Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Be Kind, Rewind

be kind rewind

Oh god no please don't inflict us with yet another Jack Black movie. Sure, School of Rock was pretty fun but School of Rock was pretty fun because the children were pretty fun. The bad bit about the movie was where Jack "LOOK AT ME MA I'M MAKING FUNNY FACES AND INSULTING EVERYBODY AIN'T I FUNNY" Black shows up all the fucking time. He has a face that's begging me to punch it in and stomp on it. With a heavy, blunt, metal object. Repeatedly.

Oh well, let's just give the new movie a try... it sounds promising enough on IMDB. Maybe Jack "LOOK AT ME PHYSICALLY INJURING MYSELF AGAIN WITH A YET ANOTHER MUNDANE HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE OMG I'M A COMIC GENIUS" Black might tone it down a bit and allow the movie to just be a tad bit more enjoya..... ARGHHHH NO!!!!!!111one WHYYYYYYYY!!!?!?!?! WHY. DO. YOU. KEEP. RUBBING. YOUR. POMPOUS. OBNOXIOUS. UNFUNNY. ASS. ON. OUR. FACES?

Well, the movie idea alone was awesome enough and I would've liked it immensely except for a few teeny tiny little details which ruined everything - the people IN it. Jack "LOOK AT ME SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS AND FLAYING MY ARMS ABOUT OMG I'M SO FUNNY PEOPLE WILL FIGHT TO EAT MY UNDERWEAR" Black had to be his usual vulgar crude self and absolutely ruined everything for me. Mos Def was more annoying than a tantrum-throwing kid screaming in the middle of a restaurant. I mean just because he looks like he has a slow-learning disability doesn't mean he has to act like he has a slow-learning disability. I hated him in H2G2, and I hated him now. Somebody please slap him about with a large trout. Take those 2 idiots out and replace them with any other 2 monkeys from a zoo and I guarantee that the movie will blow minds and win awards.

Another thing that really irked me is the randomness, the lack of continuity and the overall sense of pointlessness. Cut stop go okay let's put all these tOh-Tah-LeE FAR-neE bits in every 5 seconds cut stop go throw in some sentimental bullshit cut stop go we need depth let's sprinkle in some depth here and here cut stop go ooh let's not forget some tacky pseudo-moral elements cut stop go ROMANCE! How could we forget that! Cut stop voila! Jack Black movie!

Argh. So not for me - negative million. No more Jack Black movies for me ever, please.

Actually I really want to watch Ah Long Pte Ltd and Spiderwick. _mow?_

Looking forward to so many movies this American summer! Iron Man! Indiana Jones! The Incredible Hulk! The Dark Knight! WallE! Yeay! What are you looking forward to?


  1. hey, i LIKED Mos Def in H2G2. haha.

    oh, and WHY do you keep letting him sucker you into watching dumb movies like this? You do know he's deliberately trying to lower your IQ so that you won't be smarter than him, don't you? GYAHAHAHA! *runs away*

    FA: I didn't get suckered. I did genuinely wanted to give it a chance because the synopsis sounded like fun. Sigh

  2. eyeris: stop revealing my evil sinister plans!!!!! :P

  3. FA: See, his plot is working already!!!

  4. that's what happened when the blind leads the blind.

    haha. both ended up with lowered IQ? :p

  5. 'He has a face that’s begging me to punch it in and stomp on it.'

    Oh, so it's not just me who gets that special treatment from you! :-)

    Eyeris - actually, mens IQ's don't change over their life [not without brain injury], whilst a womans IQ naturally changes to that of the man they're with. So,women who marry men smarter than themselves get smarter and women who marry dumber thug-like men get dumber. So, no man needs to have any plan in order to alter a womans IQ to something closer to their own. :-)
    Of course, the womans IQ chart is a bell curve pointed in the middle [meaning they're are lots of average IQ women] and the mens one is flatter [making them both dumber and smarter ... but still more average ones than ultra smart or ultra dumb].
    Then again, a lot of people don't think IQ does much any more and EQ and other things have come into psychological importance.

  6. Ya, this Jack Black is not very funny. Ah Long Pte is very funny for Malaysian, watched it in Singapore during CNY. Heard that Malaysian version is longer a few minutes. So, might watch it again. Wanna join? :P

  7. I think Mos Def is a cool and 'under-the-radar' actor. Jack Black ... yeah never fancied him much. My last mistake was Nacho Libre ... ughh! He appeared in King Kong ... but that didn't make me skip the movie :)

  8. go watch spiderwick. thot it was awesome. i was at the edge of my seat for a couple of scenes..

    not bad for a kiddy movie..

  9. Revboy - I think Jack Black did quite well in King Kong. Of course, he wasn't being funny in that movie. lol

    I mean, overall King Kong has been remade so many times it isn't funny. I really don't know why they bothered to remake it again. I would have done it quite different ... like having King Kong slip on a banana and turn it into a real Stooges slapstick type affair ... which might explain why I was never asked to direct it this time around! ;-)

  10. ..i dig JB FA..T_T..

  11. the fat guy always piss me off

  12. Kung Fu Panda.

    It's got JB in it but I think it'll be alright and I have kids.


  14. Jack Black is funny as shit! Look at him sideways and he is actually cute... damn cute. Name me another comedian as funny as Jack... *none*

  15. Ya i'm lookin forward to watchin Ah Long too..should be damn funny.
    I dun really like Jack Black too..but thinks he did quite well in "holidays"..=)

  16. Jack Black is boss! Watch High Fidelity. It's very good.

  17. I luuuvvv JB. Absolutely luuuuuvvv him....shit, I'm so gay. Haha...
    Is Ah Long in the cinema yet?

    FA: Out long time liow!


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