Important Survey - For the Benefit of Mankind.

Hi boys and girls (all 50 of you) who frequent fireangelism.com with hopes of 1) naked pictures and 2) really awesome blog content and are constantly disappointed with the lack of both but still come back here time and time again because let's face it, in the real world with no happy endings, everybody's a sucker for pain and misery.

Even though you know that I'll never reciprocate in any way, let me implore you to dig deep within that generous heart of yours to spare me less than a minute to answer the following:

Girls:
Unless you weren't naturally born a girl - you have to have gone through SOME sort of PMS. Tell me 1) what sort of specific crazy extreme emotional shit do you go through during this point of time AND 2) what does YOUR guy (Husband. No husband? Boyfriend. No boyfriend? Guy friends and colleagues) do to make things better (and if not better, how does he manage to make it worse).

Guys:
What do you do or have done, for your girl when she has emotionally turned into psychotic blood thirsty Mr. Hyde? Your girl means your wife. No wife? Girlfriend. No girlfriend? Colleague or a pal. Etc. I'll need you to be specific. To "layan her" (transl: give into her irrationalities) is not being specific.

Okay I answer first.
Q1: Everything that didn't seem to bug me before seems to bug me A LOT when I'm on PMS. I take everything personally. Then I'll snap at everybody. Pick a fight. Refuse to understand. Hate the world and how it works with all its unfairness (I normally already hate the world but the feeling is now intensified by a gajillion times). Cry. Feel depressed. Feel alone. Enter into self-pity mode. Already tiny self-esteem gets crushed into nothing.
Q2: Layan a bit. Then try and fix my issues by dispensing advises and lectures - which never fail to piss me even further. Then, when all else fails, head for the hills until the coast is clear. Then I'll go ply myself in alcohol and hate all men even more.

Let us all compare notes. It'll be very interesting to see what everybody's (especially girls) experiences are like, and how similar it is.

Doesn't it frustrate you when
a) you're a girl and guys just don't understand what the fuck is going on with you and how to deal with it?
b) you're a guy and you just don't understand what the fuck is going on with her and how to deal with it?

Yeah me too.

The universe should come up with a general guidebook on how to deal with this shit - just to make life a little bit easier to live in. Maybe there'll be less wars. And famine. Or something.

Happy Monday. Thursday is worth looking forward to because it's a HOLIDAY! GO CRAZYY!!

Movie Review - Enchanted

I know this movie is so last year (haha), but I must share my feelings!!!

I cringed and cringed and couldn't stop cringing until it ended. Bloody hell this was a full-force in your face revenge of the musical Disney cartoons complete with sing-a-longs and synchronised group dancing TO YOUR DEATH! Everybody knows the words to the songs! Everybody knows the dance steps! Cockroaches clean your house! The one you love sings to you! What's up with the real life lead actress? Her cartoon character was like 100000000000 times hotter than her real life counterpart! It really bugged me throughout the movie, like a splinter in my head. Even the other girl character too. What's up with her FACE man? Felt really irritated looking at their freaky faces. SLAP!!! What's up with all the guys (as in MALES) who have watched this and said this movie was OKAY? Euw. I can't believe I willingly paid RM10 bucks to watch this fucking corny bullshit. I even tried really hard to give in to my feminine flower plucking animal cuddling self to WANT to enjoy this peacefully - but the total bitch in me refused. to. stop. cringing. SLAP!!! Then again, ANYTHING is better than Norbit. Or Barnyard. Or Epic Movie. Name me any bad English movie of the year 2007 and I would've probably caught it - not by choice mind you. _koff_

Lamest Shit I've Ever Heard.

"My biggest mistake was that I stayed in the hotel and in the same room for convenience. Next time, when you stay in a hotel, good luck to you."

Because it was haunted and made his "personal friend" trip over him but through some amazing stroke of luck her mouth happened to land on his dick. Then later on, because he's just this old and aging man who is unsteady on his feet, HE tripped as well and HIS dick had fortunately landed IN her. In continuous succession. Yup. He had absolutely NO idea what was going on in the room. Sex? No it wasn't sex. How can it be sex? It was all a huge accident! Can't a simple horny married man with children these days just screw their "personal friends" in dodgy hotel rooms in peace anymore? Oops, I mean, accidentally fuck their room mates?

Go FUCK yourself Health Minister. Shameless Asshole. Just shut the fuck up and go the fuck away.

Happy Brand Spanking New Year!

Sorry ah... AWOL for so long. Body was on a holiday so the brain was incubated.

Didn't go anywhere this time. Spend a lot of time doing absolutely nothing. And it was GREAT.

But cilaka have to get sick towards the end of my break. Now coughing like mad. :(((((

Coming back to work after almost 2 weeks of leave is not a great feeling. Dreaded waking up. Dreaded the morning cold. Dreaded the morning traffic. Dreaded the driving to work. Dreaded the impending workpile. Dreaded the Inbox. :(

Argh.

I didn't even consume a drop of alcohol.

... this situation will be corrected by the end of the week.

Celebrated Xmas at KY's. If you weren't there, you were square! (haha)

Argh. The office is still so empty.

Thank goodness it's already a Wednesday.

Man, I didn't even attempt to come up with resolutions. Don't know if it's just me, but it doesn't feel like a new year yet. Everthing feels old. There's no renewed vigour towards... well anything.

I don't even feel like blogging anymore.

zzzzz....

It's probably just the holiday hangover talking.

Welcome back all you corporate drones who just got back to work today.

How was your Xmas and New Year celebrations? Share!

The Warlords

ZOMG! ANDY! JET LI! TAKESHI! HOW TO PASS? CANNOT PASS! DEFINITELY NO PASSING THE YEAR WITHOUT WATCHING THIS MOVIE! I'm already giving it 3 stars (out of five) just based on the cast-list alone (Andy! Jet Li! Takeshi! ZOMG!). Actually, the pessimist in me said "All-star cast, bound to fuck up. Look at all the other Hollywood movies.".. but the optimist retorted with a "THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE LAH IDIOT". The optimist was right! It was good! IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD that Good isn't nearly enough to describe just how GOOD it was! Pay NO attention to the bullshit synopsis you read off Wikipedia's or GSC's website because it is ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. This is a fucking bloodthirsty WAR MOVIE which could FUCK YOU UP, and definitely NOT another stupid arty crouching Ang Lee tiger flying dagger hero gay romance disguised as a lame kung fu movie. Okay la, got elements of romance but it only takes up about 0.01% of airtime. Flying body parts! Lots of blood! BLOODY! CHOP! STAB! KICK! SHOOT! KILL KILL KILL! KILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! How the hell was this rated a "U"? Wah got emo part also. Wah shit - disturbing lah. Tokkok. Politic-ing. Scheming. Okay, timecheck. WOAH the soundtrack and the cinematography was so fantastic it could make a grown man so overwhelmed with complicated emotions, he breaks down crying. So. Damn. EPIC!!! Bold for emphasis, just in case you didn't get how EPIC!!! it was. Andy Lau really gets better with age. Jet Li got chubby but homeboy can still kick your ass and your mother's! Takeshi was a little too clean cut boyish good looking to fit - but I am So. NOT. Complaining. Unfortunately, the girl wasn't pretty at all - but WHO CARES SHE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

Disturbing, a teeny tiny bit draggy (Chinese serious movies tend to feel like that, IMHO), but great. A must watch.

Start the year with a good war movie. End the year with another good one. YEAY!

I Am Legend

I didn't read the book. So I didn't have the faintest clue what to expect from it. All I had was the trailer and it told me that Will Smith was the last man on earth, which faintly smells like "Castaway" IMHO. Yeah I know he isn't alone - he had a dog. Besides, how bad can a movie be with Will Smith AND a German Shepard in it? I love Will Smith. He rocks. I don't like ALL the movies he's been at, been in every movie he was in, he was good. Wah Luckily somebody spoiled the movie for me already so I was already expecting the er, unexpected. Can't go into details what it is but trust me, the first thought that may go through your mind AND your mouth out loud is "WHAT THE FUCK!!!?!?!?!?!" EH! Why is there a poster with the Superman & Batman logo merged together? WAH easter egg! For me, the pace of the movie a bit off. Beginning felt VERY LONG. Middle still felt like the beginning. Then when the end came... eh? Sudah habis cerita? Potong stim lah, all the slow ass build up towards it and THAT'S IT? SO SIMPLE? NO. SERIOUSLY. SOMETHING IS GONNA HAPPEN AFTER THIS RIGHT? WHAT??? THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING ALREADY? Mahai. Fucking anti-climax only. But watch it anyway because like very good wine, Mr Smith just gets better with age. And still bloody hot too.

AND I still have yet the watch Enchanted. :(

Tempted to catch The Golden Compass (I didn't read the book, so should be okay right, Eyeris?)

National Treasure 2? I dunno.. 1 wasn't that great, and pretty much forgettable.

I want to watch Warlords also. JET LI! TAKESHI! ANDY LAU! And have I mentioned, TAKESHI? TAKESHI! _drool_

OMG THE DARK KNIGHT! Actually the Joker is getting so much attention now it's more like THE JOKER. Poor Batman playing bridesmaid in his own movie. But that's only because Christian Bale has nothing to prove - except maybe how he'll manage to look as tall as, or taller than Heath Ledger, kekeke.

Have A Couple of Questions For All You Car Enthusiasts.

1. Why does the damn Myvi 1.3 auto guzzle so much petrol? I spend like 50 bucks in LESS than a week basically just driving back and forth work... and making pit stops at surrounding mega malls for a bite or kaikai.

2. Is there a way to make the car guzzle LESS petrol? I heard something about changing the air filter? That true? Any others?

I need specifics. Am a complete noob with car-ry jargons and lingos.

Thank you!

P/s: Yes, am guilty of speeding. The myvi IS knows to be draggy when changing gears, right? So stepping on it won't make it any better yeah?

My Chemical Romance Concert

I WAS THERE! (whoo hoo!)

THE RED AREA! RIGHT AT THE FRONT! (yeay!)

WITH THE SCREAMING SHOVING CRAZY KIDS! (bloody kids.)

AND THE RAIN! (bloody nonstop rain.)

WITH GERARD SCREAMING SHIT LIKE "I AM SORRY, MCR COULDN'T MAKE IT TODAY, BUT WE'RE THE AMERICAN SEX BOYS REPLACING THEM! I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT!" (with all that screaming, it sounded like the crowd were very fine with that)

AND GYRATING HIS HIPS LIKE A STRIPPER! (_drool drool drool_)

AND THE PIANIST IS AWESOME. (even when I was half deaf)

AND THE LEAD GUITARIST IS KINDA CUTE! (in the dark)

IT WAS QUITE AWESOME! (but not the Qing up and waiting for 45 minutes before they fucking showed up on stage)

WHO WANTS TO TOUCH ME!

I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!

(Damn, my body aches. Getting too old for this shit)

Thanks Eyeris! You rock my socks!!!! Remember yeah! I'm booking tickets for The Dark Knight next year!!!!!!!! :)

Don't Do This.

I was at the club last Friday celebrating a friend's last few days of freedom as a bachelor (hahahaha).

So I though, let's experiment. I'll refrain from indulging myself - because I got flat out wasted the weekend before and the trauma was still too fresh in my mind. I'll stay sober, I thoughtl Might be fun to see what's THAT like.

When I first started out clubbing (I was what? 23?), I barely drank. It was like ALL dancing, and ALL coke. Whiskey and vodka tasted like shit to me. I got high on oxygen and the fumes of drunken people around me.

Then I started drinking bit by bit. One sip there. One chug here. In time, I became like everybody else - I'm drinking as much as if not more than I dance. One step further, I'm getting drunk. Another level up, I'm puking once I reach home. Another, I'm puking in the toilet of the club. Finally - I drink till I pass out at random places.

Every time I do that, the whole passing out thing, remorse inevitably follows. And I'm thinking to myself "Mygod I'm 27 can't even hold my drinks WTF happened last night anyway shit I shouldn't do this anymore ohmygod this is bad the ground is moving argh my stomach hurts no more this is the last time". Before I know it I'm back in the club, chugging at everything that's stuffed at my face faster than you can say "mahatma ghandi".

So that night I drank minimum, and by the end of the night I'm only drinking Coke. I realise that I see and feel things so differently when I'm not imbibed, it made me wonder omg, just how much does drinking contributes to the amount of fun once has? Everybody around me is drinking, laughing, making friends with strangers, drinking some more, breaking glasses, spilling drinks, drinking some more, talking inaudibly, smiling, flirting, dancing like a brazen whore, hooking up - all those drunk happy faces! My god!

And there I was, sitting down, watching everybody, sober as mahatma ghandi - feeling downright BORED, bitching in my head about the bloody overplayed songs (UMBRELLA? FUCK YOU MR DJ), about the smoke getting into my eyes, smoke suffocating me, the damn whiskey being so bitter, and what is it so fucking dark? wtf people puking everywhere, watching other people "trying" to dance and wondering if I looked like THAT when I'm drunkdancing, and if I did then maybe I should NEVER drink again, and omg the toilet is so fucking disgusting wtf are they doing puking on the walls, oh god no more whiskey for me that shit's disgusting, please don't make me dance the songs suck, no no don't touch me like that - I don't know you that well omg stay away please.

Needless to say, I didn't quite enjoyed myself as much as I would've liked.

Being sober at a party sucks.

I'm NEVER doing this again.

My Mini Reviews.

Copying Eyeris's style of not a review review, but not quite. My review's format is going to be more like "spit everything out from my head right at the moment I'm typing it" sort. Short and sweet posts are good right? Yes, and so are updates.

Stardust
I have read the book and I kinda liked it. I have watched the movie and I liked it even MORE than the book! Movie was not exactly like the book, but it is so damn adorable you'll leave the theatre (only after the movie of course) with a goofy smile on your face and a warm feeling in your tummy. The cast was right, the scenes were right, the lines were right, the storytelling was right. The lead guy was damn lovable in a puppy-eyed sort of way. I did feel that somebody a bit more ethereal than Claire Danes should take her role, but I can't think of any names. Definitely NOT Kirsten Dunst, though. And Cate Blanchett's too old. Somebody younger. Easily one of my favourite movie of the year (tied top spot with 300!). It didn't try too hard to tell you a story, it just TOLD you the story - something which a lot of movies these days try too hard to do but just can't seem to get it right. Stardust got it just right.

Hitman
Lead character looks cool until he starts to speak. The way he lifelessly stares into the screen, right at me, as he swiftly disembowels yet another victim just makes me want to take him home and.... I can't freaking believe he was that floppy wristed disjointed hipped gay bad guy from Die Hard 4.0. Until he opens his yap, then try as hard as I can I just could NOT forget that he IS that floppy wristed disjointed hipped gay bad guy from Die Hard 4.0, which totally loses that bad-boy-sex-appeal. The girl is kind of goth hot but is totally pointless and is only there to spice it up with some sex, which we can see NONE of. Nobody can act for shit.The script murders IQ. The plot was... WHAT PLOT? Save money, play the damn game. Don't bother watching it.

I'm not even going to catch Beowulf - because watching fake Angelina Jolie on screen just doesn't it do it for me. But I might try to catch the Enchanted - because somebody told me that *I* would like it. Apparently this somebody reads my blog and KNOW that I'm an ANGRY, BITTER baby eating machine and YET this person thinks I might like it. If he is wrong, his first newborn I shall consume. You know who you are, so be afraid, because I KNOW where you live. Muahahahahaha!