When one cuts up a credit card and mail it back to the bank in pieces, one will inevitably receive a phone call from one's friendly neighbourhood customer service personnel.... FROM HELL.
"Why you cut our card ah?"
"Why dont you want it?"
"Let me tell you about this promotion okay it is a very special promotion this week only we offer you it is a special deal if you let it go you sure regret one I tell you......."
*etcetcetc blahblahblah yak yak yak yak mehmhemhemhehetc "
......so on so forth for the next 20 minutes.
And no matter how many times one chants,
"No. No. NO. NO. dowan lah. I got a lot of cards already. Really. No. NO. No. No. No. NO!"
... they'll just keep talking. And talking. And talking. AND TALKING.
It's as if their brains were hardwired to compeletely forget that the word "no" ever existed in the english langauge and thus whenever "no" is uttered their modified brains would process it as background noise.
Or maybe it's hardwired to process "no" actually means "yes please do go on raping my ears with your incessant marketing bullshit it really makes me horny mistah", thus encouraging them to go on with the fullest vigour.
THIS is how banks FORCE credit cards down the throat of their poor innocent customers.
Weaken them with endless, mindless chatter.
Talk to them until their ears bleed.
Talk to them until their eyes roll to the back of their heads.
Talk to them until the only civil way to make it all stop is to SAY YES OMG OMG YES JUST GIVE IT TO ME OKAY I CANT TAKE THIS MINDLESS DRONING OF REDUNDANT INFORMATION I DONT GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT ANYMORE ANYTHING ANYTHING BUT THIS OHMYGOD STOPITTTTTTT ARGH.
More failproof than kryptonite to Superman I tell ya.
So anyway, this is what happened to me today.
Some fucker called me up, told me they'll take away the "if you don't spend 80 bucks on your credit card per month, we'll charge you 10 bucks for that month" clause, and that he would like to introduce me to this "BRAND NEW ALL IMPROVED PROMOTION SPECIALLY AVAILABLE TO YOU THIS WEEK ONLY" where I just need to swipe the card SIX TIMES in a year for a lifetime fee waiver.
I really, really really tried to say no.
But he just wouldn't hear it.
Damn the sneaky corporationey fuckers.
They play dirty.