Monday, October 27, 2008

Day 09 & 10: Mos, Brewerks, Clark Quay, Friends, & Shopping

I wanted to try Mos burger on Friday but the damn shop was closed. Closed at 8.30pm!!!! A bit too early right! -_-" This means that I still haven't tasted the damn burger yet. It's being very elusive!!! GRrr. Saya pantang dicabar!!!!

I had the most awesome Subway Melts for lunch. REAL. PIG. BACON. = HEAVEN. I almost died. Almost. Then was brought back to earth by the saltiness of the ham which kinda killed the mindblowing out of the world bacon experience for me.

So I was at Brewerks yesterday and the beer is still pretty awesome. Was there to just chill, read my book and have a couple of beers. It's such a nice place to be at. The singapore river just on my right and the view of the refurbished pre-war buildings of clark quay right next to it. A long time blog stalker came by to say hi. We had an awesome conversation but he had to rush off earlier. He seems very normal in person, so I was glad for the company. Hehehe I know you're reading this so hi! After paying for the pint and a mug later (no service charge! woot! is it the norm to leave tips? uh oh being the cheap malaysian I didn't leave much kekeke.) to take a quick stroll around Clark Quay.

Did you know that in Clark Quay they have these giant steel structures which act as shades for the surrounding area? What I want to know is this - why hasn't anyone noticed that these giant steel structures look like ginormous steel DICKS? At a certain angle it even look like it has a couple of balls. GIANT PENISES. BIG BIG DICKS. At least 10 of them were completely surrounding the area. And NO ONE even thought that those phallic steel things looked like DICKS? Highly fucking impossible. If you have never seen them, you must go there right NOW. Have a look and tell me that those don't look like penises to you! I refuse to believe that my mind is the only one that's fucked up. Hell, you don't even need a fucked up mind to know that those things look like giant penises. THEY ARE SO IN YOUR FACE.

Clark Quay looks like a nicer and a combination of Bangsar One/Asian Heritage Row/The Curve. Plenty of boutique restaurants and classy drinking joints - very touristy. There's even a Hooters.... which isn't that great because the girls who work there don't have the assets which Hooters are very well known for. But they do wear the really short corny tight shorts, at least.

Today, I spent half the day with my high school mate who has been here for 10 years which practically makes her Singaporean (hehehe don't kill me ar). We walked and walked and walked... and I wasn't sure where we went exactly but we did end up in the National Musuem (?). There wasn't much to see and I was too cheap to pay for admission for the more interesting exhibitions. The musuem did look really pretty though. A lot of thought was put into making it really artsy and nice. Which was such a waste because inside, there really wasn't much going on. Makes me wonder how museums from other countries are REALLY like. Our own national musuem sucks ass, as far as I can remember. But I've only been there once, which was 16 years back, haha.

It's so easy to walk around here. It's probably due to the general cleanliness of the place. Less traffic. Less smog. Less dirt. It's And the fact that it was relatively cool, cloudy day, helped a lot too. My friend and I had a long chat about everything, and it was really nice because we haven't really chatted in a long time. Been awhile since I've met up and hung out with any of my old school friends.

We walked pass many tiny little boutiques and came across a shop that had a bazaar going on. Scored myself a really gorgeous body hugging long, black cheongsam for an amazing price of SGD10. EVen after conversion it was a steal. Couldn't believe that it was so cheap so spent a long time trying to look for flaws on it. Nothing!! Bought it and left happy. :)

So we popped by Funan Digital Mall. It looks like cleaner, brighter, more organised version of Imbi. But like Imbi, you just can't run away from the damned overplayed fengtau songs blasting from sound systems everywhere, argh killmenow. We checked out the apple shop..... is 600 Sing for an Ipod touch cheap ar? :P We stopped by this shop which was apparently a favourite among the locals - Soong brothers? The salesguy was really trying to push the Panasonic Lumix FS5 camera to me. SGD 548 worth it or not? He'd throw in an 8gb extra memory, extra batt and some useless mini tripod. I checked on the Panasonic Malaysia retail that it should retail for only RM1099 something. If that's really the case then I might as well buy it in Msia!!!!! Cis. Tipu me. Berani engkau!

Had the chance to sit in the public bus. Buses here don't emit black smoke, are pretty clean and are aplenty. I even saw a woman driving a bus which was a very rare sight indeed. There are never any woman bus drivers in Malaysia. But of course, at rush hour, it'd be packed like sardines and you'd end up smelling other people's sweat dripping from their armpits and having people violating your personal space, which is a given anywhere. The bus routes and system here actually WORKS. What are they doing right which Malaysia is doing so wrong? We can't keep falling back to the whole "our country is bigger" excuse anymore lah, it's getting really embarassing.

Grabbed a bus to Selegie to meet another friend who owns a comicbook shop in the Peace Centre. Selegie was FILLED with migrant Indian workers. It felt like I was in INDIA. At the corner mamak shop every single table was occupied with Indians. And the Peace Centre? Holy cow. One of the dodgiest buildings I've seen so far in Singapore. Lots of dodgy looking places which I bet is filled with GROs and unlegalised prostitution dens. The place was just reaking with the aura of seediness. Thank god my friend was there, I wouldn't have felt safe being there on my own.... OHMYGOD this means I have finally found a place in Singapore which I don't feel safe in!!!

I had dinner at the Heartlands (FINALLY! THE REAL LOCAL SCENE!).. at some place called Ghimmoh Road, which is apparently the "higher class" HDB area, where we had "tai chow" and lots of beer. Should I really tell you how the food is? Or can you already guess it? BLAND BLAND BLAND. You know what I really hate about food here. It's not that it's bland. It's that it looks exactly like what it looks like back home and even smells like how it smells like back home. So there is already a certain level of expectation that it'll taste like what it tastes like back home. That's the worst bit. When you expect it to be something when it is completely NOT. Because after you had the first taste of the deliciously looking food all your expections crumble down like a pack of cards which got hit by a typhoon. Your heart sinks into your stomach, and your stomach sinks into the ground, and you just feel cheated. Unfulfilled. It's NOT RIGHT TO LEAD SOMEONE ON LIKE THAT. Like a false promise, a tease. You can smell it, see it, but you can't taste it, baby. ARGH. FRUSTRATING LOH. YEARGH HULKRAGE STOMP FOOD!

Cat! I SAW A STRAY CAT! So cute curled up on a chair and sleeping! I guess the authorities didn't kill ALL strays, it missed this one hehehe. Even had the chance to use the toilet here - apart from it being wet, it wasn't an iffy toilet likes the ones we have back in KL which makes you want to vomit the moment you smell a whiff of it. Maybe if I go deeper into the heartland....

My friend did used a word to very appropriately describe everything about Singapore - clinical. Everything in Singapore is just so sanitised and controlled. I have to agree with that.

Fuck it's too damn late. Goodnight!


  1. I demand pictures of your new black cheongsam dress ! Please stop the cruelty against your loyal readers !! >.

    FA: Patience! I NEED to buy a goddamn camera first!!!!! gahgah gah

  2. In my limited experience in shopping for digital cameras in the little red dot I have found them cheaper in MY. Sometimes by a couple hundred Ringgit. So save your money and use it to bolster the Bolehland economy instead of those Kiasu fuckers who try to scalp you at those digital malls in SG. BTW, has anybody ever found out what the fuck those little tripods that they are so eager to give out actually do?

    Clinical, sanitised...homogenised...pasteurised...It's good for WILL like it. Understand??!! I can't wait to see my next TOTALLY SILENT THAIPUSAM PROCESSION next year! Dinch u all know? Happens along Selegie Rd and the Little India area every year. Imagine kavadi carriers and devotees carrying drums and trumpets...ya la just like in Batu Caves...except it's very quiet. Breaking coconuts? What? You siao ah? Want to die issit? Kena summon then how? Clinical...sanitised...errr...repetitive.

    Really ah? I don't think Peace Center is as bad as you described la. I think it is just that compared to other malls here it is OLD. Old building, old style, old shops. Coupled to the fact that there are massage centers and bars in the building. No one tried to get fresh right? LOL...

    FA: Hello patrick!!! Thanks for dinner!!! When is the next outing!!!! :D :D :D

  3. Eh, remember ah, it was I who pointed out those phallic vents to you....


    FA: EHhehe yes it was you!!!

  4. I second honeybunny's request! get the goddamn camera already! hahaha.

    Singapore is the sanitised version of Asia as a whole. Clean, tidy, prim and proper; and absolutely devoid of any character of its own. eheheh.

  5. try orchard towers at night and geylang for a less-sanitised singapore or even go Changi streets. you might get what you are looking for, a less controlled singapore. i guess, being a singaporean, i am kinda used to such "clinical" stability, our city does has its character but you just need to look at the little corners quite invisible to cityscape. we do have stray cats in singapore, most of it in the heartlands though suburbs.... and i dont really trust Sim Lim square.

    i havent been to malaysia in the last few years, i imagined myself being excited over the food and all, i had my fair share of disappointments but golly, i fell in love with some of the oiliest kway teow in KL's chinatown? try maxwell hawker centre, hong lim hawker, amoy street food centre , chomp chomp and the balestiar stretch for bak kut teh where they have this 24 hr food centre that serves pretty decent kway chup. actually Little India has really smashing food joints too but avoid the weekends. serene centre has this quaint french joint la petites which is good for its petite portions and try our local brand Island creamery next door for...hahaha healthy ice-cream (yes singaporeans are boring this way, no full on cream milk!). changi village has got nice ayam penyat and nasi lemak , adam food centre has got the famous Royal Flush nasi set or try Hougang Kovan for the famous nasi lemak , the queues sometimes stretch out onto the roads! try arab street for authentic Middle eastern fare, some names are too exotic for me to recall but Amirah's Grill is a popular joint. go sofrah at shaw brothers beach road for turkish food but their standard has pretty much dropped.

    try coronation plaza stretch. they have this authentic thai food in the area, i only know how to go there sorry but not the exact place but foodies around that area should know.

    and sorry, this is getting too long,

    Little India has this little Nepalese food place served by Nepalese but it's so elusive that only people in the know can bring you there. that should be fun.

  6. I'll take you to the west heartlands. Superb thai beef noodles and rojak! :D

  7. Don't buy electronics and computer items from Singapore. It's cheaper in Malaysia after the conversion. Only worth to get it in Singapore if the item is not found in M'sia. Also, only a few handphone shops sells handphones in Sg. cheaper after conversion and it's at Far East Plaza. Cameras, camcorders, computer stuffs, ipods... all cheaper in M'sia. Only reason to get them in Sg. is for the limited edition items, or those you really can't find in M'sia... Everything else is more expensive in Singapore after the conversion (for electronics and PC stuffs)

  8. ehh.. lu punya handset tarak kamera ke?

    FA: Want a real camera mar

  9. Hello FA,
    Thank you for your expose on Singapore food.I am a Malaysian food nationalist and food snob.I cringe every time someone from Malaysia say they are looking forward to enjoying some Singapore style street food.Your observation that the food looks and even smells like the good stuff from Malaysia but taste like crap is eye opening.Their promotion of Singapore street food is superb and has hijacked the origins of these dishes from Malaysia.Foremost is their claim that chilli crab is the national dish of Singapore! I remember having Singapore chilli crab some 20 years and at that time it was almost inedible.In KL/PJ we started with Chilli crab and the version by Fatty Crab some 20+ years ago.Don't Singaporeans realise that we have since moved on and have come up with literally hundreds of delicious crab dishes like kum heong crab and butter crab etc.The Singaporeans seem to have been stuck in a food time warp with chilli crab.
    Any I seem to be rambling but make no apologies for this rant.
    FA keep up the good work.

  10. No worries. Mos burgers are pretty common in SG. You should be able to taste one soon.

  11. Subway in Singapore is non-halal? Eh, I didn't know, next time must try.

  12. as long as camera jadilahhh
    i wanna see em penis poles! XD

  13. cats r over all the island, but NO dog! izzit bcoz cats the relative of lion??

  14. Haha I live near Selegie because I'm studying in SMU (the uni opposite Nat Museum). I have to agree that Peace Centre is THE dodgiest building in Singapore. haha.

  15. hey, been a silent reader keke. anyway we do have a lot of women bus drivers in malaysia. i just came back to m'sia too after years abroad. you are singaporean? just thought that i can update you haha. enjoy your weekend.


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