Tuesday, February 6, 2007

LEARN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.

Look here you neandarthalic buffoons!

When a girl is PMS-ing it does NOT mean that she is fucking bleeding already OKAY.

DID YOU NOT FREAKING LISTEN TO YOUR FORM THREE SUB TEACHER WHEN SHE WAS TEACHING IN FRONT OF THE CLASS OR WERE YOU TOO BUSY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO STARE AT HER CLEAVAGE FROM HER LOW CUT TOP WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT?

Let me break it down for you now bitches!

P = PRE = earlier than. prior to. before. in advance = NOT YET.

M = MENSTRUAL = relating to menstruation. pertaining menses = BLEED. BLOOD.

S = SYNDROME = a group of symptoms = DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS?

Most common Pre Menstrual Symptoms include:
* Weight gain from premenstrual water retention
* Abdominal bloating
* Breast tenderness
* Stress or anxiety
* Depression
* Crying spells
* Mood swings, irritability or anger
* Appetite changes and food cravings
* Trouble falling asleep (insomnia)
* Joint or muscle pain
* Headache
* Fatigue (medical)
* Acne
* Trouble concentrating
* Wanting to be alone
* Body temperature increase
* Worsening of existing skin disorders, and respiratory (eg, allergies, infection) or eye eg, visual disturbances, conjunctivitis) problems

Have been experiencing 13 of the above syndromes since last night OMGCANDIE!

Do NOT have patience now to explain any further.

Wikipedia is your best friend ---> click!

Argh I can feel an aneurysm forming in my JUGULAR.

Must. Resist. Biting. Heads.

Must. Not. Let. Stupid. Idiots. Piss. Me. O....

ARGHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

HULKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!11111111one

*EATS A BABY. KICKS A FAWN. TEARS A CHILD'S HANDMADE CARD INTO PIECES. SETS FIRE ONTO LAVENDER FIELDS. CHOPS 250 YEAR OLD TREE DOWN. EATS A PANDA. CRUSHES HEADS OF SQUIRRELS. DEMOLISHES A HERITAGE BUILDING. STOMPS ON THE PARLIMENT. EATS SIX MORE ENDANGERED ANIMALS!*

36 comments:

  1. We'll buy you evening primrose oil. It should help.

    FA: No PLEASE don't. I have tried 3 different brands on 3 seperate occasions. It caused an outbreak worse than.. oh I dunno, small pox? No side effects? Hah. LIES. ALL LIES. Never again.

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  2. *EATS A BABY. KICKS A FAWN. TEARS A CHILD’S HANDMADE CARD INTO PIECES. SETS FIRE ONTO LAVENDER FIELDS. CHOPS 250 YEAR OLD TREE DOWN. EATS A PANDA. CRUSHES HEADS OF SQUIRRELS. DEMOLISHES A HERITAGE BUILDING. STOMPS ON THE PARLIMENT. EATS SIX MORE ENDANGERED ANIMALS!* scratch glass wif ur finger nails & hear tat sound...

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  3. Tried antihistamines? I would suggest alcohol but that usually makes (every)things worse.

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  4. u eat babies? i'm telling my mom

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  5. mmm.... anyone told you that you're cute when you act all that violent?

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  6. synflex 550mg shud take care of it.

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  7. when i was in form 3... i dont recall any teacher wearing any low cut top. but heck, i still wasnt concentrating on the subject.

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  8. *FA: No PLEASE don’t. I have tried 3 different brands on 3 seperate occasions. It caused an outbreak worse than.. oh I dunno, small pox? No side effects? Hah. LIES. ALL LIES. Never again.*

    Ok, we'll buy you birth control pills then, it should stabilise your hormones and stop your breakouts. *grin*

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  9. wow, all that carnage from someone from the 'fairer sex'. amazing. O_o

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  10. I'll second Mossie's statement.

    I'll prepare a bucket for the blood alright?

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  11. Eh, stoping on parliment is a good thing wat.

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  12. breast tenderness? hmmmmmmmm

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  13. wow... there she goes again with all her violences... better step far far away, if not... need some booster, i got plenty, 6 bottles i think...

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  14. u know u're so friggin cute when u're like that. That's what got me hooked... am I sick in a way then?

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  15. yes... i feel you. pms over, currently bleeding but still feel like a whale though.

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  16. *scared* *runs away far far by jumping onto a boat and rowing to the Easter Islands*

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  17. stupid. PMS nowadays (applicable for the eemoegal generation) means pre,present, AND post. or perpetual. or permanent (courtesy of paultan).

    FA: Sigh. Young punks these days.

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  18. 'Look here you neandarthalic buffoons!'

    I resent being called a Netherlandic Balloon!!!! No matter how much I resemble one! ;-)

    'When a girl is PMS-ing it does NOT mean that she is fucking bleeding already'

    No, but it often means a man will be bleeding if he makes a joke about it. [Or possibly clutching his nuts in pain ... ]

    'WERE YOU TOO BUSY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO STARE AT HER CLEAVAGE FROM HER LOW CUT TOP WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT?'

    Without getting Caught? I knew I was doing something wrong!!

    'Most common Pre Menstrual Symptoms include:'

    *Girlfriend telling you she feels fat, though she looks as slim as ever.
    *Girlfriend telling you to look at how bloated her stomach is ... which you stupidly reply to with a shrug.
    *Girlfriend not letting you touch her breasts for some reason ... you get a punch to the face!
    *Girlfriend phoning you and yelling at you for no apparent reason and telling you that you stress her out for some reason, even though you haven't seen her for a week as you're off on a conference.
    *Girlfriend making you read dark poetry about killing herself. [Just don't shrug when she asks you how it makes you feel!]
    *Girlfriend crying for no apparent reason. When you ask why, she beats you to death with the red soggy ends of your arms that used to be in the shoulder sockets.
    *Girlfriend making a string of jokes, which when you try to join in causes her to get angry and beat you with the other arms red soggy end that used to be in your shoulder socket, she then cries over hurting you and hits you some more.
    *3am trips to the supermarket to get the Girlfriend pickles to go with her Mango Yogurt ... and lots of corn on the cob! I mean, what's with all the corn? Oh, and fifteen blocks of chocolate ... at least you can understand that one! Yum, chocolate!
    *Girlfriend waking you at 2am as SHE can't sleep ... so she wakes you to ask if you're awake. [No, you're not ... Zzzzz ... OUCH!].
    *Girlfriend complains of muscle pain. Probably from all that beating she's been doing to you.
    *Girlfriend has a headache ... probably from high blood pressure form all that stress you're causing her.
    *Girlfriend says she feels fatigued. You assumme it's from the lack of sleep and heavy beating regime she's taken up ... probably causing her headaches too.
    *Girlfriend either imagines zits you can't see or breaks out in them [which you better pretend you can't see, else a beating with soggy arm bits will follow].
    *Girlfriend suddenly develops the concentration skills of a man watching a football match. Somehow this allows her to miss your funniest jokes, but not the jokes she can take the wrong way. You receive a beating with the soggy ends of your detached arms.
    *Your Girlfriend phones you to tell you to go away ... you're not sure where, as you're already away ... probably at the hospital getting your arms re-attached.
    *You tell your Girlfriend she's hot and she agrees and complains about it.
    *Your GF chucks up on you and tells you it's her allergies playing up. You don't complain as it's a lot better than being beaten up again, and your arms are just regaining feeling.

    Sounds like standard operating procedure for me.
    I've experienced all of the above from flatmates, GF's etc. I'm just glad I'm in Perth so I don't have to experienc the Baby biting etc first hand. It'd upset me too much.

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  19. im experiencing the same thing as u are, FA.

    :[ i hate that time of the month.

    WHY DO WE GIRLS HAVE TO SUFFER!?

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  20. argh... u see female is such unstable species.. monthly outburst is said cause *some* male species running for cover

    ( >.

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  21. I'm experiencing 10 of those syndromes myself. I can't explain it, except to say, no, my boobs are not getting bigger!

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  22. Man, a lavender field on fire would smell heavenly.

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  23. P can also stand for Perpetual!

    *runs and hides from the Secret Sisterhood of killing insensitive males*

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  24. err whats with the pop-ups?

    that sucks

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  25. STOMPS ON THE PARLIMENT.

    Please do it, I'll buy you 10 volkas, 20 bailey, 30 Yomeishu.

    pleaseeeeeeeeee.

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  26. You males out there should go out and get a bloody life instead of telling how cute a girl is on the internet. Farking loosers

    FA:... cries a fellow commentor.

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  27. Pot calling the kettle black. Heh.
    *Best scottish accent* Aye me lassie(I think you are a lassie aren't you?), wasting time is what we do! Sometimes at least.

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  28. yamada, if u think it's bad here.... wait till u check out one other blog that i bumped into...

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  29. Yamada, what's wrong with that? Just because we're on the internet we can't flirt? Screw flirting, maybe they're genuinely trying to cheer her up?

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  30. Dirteel,

    "u know u’re so friggin cute when u’re like that. That’s what got me hooked… am I sick in a way then?"

    Corny?

    Ok cheer up Ms Blogger, the bleeding will end don’t worry. Problems only come when you don’t bleed once in a month anymore.

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  31. Poor you.. and poor all the women in the world.
    But look on the bright side, you girls get mood swings for a reason, I dont!
    :P

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  32. [...] I’ve lost about 3.5kg since a week ago. That may sound a little drastic but I got my period on Friday (I think) and usually I lose 1kg straightaway because of water retention during PMS. (Many guys don’t understand the concept of PMS - please read this) [...]

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  33. EastMalaysianInKLMarch 7, 2007 at 7:30 AM

    Instead of a Lavender field, set fire to a Marijuana field; then find a comfy spot, take deep, long breathes.

    Aaaaaaaaallll is fine now........

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