Tuesday, December 30, 2008

OI YOU BLOODY MALAYSIANS!

TIDUR AR! WAKE UP WAKE UP!

Nicol is in THE FINALS AND GETTING HER ASS KICKED BY THIS BOXER FELLOW.

HOW CAN! DAMN SHY LAH WAH LAU! HOW CAN U NOT SUPPORT OWN COUNTRY(WO)MEN!

Lose by a bit nevermind lah, but at this moment she only has 9% of the votes LEH!

Completely UNACCEPTABLE LAH!

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW.

WHAT YOU WAITING FOR! HAR! RED CARPET AH! STRETCH LIMO AH? A GOOD BITCH SLAPPING AH!

If you only want to do just ONE thing to show your patriotism for your country, screw taxes, screw waving your flags about and screw the elections - JUST VOTE FOR NICOL ON THAT ESPN THINGY.

GO VOTE A MILLION TIMES FOR NICOL. DO IT NOW. DROP EVERYTHING AND JUST DO IT.

OTHERWISE YOU'LL GET TEN BOILS ON YOUR BACKSIDE THAT'LL LAST A WHOLE YEAR!

GO GO GO GO GO

Vote Here

ScoreBoard Here

Monday, December 29, 2008

So Much Food!

Food hasn't been so bad the past few days. I'm still in Singapore, by the way.

I've actually been OVEReating. The belly is not going away. It's so bad that when I hunch, there's a triple fold on my overfed belly.

Shit!!!!! Got a wedding on Saturday to attend and I absolutely can NOT have a fucking awful overfed belly ARGH. The clothes I have now just WON'T FIT!

panic panic panic panic panic panic. okay don't panic. just eat in moderation!

Oh yeah pictures of food, every important. Since I'm a blogger and I have duties to uphold, HERE:

P1000545
This is a geoduck. In pieces. A geoduck is some seashell creature where the flesh looks like a giant dick. Just thought you'd like to know. Oh, it tastes very... fishy. No surprises there eh? Heh.

P1000609
Tanjong Katong Laksa. This is supposedly famous one. They serve this in a bowl, with a spoon. WithOUT chopsticks. It's how Tanjong Katong laksa is served EVERYWHERE in Singapore. Kinda odd for me because I'm used to holding a pair of chopsticks when there's noodles to be eaten but hey that's just me. It's just like asam laksa noodles in diluted curry laksa, but much less "liu".

P1000615
This is a no nonsense bloody awesome juicy, melts in your mouth fanfuckingtastic ginormous burger from a shop called Breko at the Holland Village (thanks lainey!). Forgot to take a picture when the food came and was reminded by my friend to take a picture after I've wolfed down half of it. Bad blogger. Even the coleslaw was yum, like how KFC's coleslaw used to be except BETTER. Only SGD12.50. One of the most satisfying meals I've ever had in Singapore. I was full all day till way past dinnertime.

P1000618
AND.... it's really difficult to not have a soft spot for a shop with a promotion like THAT, don't you think? :)

P1000626
There's also a really cute Japanese bakery at the Holland Village which sells all sorts of Japanese type of bread. One bread in particular which caught my eye was this one, melon pan (pan is bun/bread in japanese, btw) because it reminded me of an episode on Yakitate Japan (which I truly enjoyed and reviewed some time back) where the contestants had a melon pan baking challenge and the buns looked almost like this! Man, the stuff they had in there ALL looked delicious but I was so stuffed by the burger (and 2 bottles of Asahi) that I couldn't bring myself to buy or eat anymore food. Sinfully tempting or not. Burp.

P1000629
My friend took me to a street called.... chicbob (shit I terforgot the name, will edit this once I find out the proper name) where there's an entire row of pretty looking quaint shops selling all sorts of stuff - I have to take pictures to show them to you because I'm not that good with words at 1.40am on a Monday morning. There was a shop which sold all sorts of baking ingredients and tools, where I stumbled upon this beauty for only SGD 5.95. I can't possibly describe how happy I was to have FOUND this drink mixer tumbler thingy in the open by ACCIDENT. WILLING for me to buy it. I think I'll christen it at somebody's new year's eve party. :)

So tired d, I'm going to bed but I will end this post with a rant or two:

Post Xmas crowd here was just bloody STUPID. The ENTIRE country was out walking about on Orchard. ENTIRE COUNTRY. I thought normal weekend crowds were bad, how wrong I was. Last friday was like HELL. Like fire burning everywhere, pitch forks, lava pools, air choked by burning fumes type of HELL. People were everyfuckingwhere. Queueing for EVERYTHING. Too. Many. People. Too many doesn't even BEGIN to describe the amount of people there were on the streets, in the buildings, at bus stops, in cars. The feeling you get when you're in the middle of a crowd this fucked up is akin to being stuck in a tiny cave where you have no room to do anything except to crawl on all fours AND that cave gets SMALLER. Shopping crowds is officially at the TOP of my THINGS I HATE VERY MUCH IN SINGAPORE list. ARGHHHH HULKSMASH THEM ALL.

And one more rant, or rather, I'd like to have your thought on this - My mum and I were at M&S on Friday afternoon to buy something, and we were lining up to pay. There was someone else at the counter already, so we were next. There was also another line at a seperate counter on our left with 2 lining up customers. They were all there before we were queuing. After the lady in front of us was done we advanced towards the counter to pay. Suddenly on our left, somebody said out loud "SCUSE ME. I WAS IN QUEUE". It was the other person from the other queue. Mum and I let her go first - too shocked, too weirded out, and can't be bothered to make a scene on Boxing day. After that fugly bitch was done with her load of shopping (which I observed were a number inner wear items nobody will EVER see unless they subscribe to fetish porn sites no doubt) we proceeded to pay. We left M&S with a bitter taste in out mouths, and a little bit more aninmosity towards the local people and its kiasu/kiasi culture.

Ladies and gents, I'd love to know what you have to say on a couple of things - 1) Who was in the right 2)What would you have done.

Goodnight.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Can U Guess What This Is About?

First, guess which brand owns which tagline? No prizes for guessing correctly, though.

so much is possible
power in your hands
different plans for different people
talk is still cheap
U call the shots
Got [ U ] got it all
let's talk puas puas

Now think about what's the first thing that comes to your mind? For me it's:
so much is possible - you might let me to do anything
power in your hands - you allow me to do anything
different plans for different people - you pre-tailormake things for me
talk is still cheap - it's cheap!
U call the shots - i choose what i want
Got [ ] got it all - you are basically everything
let's talk puas puas - it's cheap!

So purely based on taglines I have these options:
1. cheap
2. i can choose what i want
3. you tell me what I can want

As the average self-centred consumer who wants nothing but instant gratification - I'd go for the option which is cheap and/or lets me choose whatever I want.

Well, if I wanted a mobile option, the cheap tagline product isn't exactly mobile enough for me to carry it around in my pocket.

So that leaves me with the product that lets me choose what I want.

Which leaves me with *jengjeng* U Mobile.

Have you been catching their ads? What? Haven't seen it? No way!

It's not very easy to miss (or forget) that ad with the guy asking for 5 grapes… or the girl who asked for henna on 2 fingers… or the fella who wanted teh tarik setengah glass… and especially the one where there people are walking around with 20 hats on their heads… So basically it says that you don’t have to buy a full glass of the tarik because you’re only half thirsty. And pay for only what you need.

Yup. All pretty catchy U Mobile ads.

I guess it's too easy to guess what are they selling, unless you're trying really hard to be a wiseass. Or unless you're really THAT blur … okok I'll be nice and offer you a hint. It starts with a "3” …..

….and ends with the letters "G service providers".

What's the biggest difference between them and any other telco provides? U Mobile charges you by THE SECOND instead of the usual 30-60 second blocks which we are all so used to. Any less frillier and you'll have to carry around a landlinephone. And it isn't easy to find matching accessories for that, I tell ya. HEhe.

I learnt this in uni last time. Anything that is FREE is GOOD!!! The good thing about U-Mobile is that…. You can call your other U-Mobile friends for free! Free things rock my socks off! So now I can call Yee Hou for free, until 31st March because I told him how good U-Mobile is and he signed up. Go call him, 018-888-8888 kthxbai

You can also download demo games and caller ringtones free of charge. Tetris here I come!! No more boring bus rides, queues in the bank!! Offer valid till 31st December only if not I would have downloaded kau kau *sulks*

So go check out their official website at u.com.my if you'd like more details on their products and services.

Of course here’s another reason to sign up, you’ll get 10 SMSes for every RM10 you spend, and another 10 more thrown in if you hit RM100.

Go go go!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!

Xmascollage

....and for those who don't celebrate Xmas, happy holidays!

Can't believe I'm missing the Christmas (eve) party of the YEAR. AGAIN! :(

Oh well, have a merry holiday, folks. :)

mesantahat

Yum seng!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Costume Parties.

I love parties. Especially if decent free booze is provided.

Costume parties could be fun too.

Especially if they provide decent free booze.

There's some party happening tonight and I'm supposed to dress up according to my assigned alphabet.

But being the poor corporate slave that I am, I have nothing to wear and no money to spend!!!

How ah. How to come up with a costume with NO BUDGET?

Had the initial idea of going as a Starbucks Barrista. So went to an actual Starbucks outlet to ask if I could borrow an apron for the night. "no" they said. "company policy". Fine, stingy pokers. Give you free marketing at a blogger party where there will definitely be tonnes of free exposure because every other blogger has a camera, and every single blogger has a blog, also you don't want. What to do? I will not five up! I will try to go through proper channels the next time, should there be a next time. I would even volunteer to take up classes if they needed me to. Oops. I shouldn't have blogged this out loud. Now other smart alecs are going to try and steal my idea. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN IF YOU DO.

So, a little dissapointed, Plan B had me running around Orchard Road for an hour to acquire props for my costume.

Wanna try guessing what I'm going as?

P1000528

See you there. :)

Answer: I went as a Shopaholic (assigned alphabet was S- that's why the Starbucks barrista), but the shopping bags were empty. I wished they weren't though. :(

Friday, December 19, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Love Vs Conjoined Twin

Not being able to tear yourself away from your partner in the MRT even when the train is almost empty is NOT a declaration of everlasting love, eternal loyalty and everything romantic.

It's being a conjoined twin.

And fucking vomit inducing.

And bloody irritating.

Grow your own spine for fuck sakes and have some sympathy for the poor fellow.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Rain Rain Go Away

Come again some other day!

I'm stuck! In my apartment! I was supposed to go out 2 hours ago! But NO. I am stuck in. Bloody rain. I had PLANS to check out Chinatown today... and it had to RAIN. What's worse is that it looks like it's the rain which will last the whole freaking day. What a bummer.

sad

Guess there's nothing left to do except laundry, watch tv and blog.

OR....

I could give the sky a big FUCK YOU go out ANYWAY. Because rain = less people = less elbows = less claustrophobia = more personal space on sidewalks!

It's really horrible to go out during the weekend. I know I've said this before, but you really have to be here. It's really, really traumatic going out there to find yourself wrestling with the ENTIRE COUNTRY on the sidewalks. It's chaotic like you're stuck in a war torn country and there aretanks, soldiers, bullets and shrapnels zipping this way and that everyfuckingwhere, except instead of all that it's a whole sea of people BENT on shopping. It's CRAZY. And fucking STRESSFUL. Something normal people who just want a relaxing weekend after being stuck all week at work NOT want to do. It's no wonder people just want to stay at home and rot their brains in front of the tv and facebook all day.

So. Screw the bad weather. I'm heading out ANYWAY.

Wish me luck!

Dinner

The meat THE MEAT OMG LOOK AT IT ALL COVERED IN CREAMY MUSHROOM SAUCE MMMmmMMMmMmMMMmm

yum

Thanks Pinky! It was yummy!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Never Seen In Malaysia

Or ever will be seen, in fact.

Check out what I saw at Watson's here the other day. I was so excited and like a complete jakun from Malaysia, I went back to the store armed with my trusty new CAMERA. Hahah damn bloggers. But no, I'm doing it for YOU. YOU. SHARING IS CARING. I HAD TO SHARE AND SHOW YOU ALL because we will never EVER see this in Malaysia's Watson's stores. I swear it on my pinky!

I have leave it to you imagination what people actually DO with these things. The damn instruction manuals are IN the packaging.

The products are right THERE. like among the family planning stuff. THERE. LIKE it's.. candy or tissue or something. Not even behind the cashier or something less open. It's THERE. IN YOUR FACE. FREE for you to buy it should you ever have the urgency to.

never seen in Malaysia
This looks like a ring.

never seen in Malaysia1
This looks like a fake fingernail which the empress dowagers wear back in the day when men wore dresses and pigtails.

never seen in Malaysia2
And this actually looks like a bottle opener.

Your turn.

Edited: Looks like I'm the only jakun one who hasn't seen it. Boody hell.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A Door WHAT?

I hope I never get too old for juvenile humour.

Was so tickled when I saw this sign.

door what

Guess where I saw this?

On a Bus.

In Singapore.

What the hell is that? I Googled for it and all I got was this:

define

I'm sure that wasn't what it was..... or was it?!?!?!?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Eavesdropped

So I was in the MRT today (oh I'm back in Singapore! Ah Seng can I please sample some of your brew pls thanks!).. and I overheard a conversation between 3 tourists. 2 asian girls, 1 angmoh. One of the asian girls spoke with the same heavy accent as the angmoh. The other Asian girl I think, IS actually from asia.

So from the conversation, I could kinda gauge that one of the girls (guess which one? no prizes) had just gotten a call from her boss. And she was, at the moment, 1) very worried about work or 2) upset that she got shelling from her boss. Either way, her facial expression wasn't a happy one.

Throughout the whole time I was there, the other 2 whiter folks was explaining to her about how that she's in a holiday she should 1) switch of her phone and 2) not read any emails. It's her holiday damnit, she should not be working on her holiday. Otherwise what's the point of having a holiday if she is still going to be worrying about work? The whole time they were talking, I could see that this girl (with the work issue) was stoning, looking worried, and accommodating to their views.

I thought to myself, lucky white folks who don't know any better. If the girl did all that she'd probably get her ass fired faster than she can say "I'm on a holiday, bitches, so leave me the fuck alone".

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Vote for Nicol David!!!

Malaysia Boleh moment, please bear with me.

ESPN actually shortlisted our very own Nicol David to contend for The Sports Personality of the year!
Just in case you think it's some kinda lame, low rated shit, check out the names of other superstars who were also shorlisted:

Cristiano Ronaldo
Lewis Hamilton
Kobe Bryant
Tiger Woods
Michael Phelps
Valentino Rossi ....and a few others!

Here's the full list and write-up: CLICK!

Here's the game page : CLICK!

.. and here's where you actually do the voting: Click! (you can actually see the results right after you vote!)

Nicol's match is up now!!!!!!!

You HAVE to vote for her now come on come on!!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Twilight

twilight-movie-poster

Oh god. Not another teen something or other story.
Oh, it's a love story of a tortures 400 teen vampire is it?
How fucking original.
My RL Stine phase was like 20 years ago lah.

I told myself I would never ever ever read the damn book.
But now I find myself watching the damn movie.
Nonononono!!!!! I didn't pay to watch this I swear it was free!
(Thanks DavidLian & Suanie!!!)

Seriously, what is up with the lead actor? He is FUGLY.
I couldn't get over how bloody ugly he was.
He is so fugly he makes fugly people look like contestants in a beauty pageant.
He is so fugly, there is no word in the english language that even describes his whole new type of ugly.
Ugly as ass.
Worse than ass.
Ugly as warts on a toad.
No, uglier.
Uglier than a thousand buckets of alien vomit after a hardcore drunken night out on alien booze.
No, uglier than THAT.
He looks like a corpse that's been dead for a hundred years.
Oh wait, that's the point right?
Argh, you get my point.
He is just UGLY.

And it's not as if he had any on screen charisma.
Fucker walks like his balls are as big as a durian.
Or has durian for balls.
Which explains why he had to kangkang so besar besar... scared the legs terkena the thorns from his balls.
Wahkakakka.

Mygod, Robert Pattinson fans are so kinda burn me on a stake for this.
Sorry ar, one girl's meat another girl's sewage lah.
Feel free to make fun of the men I think are hot.
... like Peter Facinelli and Cam Gigandet... oooooh.

Oh what about the movie ar? Well, I went in knowing that it's going to be some cheesy, juvenile harry potter version of a vampire movie so you could say that I went in with negative expectations.

But at the end of the day, I find myself not hating this movie.

I can't believe it either.

Despite the plastic acting, corny lines, the fugly lead actor, even the 2 minute cheesy scenes from the karaoke mtv clip flashback moment.

I didn't hate it. :(

Ashamed and speechless? Me too.

Maybe I didn't hate it because it was free? Probably.
But how do you explain the fact that I actually WANT to read the book now? HUH HUH?
I've got no explanations for that. :(

Sigh. Next thing you know I'm wanting to watch The Disaster Movie.
Should that ever happens please feel free to stab me in the chest with the nearest sharp instrument you can find.
Please.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

THE SKY IS SMILING!!!

If you are in the Klang Valley, get out now and look up into the sky!!!

It looks like a smiley face!!!

The moon is in a crescent shape and it makes the smile and there's 2 twinkling thingies on top of it which is probably some star or planet or the ISS station.

LOOK OUT NOW NOW NOW!!!

It looks like this ---> :)

ARGH I wish i had my spanking new camera now to take it But I don't! GRRR.

TAKE PICTURES PLEASE THANKS!!!