Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I Saw A Part of My Brain.

Oh god it was so cold this morning if I had balls it would've frozen blue and dropped right off. Overnight storms are the worst. Do I really need to go work today? Sigh. ZZZzzzz..

My tooth is out!

Yup. Tooth. Not teeth. The right one which was currently giving me problems. The dentist refused to take out both for me. Said something about me not being to eat or talk later. Wuss.

"You want to see dentist ar? For what?"

"Oh.. Just to check out my teeth, see need any extraction done or not"

"Which doctor?"

"uh. the nicest most gentle one lar"

I damn can not tahan pain. I gladly and openly admit I have no balls. More than anything, the anticipation, the whole IDEA of being in pain freaks me out so much that my body works on overtime to numb all my pain sensors with adrenaline or what other bodily fluids until I hardly even FEEL any real pain when THE time comes. Hahaha. Wuss.

So there I was on The Chair. With the sanitised green bib tied around my neck. It's like waiting to be executed by the firing squad only.

I take a glance at all the glimmering metallic tools of the trade on the sliding table.

Pliers. Tiny sharp instruments. BIG sharp instruments. Weird painful looking instruments which looked like they were once used by the Japanese to torture our ancestors during their time here. Pliers. PLIERS.

I turn around and I see the nurse holding not one, but TWO metallic syringes the size of a baby's arm. TWO. ohmygod.

Screw you h2g2. It's time to panic. Panic. PANIC.

Dentist must've seen the look of terror on my face.

"Don't worry lah. won't feel a thing. injection might hurt a bit though, because you're tight inside"

(wah lan. I didn't pick that up yesterday from being all panic stricken, but that sentence maciam ada double entendres loh. ahem. )

So the bugger injected me twice. Which I hardly felt actually, because body already working overtime to produce anti-pain venom. Hahahahaha. But can feel lah, when the fella inject, the liquid going into my gum and ceiling of mouth. Very odd and bloody unpleasant. "not being able to feel inside of mouth" is definitely not in the list of my most favourite feeling ever... close to "nausea from overdose of alcohol the night before" and "excruciating pain from knee twisted at 90 degrees wrong angle".

After the injection, wait lar. Wait for anaesthetic to take effect.

wait wait waitwaitwait WAIT wait Wait waitwaitwait.

Eh. Why can not feel my mouth one? Oh. Numb already. HAhaha. Jakun betul.

drool.

Violation of mouth commences. I close my eyes. Scared mar. Dowan to see. If I don't see it, it's not happening lar. Tah dah!

Okay okay. I cheated and took a sneak peek. Saw the bugger holding THE PLIERS. Quickly closed eyes again.

Can feel someone holding my head down. Trapping it from moving. Wah it feels very constricting. Violated. Vulnerable. Like bondage only. Mouth open big big. People stopping you from moving. Instruments entering and butchering the inner sanctum of your mouth.

Oh god. Old memories from episodes of The Twilight Zone flashed through the inner recesses of my mind. Flash flash flash.

Then.

Then I felt it.

HE WAS CRUSHING MY WISDOM TOOTH WITH THE PLIERS.

GRABBING IT HARD. CRUSHING IT. TWISTING IT. CRUSH CRUSH TWIST TWIST. TUG TUG TUG CRUSH SOME MORE. I CAN FEEL IT YEARGH. STOP STOP. CRUSH TWIST. ARGH. OMFG I CAN FEEL WHAT HE'S DOING TO MY TOOTH.

The carnage in my mouth was teasing the edge of my pain receptors. Coaxing me to feel the pain. I taste blood. Ohmygod somuchblood. I can hear the nerves of the tooth SCREAMING IN MY HEAD.

This is also definitely NOT the best feeling in the world.

MORE TUGGING CRUSHING FORCE IT OUT DAMNIT TUG TUG CRUSH ONE MORE TWIST.

Finally came out. I saw it. This bloody bleeding alien with roots sticking out.

"You know, normally, people only have one root sticking out of their wisdom tooth. You. Have. Three. No wonder so hard to come out"

Three. Bloody hell. If my knees were as strong as my wisdom tooth I would still be actively involved in other vigorous physical activities which I enjoy so much. Strong in useless areas. Weak in important areas. It's fucking ironic, my life.

tiuleimahcheebai.

So anyways. I saw my tooth. And like Calvin, I didn't feel very comfortable seeing a piece of my head held between the mouth of menacing pliers.

Rinse. spit.

Done! You can go home now! Here's your one day MC!

Lies. It wasn't done. The pain wasn't done with me at ALL. The blood certainly wasn't. I could taste the rust and salt of blood the whole day. With or without the gauze.

After the anaesthetic wore out, the throbbing sensation started lah. It's like a migraine, except it's in your mouth. INSIDE the gums... all the way to your head. Sore, tender, cavity migraine. Not fun.

Whole day makan bubur aje. Damn sian. Hungry every hour upon the hour. Late at night, can not tahan already, so make instant noodles. It's not considered eating if you don't chew your food. My stomach doesn't recognise it as food. It's all liquid if you don't chew. Hungry.

But when chew on anything, can feel the uncomfortable throbbing soreness. Can still taste blood on everything. Screw it. At least stomach happy.

Today I eat mash potatoes for lunch. Can anybody tar pau some for me from Chillies? KFC jatuh standard already. Sniff.

Next time I shall take pictures of other wisdom tooth after extraction. If I remember.


P/s: Actually hor, it wasn't THAT painful lar. Jangun takut. Don't procrastinate! Get yours out at the nearest dental clinic today! :P

34 comments:

  1. FA, i think i saw you in certain newspaper, for full scholarship of certain company :D

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  2. aiyo....reminded me of when i had to extract tooth for braces - dentist remarked I had many, remarkably LONG roots, he nearly twisted my jaw off trying to pull it out.

    drink soup, mash potato, ice cream is good :)

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  3. bread dunked in cream of mushroom soup.

    just don't use french loaf like i did. pain sial.

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  4. how much did u pay to get that done?

    FA: RM100. PJ damn expensive. :(

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  5. This post sounds like a fucking ejaculation -_-

    FA: horny pug. down.

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  6. OWWWW!!!! I am so holding onto all my wisdom teeth....

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  7. Shit!!! Supposed to get mine out next month... now tat i've read ur extremely explicit story on extraction... I'll need the dentist to give me a tranquilizer elephant dosage.. so i can sleep thru my extraction... *think* though I probably choke on my blood.... but wat the heck.. its worth the risk...

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  8. man, just reading this brings the pain. TOO GRAPHIC even without the pictures. argh, i just lost my appetite

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  9. Oh shit you were damn vivid I feel damn weak already now ok?
    Oh, why would you want strong knees eh? Hehehe

    FA: good for vigorous strenuous physical activities lah. like .......sports.

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  10. u didn't gargle with listerine after that ah? :P

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  11. how abt bread?

    wisdom tooth eh...good thing i only need to extract one...the rest are fully grown normally....and that one renegade was extracted when I was 17.

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  12. wah this is better than watching House.

    esp with all the sexual connotations! haahahhahah

    FA: this is NOT turning into a sex blog. I repeat. not a sex blog.

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  13. I don't have a problem with pain...

    But dentists really suck yea. Everytime i visit the dentist (which is so often) i curse them in my head

    "Oww... EEK... MOTHER. FUCKER."

    Sure dentist have short life. After all the silent curses they get.

    FA: Ooh. Fairy visits and comments can only mean one thing... procrastination! NOW GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY FAIRY!

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  14. Die la! Die la! My turn is coming liao. *fainting*

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  15. [...] And also all those horror stories about the extraction/surgery associates with PAIN! No one blady hell say not PAIN! When the needle poke you during anaesthetics, it was fine but when the dentist cut the gum, she can feel something… something. I presume it’s a undescribeable feeling. [...]

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  16. 'Get yours out at the nearest dental clinic today!'

    But, mine aren't causing any problems!!!! :-)

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  17. wah sounded painful wei! my balls are shrinking!

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  18. omg....i can imagine the pain..... fucking painful sial!

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  19. KNNCCB, you complain RM100 expensive, it cost me RM450 to extract mine (6 injections and 2 hours of drilling, cutting and tugging).

    Don't you feel lucky, the only alcohol you can take are Listerine, cheaper than vodka. ;)

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  20. Congrats FA, finally your ordeal is over. By the way, Anyone going to this event - "988 Ten Years of Appreciation" Anniversary Celebration DJ Awards held genting highlands this saturday. FA, are you interested ?

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  21. i hate going to the dentists - unless they r cuteee

    muahahah

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  22. not pain? i removed all and i had 2 weeks MC. my face was swollen, but i went for GA. hehe..you reminded me of my wisdom teeth extraction again :P

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  23. i remember when i was extracting my teeths for braces, i had to hold myself down because the fucker didn't inject enough anaesthetics to numb me down... and all my teeth had 3 roots... my fists was clenching so tight i swore i would've punched him if i hadn't restrained myself...

    -__-"

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  24. actually you don't want to be eating while the anesthetic's still working. you might end up chewing on your tongue and not know it.

    FA: hahaha. anaesthetic wore off few hours later. and the numbess was contained on one spot only.

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  25. is it true when u extract your tooth, your face will turn swollen? should i extract my wisdom tooth? it's been giving me a lot of trouble...

    FA: Face swellings depends on the individual. My one hardly bloated, thank goodness, already have chubby cheeks ceterus paribus. Also depending on whether it's an EXTRACTION or SURGERY. The latter would hurt more, and cost 3 times more. If the wisdom tooth giving you trouble get it out loh, because I personally hate trouble. Am not a dentist or anything, go see a real one. :)

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  26. I had mine extracted on Monday. And it cost me RM480 leh!!! I like it when he numb my mouth...so fun i can't feel anything...hahahaha...

    FA: OMFG! WHY SO EX?!?!?! THey encrusted diamonds in your mouth isit?

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  27. mch u fa, now i'm scared of the dentist. tiuuu...

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  28. ai-yo-yo ... still can think of taking pictures (next time) !?!?

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  29. Happy Ba Chang Day, FA and everyone!!! Anyone want to donate Ba Chang here ?

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  30. Great entry. That Singaporean accent is the wildest thing I\'ve ever read. It\'s like someone yelling gibberish at me and me understanding. Wild.

    FA: It\'s a Malaysian accent. MALAYSIAN! UNDERSTAND!

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