I'm tired and not well rested. Apart from it being a dreaded Monday, today feels like nothing went right over the weekend.
I like fairytales. I wish I was living in one. Except, I don't want to be THAT useless, dependent, skanky, damsel in distress princess who sits around and wait for some stupid rich handsome prince in his majestic white steed to save me from a tall tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon where we will then ride into the sunset, back to his castle and live happily ever after.
In my fairytale, I want a stupid stable 9-5 job I actually don't hate which pays me enough money to live my current lifestyle comfortably without my having to worry about budgeting, or when is the next price revision of EVERYTHING and perhaps fall in love with a simple, sensible, guy with a 9-5 job who shares some similar interests and loves me back like I love him, and if I'm lucky, maybe he won't give me too much trouble, or have me worry about him too much... Then once we're both financially comfortable, maybe we'll get married, open a joint account (apart from our own personal accounts; where we'll contribute a percentage of our pay into it every month) and get a cozy place for ourselves - with a dog please. On the weekdays we'll just chill out at home after work, sipping at our drinks to wind down while we catch our favourite tv series. We'll have our fights. We'll make up. We'll have our trips and holidays in faraway places, we'll indulge in good food when we like to, buy that toy or pretty thing we want, take a drive to a local island on long weekends, catch the movies we want to catch, hit the gym. Then maybe we'll have kids.
I'm not asking for any fucking 10,000 dollar handbag. I don't need a pretentious overpriced fast car. I don't need that stupid holiday villa at venice. I don't want Karl Lagerfield to design my clothes. I don't want a private jet. I don't need a diamond mine. I don't even want a stupid large stone on my finger. I don't want 10 maids to bring up my children. I don't need a brad pitt. I don't want to quit my job and live the life of a tai tai. I don't need to be famous. I don't need that latest most expensive electronic gadget. I don't need a guy who can afford to buy me everything and anything I might ever want, or don't want.
I want an average life, with some niceties sprinkled here and there, that'll be perfect. I know this world is some tough shit. I don't need an extravagant happily ever after. I just want my happily ONCE in a while.
Sure I dream about greater things. About shooting for the stars, and hoping to land among the clouds. Then I wake up to this... real life. And in the real life, if you're not born into the right family, even the simplest dreams are so hard to achieve. That is, if it that dream doesn't involve a plan trying to snare some rich, loaded "prince" to cater for your every whim and fancy, unlike a lot of girls I know and heard about, which disgusts me to no end. That's just not right lah, imho. Coz at the end of the day don't you want to look back and know that you achieved something for myself with yourown two hands? I do.
What's wrong with not expecting for too much? What's wrong with not dreaming big? What's wrong with being happy with just the simple things? Be the best daughter, sibling, friend, employee, companion, or (maybe) parent one can possibly be. Fuck when you think about it, that's no simple feat, okay.
In the end, I'm just an average person, who looks forward to simple pleasures like sleeping-in on a rainy day and catching a good movie. Trying to live my life the best I can. It's not SUPER - but it's so very stable and reliable. Realistic. Constant and comfortable. I like it.
I don't mind being mediocre. What's with the inflated price of everything and the almost no power of purchase with our shitty $$$ - today's world is so tough that even average is just so hard to BE.
I'm happy leaving being super to the cartoons.
Besides, the guy I fall in love with should treat me like a princess and pamper me once in a while. :)
But hey, that's just me!