Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Short Story - A Failed Experiment

A strange packet from the You Arse of Aye arrived one day.

A rustling was heard.

Where was it coming from?

It was coming from the packet!

Goodness gracious! There were Gummies in the packet!

They were trapped in that big bad plastic packet!

Undeterred, they were desperately clawing at the plastic walls with their gummy paws and chewing it with their gummy mouth.


Their persistence was rewarded with FREEEDOM!

In jubilation, they celebrated late into the night with gummy dancing and gummy music.

Witnessed by the stars and the moon.

One curious gummy however, strayed and played a little too far from the rest of his pack.

Got itself quite lost it did.


Oh no! What was a gummy to do?

It climbed atop of the highest peak to get a better view.


It explored the inner sanctums of a cave.


But the more it looked, the more lost it got.

Sensing the hopelessness of its situation, it decided to just chill in a well. It was damp. It was cool. It fell asleep.


Unbeknownst to it, nature was forming a sinister plot.


While the gummy fell asleep in the well, the tide came rushing in.


It came in hard and flooded the well.

The poor gummy was forced to swim, if it wanted to survive.


But how long could he keep doggy gummy paddling?

It was about to give up when suddenly.....

..... a voice boomed from far away.

"Let go"

"This water is holy. It is pure. It will cleanse you. It will make you forget"

"You shall be reborn"

Enlightened, it smiled and let go.


And became one with everything.

The End.

1. This was a failed experiment to infuse gummy bears with vodka. Can you imagine the possibilities of vodka infused gummies? I would earn MILLIONSSSS! Buy a sports car! Own a harem of virile boys! A holiday villa in Spain! A kennel of award winning pedigree dogs! From past experiences, gummy bears DO soak up water and expand to about 5 times its original size, which is why I thought it would work with vodka too. And in case you're still wondering if it did or not - it didn't.
2. I didn't taste the end product. The concoction did smell like Vodka OJ. But it also smelt like melted plastic. I didn't have enough balls to want to risk 5 years of my life or growing an extra arm out of my face by tasting it.
3. Several gummy bears HAVE been harmed during the production of this short story. Most of them ended up in a darker, deeper, damper cavity of sorts. But fear not gummy bear lovers, for they didn't suffer..... much. Yum.
4. Argh. The camera's condemned to high hell. Macro function is shot. In fact, even the focusing for normal portrait shots is whacked. Flash is wonky too. Time to get a new camera. A handphone. A watch. A car..... and a sugar daddy to pay for 'em all. Sigh.
4. The Gummy Bears were proudly sponsored by Eyeris! You're the best! Muaks!


  1. this post feels incomplete...

    FA: Really? How?

  2. I LOVE THIS POST! so pure 100% oldskool Fireangel!

  3. Nice one! Reminds me of Drew Carey and gang who love to swim in Buzz Boy beer. :)

  4. Reminds me of the time I decided to dump skittles into beer.

  5. I think the true question that is nagging everyone at this point is ...

    ... Did you drink it afterwards ?

    FA: Kindly refer to Note #2.

  6. YOU ARE EVURL!!! YOU KILLED A GUMMY BEAR! With evidence, prison awaits for you!!!

  7. how long before he er...let go?

    FA: A few hours?

  8. Waaah! Gummy killer!

    And it's not even "water"!

    FA: Well.. it's a liquid of sorts :)

  9. was it just the lighting and/or the vodka that made the doomed gummy bear turn from orange-y red to yellow? or did you eat it before its time? or maybe it got a stunt-double? in the end, the substance in the container looks like a urine sample. mmm, tasty! :D

    FA: Lighting. It was the same orange gummy the whole time!!!!!

  10. So this is how gummy bear looks like. Where can I find it?

    FA: There is a place outside your house called a shopping complex which sells many different wonderful things.

  11. you make my heart fluttered with this one . . .
    woo hoo !

  12. Little Gummy's AT Field broke down! He's pure LCL! Someone call Ritsuko-- HURRY! We can still save him!

    FA: Hang on a minute. Aren't you supposed to be in China?!?!?

  13. Maybe you could try soaking them gummies in water till they expand. After that, let them dry a little. Then soak them in vodka.


    this might interest you somewhat, you vodkaddict.

    FA: Hmm. I'm thinking jellied live octopus vodka shots. Any takers?

  15. Why not try getting a syringe, and injecting vodka into the gummy bear?

    FA: Why not indeed! Hmmmm....

  16. That was a waste of good vodka. Damn you.

    FA: In the name of science, sacrifices MUST be made!

  17. repeat the experiment with a glass bottle

  18. Gummy gear + vodka + flame

    If you afraid of buring down the house, just experiment at KY place ;)

  19. MURDERER!!!!


  20. You murderer !!! LOL..

    FA: Who where? Not me. I didn't steal any cookie from the cookie jar. :P

  21. You could make millions selling this idea to Absolut. Imagine....


    sheer genius I tell you. :D:D

    FA: Meh. They haven't gotten back to me about being their mascot. Sian.

  22. I still prefer Smurfberry Vodka! :-)

  23. Were you helping yourself to the vodka before baptising Mr Gummy Bear there? Cos I can see some splotches of liquid on the parquet in the 3rd-to-last picture. A little bit too much imbibing of the sacred liquid eh? ;)

    ps: The injecting idea sounds cool - have had vodka- infused watermelon (topped up over the period of a week) and vodka-injected oranges before. Great way to get tipsy while pretending that you're being healthy by eating fruit *hic hic* :P

  24. You mean it actually desolves in vodka? WOW... this is fun.

    So whats next? Mentos vodka? :P

  25. yikes! you should never drink warm vodka! eeew...

    however, you can always try making vodka mellon. they are yummy.. just need to infuse vodka into mellon and freeze it. gives you a good buzz during the warm summer months!

  26. I don't get how the floor is so dry but the drink so yellow

  27. The little red gummy in the last pic is the cutest of them all.

  28. What a waste of good alco lah??!? Even in the name of science!!!!!


  29. "Most of them ended up in a darker, deeper, damper cavity of sorts."


    i've never wanted to be a gummy bear more than i do this exact instant. nirvana.

  30. James : The floor is not dry in some of the pics

  31. Wow. That gummy used to be a solid. Now it joined the great link.

    A happy, inebriated great link!

  32. You live in such a CINA house! hahahahah

  33. "Most of them ended up in a darker, deeper, damper cavity of sorts." . . . . . You got kinky with them gummies didn't you ?

  34. I have an urge to eat liquer chocs now after reading this. =.="

  35. lolz - good one there

  36. Perhaps the experiment works better in a non-plastic environment.

    Nevertheless, gummy bears pwn. Period.

  37. no camwhore pics of yourself? heh. this site is almost where the gummies go to die. after that, bury in your stomach.

  38. Ever heard of wine gums....ready-made-alcohol-infused gummies =)

  39. you should use a glass container.... alcohol and plastic don't mixx.. you'd be drinking plastic..

    try injecting vodka into cute little tomatoes.. heavenly bite... can use it for finger food.. ;)

    best regards.. hic*...

  40. wah! i like gummy bear and vodca all along! but not in combination!!


    first time here, just to tell you you are really a very creative blogger! *impressed*

  41. Lainie has given the answer to the first comment in this post. LOL!

  42. wait a minute!! i have had gummies in my drinks!!!
    try odering a "test tube baby"... the secret ingredient is a gummy in it... they serve them here in the states. they might do the same in msia... let me know if you manage to find a place which serves it... haha...

  43. the only signs of FA in the above post is merely her hand holding the bottle of vodka... while spilling a bit on the floor... :P

  44. i loved this! you're funny. i like the barbed humour in your blog.

  45. Dip a gummy bear in water, let it grow, and leave it to guard your stash. You'll know if it tried to take a sip.

  46. So this is where the gummy bears he bought from US went to. he was so intent on getting "candies" for his "friends". LOL

  47. If you inject the gummie bears with alcohol, as long as it is not something potent like 151 or everclear, then freeze the gummie bears, they will not dissolve. I have done this on several occasions, very tasty. Also, try making your own gummies with 50% alcohol, 50% water.

  48. There is a webiste where you can buy vodka infused gummy bears.

  49. try gummy worms, it works much better, and only soak them for a few hours in the refridgerator. make sure the vodka is ice cold, it will keep the gummies from dissolving.

  50. [...] What were you doing 1 year ago? According to my blog, I was drowning gummy bears. [...]


    Here is a gift, from me to you.
    Please try again.
    The gummies WANT to be drunk.....


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