Monday, April 29, 2013

Round and a Round and a Round We Go.

This post is inspired by PMS and champagne.

Not too long ago, this post would've been about me freaking out. Freaking out about not meeting my so-called, obliged life KPIs. You know, the whole thing about getting a great job that pays you shitloads, getting married, having kids.

The old me would've shook my head and asked myself WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.

The old me would've freaked out whenever someone is against whatever I'm doing - be it a friend, or a family.

The old me would've felt the clock ticking, because I want to get hitched and have that kid now. and I'm desperately clinging on to relationships that barely work.

The new me is like, fuck that. If it doesn't happen maybe it isn't meant to be. I ain't gonna settle for any piece of shit.

I look around me and I've realised that people who went through conventional paths of life aren't necessarily happier or better. In fact, they could be in worse shape. There's nothing to envy because everybody chooses their own paths, their lives are different. Just because it could work for them, doesn't mean it could work for me.

Detractors' lives aren't a bed roses either - so really why should I feel upset when they question my life? I'm done with people judging me. Telling me that I should get a REAL job. Feeling bad for me because i'm still "single". Telling me I should be this, or doing that.

Thanks for caring. I love advise and encouragement. But please, keep the pity party and the high horse to yourself. Just because I do not walk down your path does not make me wrong. Or a failure.

Really, I rather be alone for the rest of my life, than "settle" for average just because I'm "supposed to".

Really, I rather be jumping jobs for the rest of my life, rather than having "blind loyalty" just because I'm "supposed to".

Maybe I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe I'm destined to be a nomad.

Yes sometimes it REALLY gets to me - when people are judgemental or hard or negative. But I tell myself now that it's because they truly care. Not because they are malicious... and I feel better. Of course there are days when it gets harder. But it's all in my head, really. It's all within my control.

I've wasted at least 6 years of my life at deadbeat jobs and relationships. I've had enough of mediocrity. I will not waste anymore time than I have to. I will do, and when I am done, I will stop. I won't stick around out of "social obligation". What does that term even mean?

As long as it doesnt hurt anyone, I'm going to keep doing what makes me happy. I'm going to keep learning. I'm gonna keep experiencing. I'll be done when I say I'm done.

Because as long as I'm happy, nobody can tell me I'm not.

Shit, I'm pretty sure when I read this back tomorrow, I won't understand what I've said. lol.

Goodnight world.

Any time spent at regret is wasted time. Be happy. Be at peace.


I disclaim all comments.