Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Warlords

warlords-poster-07

ZOMG! ANDY! JET LI! TAKESHI! HOW TO PASS? CANNOT PASS! DEFINITELY NO PASSING THE YEAR WITHOUT WATCHING THIS MOVIE! I'm already giving it 3 stars (out of five) just based on the cast-list alone (Andy! Jet Li! Takeshi! ZOMG!). Actually, the pessimist in me said "All-star cast, bound to fuck up. Look at all the other Hollywood movies.".. but the optimist retorted with a "THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE LAH IDIOT". The optimist was right! It was good! IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD that Good isn't nearly enough to describe just how GOOD it was! Pay NO attention to the bullshit synopsis you read off Wikipedia's or GSC's website because it is ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. This is a fucking bloodthirsty WAR MOVIE which could FUCK YOU UP, and definitely NOT another stupid arty crouching Ang Lee tiger flying dagger hero gay romance disguised as a lame kung fu movie. Okay la, got elements of romance but it only takes up about 0.01% of airtime. Flying body parts! Lots of blood! BLOODY! CHOP! STAB! KICK! SHOOT! KILL KILL KILL! KILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! How the hell was this rated a "U"? Wah got emo part also. Wah shit - disturbing lah. Tokkok. Politic-ing. Scheming. Okay, timecheck. WOAH the soundtrack and the cinematography was so fantastic it could make a grown man so overwhelmed with complicated emotions, he breaks down crying. So. Damn. EPIC!!! Bold for emphasis, just in case you didn't get how EPIC!!! it was. Andy Lau really gets better with age. Jet Li got chubby but homeboy can still kick your ass and your mother's! Takeshi was a little too clean cut boyish good looking to fit - but I am So. NOT. Complaining. Unfortunately, the girl wasn't pretty at all - but WHO CARES SHE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

Disturbing, a teeny tiny bit draggy (Chinese serious movies tend to feel like that, IMHO), but great. A must watch.

Start the year with a good war movie. End the year with another good one. YEAY!

22 comments:

  1. Hey, no picking on Crouching Tiger Flying Dagger Hero. I own them on DVD!!!! I liked them.

    FA: Thats great! You are the target audience of the film anyway! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's like 300, but more realistic, and in Chinese. ahaha.
    It's like my Movie-Not-Reviews, but without paragraphs. ahaha.

    FA: Yar! I said so on the first review! Copying your style lah! Kekeke. Faster write a review so I can link to you post lah cheebai.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @dabido- Hero was good. CTHD, not bad. Flying Daggers, no way.

    FA: OI. CTHD WAS TEH SUX. In order of pref, Daggers (promising beginning, Takeshi is hot), Hero (Jet Li kicks ass)... and CTHD can go to hell. But seriously, it's hard to compare one type of shit with another - all pretty awful and painful to me

    ReplyDelete
  4. si beh syok

    the poster looks great leh !

    sure kena ban wan :op

    ReplyDelete
  5. DONE! :http://eyeris.blogspot.com/2007/12/warlords-tonight-we-dine-in-nanking.html

    ReplyDelete
  6. FA - Thnx. Then I will like it. :-)

    Dr Tan - Well, I liked them. You don't have to. We will agree to disagree. Not all Chinese movies available in Aussie, I have to run with what is available. [I mean, they do sell some, but if it hasn't got subtitles, I can't watch it]. Cinematography in HOFD's I thought was great.
    I also own Curse of the Golden Flower and am hoping to get Infernal Affairs for Xmas. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. you are such a sucker for violence... I think the plot ws great, compared to previous shows like the banquet, the promise (yucks) and of course, the all-star show, curse of the golden something..lol.

    Of course, the plot did have its flaws... why couldnt they just rob the back-up army(which was doing nothing) of its food instead borrowing 10 days food and making a deal of giving them 1/2 the would-be conquered city? (For the intellect)

    ReplyDelete
  8. What war movie we started the year with?

    ReplyDelete
  9. LOL Fire Angel. You really kick ass. I loved the show too just that the end is a little too draggy imo. Tsk Tsk. =D

    ReplyDelete
  10. yes, i agree all the actions and stuffs and blood and stuffs and man-tao and stuffs and horses and stuffs and bodies and stuffs are superfuckingabsolutelynocomparisongreat!

    however, i still dun freaking understand why they bother putting the girl in... just to confuse that naive takeshi kaneshiro?

    anyway, yeah, not a bad way to end the year!

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Irony...

    You dis all the 'Ang Lee tiger flying dagger hero gay romance', yet lap up all the 'Richard Curtis 4 Weddings Love Actually Notting Hill..' claptrap :P

    I guess the lesson is one culture's rubbish is another's art.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have decide to watch this movie since u said its such a fucking good movie. I tell u, this golden compass is shit. Dont watch it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. watched it last week, absolutely loved it! The emotions being shown are so.. can't find the word for it! But towards the end, felt a little slow because no more fighting to keep the testosterone going :D

    ReplyDelete
  14. I watched that movie and i think the storyline's a bit convoluted. It should be directed by Ang Lee.

    ReplyDelete
  15. oOo.. got leng chye takeshi! but i haven't watch...

    ReplyDelete
  16. how can it be "U" when u have nipple displaying around the scence??

    ReplyDelete
  17. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yep, it was good - my fav Chinese show of the year. The fighting scenes awesome and the plot engrossing. only that the guys a bit too emo. So much crying from the three macho brothers? but must give it to them esp Jet Li with the emo acting.. ;)

    Now i can't wait for CJ7 - Chow Sing Chi is da best!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. [...] and I didn’t really like that either. But at least you made it up for all of that in The Warlords, which also happens to be one of my favourite movies of 2007. But I felt that it still wasn’t [...]

    ReplyDelete
  20. A collection of the funniest, most amazing and exciting YouTube video clips selected especially for You - have a great fun!

    ReplyDelete

I disclaim all comments.