will drop by more often.. ehehe..

    ReplyDelete
  58. nice clip . At least now that i know that there is a girl who in this world that is herself not like those fake pretty materialistic girls in shopping complexes.Totally Rocks. BE happy as yourself and as you can.Ur good looking so try looking at the camera more next time . Tc

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  59. You asked the viewers to leave comments so here I am.

    I like your sultry voice & you are really pretty. Think you should not drink before a video taping because it makes us swear. You gotta look more into the camera though.

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  60. zebby: drinking makes her swear? come have a seat, and get to know Fireangel abit more. :P

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  61. haha nice review but I feel you should just be yourself an STOP looking at the monitor while u are reviewing =0, once you finish the recording you can fall in love with it over and over again :)

    Keep up the good work !

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  62. i'm sure you read yongfook.com food reviews, FA

    balant.

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  63. Nice webcast! Do more!!

    A question, what did you add into your "special" ribena drink??

    ReplyDelete
  64. GOOOD LORD!!!

    OH MY SWEETNESSSS!!!

    I'M DROOLING ALREADY!!!

    where, oh where, pray tell, can i get one of those babies?!?!

    can u get the hoegaarden forbidden fruit here as well?!

    ReplyDelete
  65. hey... saw ur vid.. not bad ... but yea.. please look at the camera lense.. feel kinda weird having u looking downwords..hehe .. looking forward to see more of ur face on screen ; )

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  66. honestly:
    your voice is a little hoarse for a girl, but that's probably due to tiredness and the lousy mike. you don't look exceedingly glamourousy BEAUtiful but you're not ugly either. i think you have a sweet face, just that the darkness shrouded you and you were probably tired, and thus hagged looking. not to mention you were a little pissed on alcohol. you are pretty. BUT...
    but but but...
    what's up with all the 'fucking'? nigga please... (lol)

    seriously the fucks. subtle mentions of fuck sounds matured, but way too many fucks is just bad. baaaaaaaad.

    ReplyDelete
  67. singaporean... only have one thing to say:

    fuck, fuckity, fuck fuck fuck...

    hehehe :)

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  68. whats with ppl who got problem with FA being herself?? Did she break ur dream of being the perfect gal for you because she says fuck ?? to poster "singaporean" FUCK OFF

    ReplyDelete
  69. The opening HI seriously cracked me up but was well worth it. *Drunkard's Laugh*

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  70. i have only watched half of it, but i would agree with you that once you have tasted real beer, those common ones you find in Malaysia are like sh**.

    cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I've tried hoegarden, hmm....not really my type.
    i like asahi when served at pubs, weird must be the chilled glass...at home i drink out of the fridge in its bottle, doesn't quite taste the same!
    ;p

    ReplyDelete
  72. nice. youre too self depreciating. but one thing.. look into the camera!!! all i see is the top of your head. defeats the purpose of a making a video eh

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  73. Gosh..!!! you are so cute!! :)

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  74. Saying "fuck" is cool but it makes your video look like a porno film. "oh fuck, it feels so fucking good." ... sounds familiar?

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  75. yo, great clip. I wanna see more. MORE!

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  76. funny shit(!)

    great stuff(!)

    ROCK' that hoegaarden(!)

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  77. 7 fucking minutes and no boobies?

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  78. U've got it girl... which other girl can reflect herself so naturally speakin straight out from her mind like you..
    its takes some guts to do that...or some alcohol..;p
    anyway..its cool!

    cheers!!

    ReplyDelete
  79. hey sunshine

    get a real job man, this blogosphere crap is going to consume u. u sound like the mega self-serving, arrogant, attention seeker xiaxue(dot)blogspot.com

    FA: Oh? Tell me something new.

    ReplyDelete
  80. oh my...i switch on the speaker n the first word that is clear is the f word.. i have visitors and my parents were around..

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  81. u are cute!! And i love your voice =D

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  82. Try San Mig Light
    100 Cal
    5% Alcohol Content

    I find it hard to move after a few bottles though...

    ReplyDelete
  83. hey you're an badass and you toaltally own. definitely one in a million

    ReplyDelete
  84. That's balls even if u dun hv any... RESPECT. its the kinda shit most (myself included) wouldn't even dare to comprehend. loved it. i'm a fan. waiting for your next big screening. hope u do one for my fav, mind wrenching, def drunk inducing dutch beer (but of course) - Amsterdam Navigator 11.6%. its gotten f'd during times when i really need to. chase it with the 8.4% version. It's proven and it works... best of all.. its seemingly most readily available at certain (shell/spc) gas stations! keep on rocking gorgeous.

    ... me downing a tall can now!

    ReplyDelete

I disclaim all comments.