Sunday, July 30, 2006

To: The Fuckface Who Stole My Handphone

1. May you contract leprosy.

2. May your wife cheat on you on your brother who is a gay and has a small dick who will fuck her up the ass. And may she bear HIS children, somehow.

3. May you shoot blanks. And be barren. For the spawns that are borne to you are better off dead than to carry your despicable seed.

4. May you constipate and have bloody piles of the most painful sort.

5. May your urethra burn and sting whenever you take a piss.

6. May your dick be infested with untreatable flesh eating viruses and may it painfully and slowly turn gangrene with puss and open sores for the rest of your cowardly insignificant life.

I fucking tulan now.

Am staying away from KLCC for abit. Stupid fucked up place.

Pride of the country konon. Pfft.

Brand new phone some more. Just when I was getting the hang of it.

It's not JUST RM1250 down the drain.

It's the hassle of losing numbers.
The hassle of having to replace the goddamn SIM card.
The hassle of having to GO to the Maxis centre to GET the goddamn SIM card.
The hassle of having to buy ANOTHER PHONE.
The SPENDING OF MONEY to buy another goddamn phone.
The hassle of not being able to be in contact with people who are trying to CONTACT ME. Who knows, right at this very moment, some reaaallly rich good looking 28 year old hunk who happened to have got my number from a really nice mutual friend, might be trying to hook up with me, and what will he get on the other line? Dead tone.

Now with my phone gone, I'm also missing my organiser, watch, alarm clock, and a mp3 player.


Tulan or not you tell me?


And this has to happen almost JUST before my birthday.

Damn no mood.

Wanna crawl underneath my covers and stay in there. Wake me up when 2006 ends, thanks.

P/s: Friends, please contact me on my house/office number if you have it. If you don't, email me for my number and I'll reply. Email me your numbers too. I won't get my SIM card till..... I have the time and transport to go to a MAXIS centre. which only opens during working hours. machauhai.


  1. LOL~
    Nice one dude, I love all your curse.
    By the way, how you lost your phone? The people steal or snatch? Don't be too sad about it, as you know, this is Malaysia. Nothing is impossible.

  2. That's one helluva curse you put on your hp thief!

    May it come true...and also he should be run over by the KL monorail too.

    But maybe a W850i will be in your future now...? =)

  3. damn. sorry to hear about your handphone. let's start a FA handphone redemption fund! I pledge RM10.00.

  4. lets start a blogathon rasing money for FA handphone!!! who is in??!!!

  5. btw, Vincent Chow... she's a dudette.

  6. You can call Maxis up (the same number where you reported the lost) and ask whether they will courier the SIM to you. They did it for me.

  7. Sorry to hear about your phone... Look at it this way, out with the (slightly) old, in with the newer phone!

    Did you actually see the person who stole your phone? Cos it might be a girl who did it, I'm just sayin'...

    And I sooo do not want to be the person who stole your phone right now..

  8. Poor thing..... But i've been wondering, how would you know it's a 'he' not a 'she'?? The way you curse remind me of my uni days where cursing is a language.....

  9. those fucking thief...maicibai u all...

    wingz: last month my car being broke in and i lost 2 phone and wallet u only pity me but this leng lui u wana raise fund...

  10. sorry to hear about your hp.. =(
    but im glad 2 have met u yesterday at the blogger meet :)
    i would like 2 send u your picture ;)
    so email me your msn at my email ok?

  11. Sorry to hear about your phone.

    You could try living with out it for a while. I haven't had my mobile for a year or so ... it's so good to be uncontactable by people ... then again, when people contact me it's normally because they want to give me work. :-)

  12. maybe a char-boh stole your phone?

    FA: People surrounding me were mostly male.

  13. Oh shit. And I was the one who created the reason for you to go to KLCC. I'm so sorry! And I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you.

  14. woi woi.. what happen la :( baru saw you using it yesterday

  15. Kesian... Kesian... Cheer up. :)

  16. I have a fitting picture of you for the thief.

    Perhaps you could tell us how it happened, so we can avoid it from happening to us?

    FA: Don't put anything in your back pocket. Even if it's just for 5 seconds.

  17. So sorry for you! I lost my HP once near Puduraya to a gang of pickpockets (yes a whole gang of those fucktards molested me pretending to be BUS PASSENGERS while one of them dug into my pocket. No-one noticed it despite it happening right in front of them) and then my RM2700 camera to another opportunistic thief in a cybercafe in Melbourne. The blackest part of my heart is reserved for fuckers like these. Hope you recover soon!

  18. Sorry about the phone. Hopefully your birthday will bring enough good to make up for this.

  19. whoa.. cool down!! what happened? did you check to make sure you did not misplace it?
    but if you did loose it... so sorry to hear that! (hugs).. as commented before, i guess the sony is fated to be your phone.. :)
    look at the bright side, it is only a phone. worse could have happened with the current safety situation in malaysia.
    whenever i am back, i never bring along expensive stuff when i am out.

  20. Hey, who knows that really rich good looking 28 year old hunk who happened to have got your number from a really nice mutual friend also read this site? If yes, I suppose he knows just what to present you during the next wednesday, :).

  21. You poor thing.

    It's terrible when things like that happen....
    (I'm sure a lot of us can relate - I've personally had my bag snatched b4... Stupid motorcyclist)

    Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.

  22. from wingz
    lets start a blogathon rasing money for FA handphone!!! who is in??!!!

    it's about time.
    let's do it. Close to September 25 but still let's just do it.
    I'm pledging RM50.

  23. WEI apa nie pledge pledge all. don't siau okay!

  24. Yeah, have a hug and a big kiss and you'll feel better

  25. not being a sexist here...but hey, need to make it more politically correct, just in case it was a char-bo who took it ;)

    lousy feeling though, happened to be before too...

  26. i withdraw my pledge for fear of incurring the wrath of FA and being cursed to holy blue hell. :(

    FA: Hmmm..... does anybody know a good bomoh around?

  27. Eh ya la... my mum's wallet just got flicked from her at Zara @ KLCC

    Be careful ya!

  28. hey FA, sorry to hear that esp when this incident is near ur birthday. i just had mine. i bet u r a leo then. so, calm down lion. wait karma repay him. karma works in a special way. so, js keep ur fingers cross hoping that ur curses above does take effect on him soon, very soon, slowly & painful.

  29. only problem i have with this post is the assumption that the thief must be a man..

  30. Try to be philosophical about it... next year. Meanwhile, RAGE RAGE!!!!

    Feeling for you.

  31. Weh don't pledge pledge pledge lah! Later FA's reputation terjadi macam some Singaporean blogger. That won't be all that pleasent right?

    FA: Exactly damnit! I'm my own bitch! I have the bacon! I can buy my own shit! :)

  32. oh dear, sorry to hear about your phone. klcc is notorious for pickpockets especially on busy weekends, got my wallet stolen about a month ago there (say...can i borrow your curse to use on those f**kers as well??). hope you manage to find a phone with all those features that you want! =)

  33. for sms, nokia is always the best.

    nokia 6230i has everything you want except for 3G. price rm800+ brand new i think.

  34. Apology, don't see the pledge thingy like the singaporean.

    I'd recommend Sony Ericsson K700. At least it meets all your criteria.

  35. u may not wanna go to KLCC but the maxis center there opens till 9pm everyday

    alternatively u can go to a MASA outlet to replace your SIM

  36. Yeah, fuck those buggers. My aunt also had her handbag snatched just yesterday and I planned to use those curse on them too.

    Anyway, hope you're feeling better now.

  37. I think the Maxis Centre in KLCC opens till 9pm. Since you don't have a phone anymore, there's no need to worry about pickpockets.

  38. Damn gao suay. Ppl, don't go and mengsiasuikan somemore.

  39. If u are an organiser/sms freak, Dopod 818 Pro is cheap (relatively speaking) n good. For a smaller phone, check out Dopod 585 which has dedicated music keys and MSN functions.

  40. FA is an independent girl that doesnt need anydude to help her get a HP man !
    so make sure you just swamped her with all the phone models you know...
    anyways, i'd prefer nokia n91...
    super cool
    super slick...
    super babe...
    woo hoo!

    FA: BUT. If anonymous good samaritans were to shower me with angpow and gifts purely out of the kindness of their hearts with no strings attached, I'll be stupid to decline. :)

    Hmm. I wonder. How do I con phone companies into giving me a free handphone in exchange for a noob review....

  41. So very sorry to hear abt yr mobile.

    Since you asked for some recomendation on which mobile to get abt a L7 Slvr Moto (u can get ard rm700-800)or if u want to try pocket pc try O2 mini (quite cheap at ard rm1600+-) or Dopod 818. or u might want to try the Samsung slider phone ard rm1200+.

    Hey, keep you chin up and your fingers typing.

  42. Get the Sony k750i. It's cheap and good. I'ts only about RM950 or maybe even less.

    Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that bastard that stole your phone dies. Lousy fucker

    FA: Death is too easy an escape.

  43. It is real bad they took your mobile phone. It will be doom day if they took you =(. Thank God you are okay. Anyone giving out new handphone out there? She will celebrate her birthday solely with you!

  44. You will get whatever you cursed on the person who stole your mobile phone. Learn to forgive. The phone is precious and valuable to you but you got not to be rude. Let the person who stole your mobile phone to be punished by God not by your cursing him. To curse is to sin..

    FA: Hey! Look, ma! A preaching dick!

  45. where is your old phone? just replace the sim.. it would probably last you till xmas!! then you can get a phone as a gift from your knight in shinning armor!!

  46. Hmm. I wonder. How do I con phone companies into giving me a free handphone in exchange for a noob review….

    Briliant idea~~ go for it....

    i dunno wat to said abt ur loss, coz i also unhappy ur not included in the monster blog d..haiya~~~

  47. try SE W700i, i'm using it and lovin it!
    only thing is the lack of autofocus for the camera.

  48. FA,

    What happened to your other blog? It's now full of XXX pictures! Kena hack ah?

  49. Poor FA!!! And yes, we know you're your own bitch, and you wear the pants and you can bring home the bacon and fry it up too :D

    Having read your curse, I most certainly DO NOT want to be on the receiving end of your anger. Er, maybe you can summon up some kinda patented FA Fireball and fry the bastard's ass or something?

    Take care OK? And may the next pickpocket/ thief who tries to pinch stuff off you have his offending hand(s) fall off :P

  50. Bomoh? Don't play a fool with those guys FA ... you might end up being part of the Hantu Exhibition at Shah Alam (wtf!).

    And yeah, Kenny Sia really sounds quite preachy there! Is that really him. omg. Pastor Kenny Sia?! Faints.

    FA: Of course it's not Kenny. He wouldn't use a corny nick like "lampa". He'd go straight for "coconuts".

  51. I wanna CnP this curse onto the fucker who stole my digicam, too! Fucking asshole. And right now I'm staying away from Sg. Wang. Fucking shithole place.

  52. Contrary to popular opinion, being gay isn't so terrible. Some of us actually quite enjoy it.

    FA: It IS terrible for the opposite sex. :)

  53. hmm.. how was it stolen?
    anyway.. sorry for your lost.

  54. [...] I stole my sister’s old brick of a phone to use as a temporary replacement until I bothered to get myself a spanking new one, because, well, my old spanking new phone got stolen before. [...]


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