ANGRYYYYYYYY BANGRYYYYY STOMP EAT FURRY CREATURES SMASH SET THINGS ON FIRE BREAK THINGS KILL CUTE LIVING THINGS!!!!
Some asshole hit my car. AND THE BALL-LESS SON OF A BITCH RAN AWAY.
I wasn't even IN the fucking car or anywhere NEAR it so there's no way in heaven or hell or even with David Copperfield's magic could I have caused it.
It was freaking PARKED in front of a house.
With ample road space next to it.
So ample that even a TANK could pass through without a scratch.
Some fucking asshole shit-eating lowlife protoplasm decided to just happily crash INTO my car.
In the middle of the fucking night.
For no fucking reason at all.
HIT MY fucking relatively new CAR.
AND DROVE OFF.
And all because of YOU I now have to fucking go through the hassle of getting it repaired, PAYING FOR IT and going car-less.
I AM PAYING FOR YOUR FUCK UPS.
WHAT THE FUCK!@_#)$*)!@(#$*)!@(#$*!@)#(*$ !@()#*$
AND IT WAS A FREAKING BRIGHT ORANGE CAR.
BRIGHT ORANGE. NOT BLACK LIKE THE NIGHT. BUT FREAKING ORANGE LIKE THE FRUIT.
WHAT. WAS. YOUR. FUCKING. EXCUSE?
DRUNK? BLIND? YOUR PUNY LITTLE UNEVOLVED PREHISTORIC SENSES WERE ATTRACTED TO BRIGHT THINGS AND CREATED AN UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO CRASH IT? IQ OF A MOTH? NO LICENSE? WHAT?
I fucking HATE your existence and I will NOT rest until I fucking FIND you. And if I ever see your car (I have descriptions of your fucking car and number plate ASSHOLE) I will NOT hesitate to let go the airs in all your tyres, fucking SMASH YOUR WINDSCREEN IN WITH BRICKS, pour water in your freaking petrol tank, SET YOUR SEATS ON FIRE and READJUST YOUR FACE WITH A METAL BAT.
You have my word on it, bastard.
(and to all you bitches who thought that I will be the one causing accidents - GO FUCK YOURSELVES)
(and I hate all you fuckers who always say shit like "oh women are such bad drivers". Well GUESS WHAT? THIS FUCKING BRAINLESS IMBECILE WAS A MAN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE. IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS THE MEN WHO CAN'T BE FUCKING BOTHERED TO USE THE INDICATOR LIGHTS TO FUCKING SWITCH LANES AND SWITCH LANES WITHOUT LOOKING AS IF THEY OWN THE FUCKING ROAD. SO GO FUCK YOURSELVES UP THE ASS WITH A VACUUM CLEANER.)
(And in other news - Nuffnang party was fun eventhough it made me feel (and look) like a hundred years old. My sister's 2 years old hamster died last night, and we buried it in the garden - RIP. Happy monday)
(One more thing - DROP DEAD ALREADY YOU CHICKEN SHIT HIT AND RUN BASTARDCHILD)