Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Robots In Disguise! (May contain spoilers)

Yup I've seen it.

On Imax.

Now, who wants to touch me?

I said.

WHO. WANTS. TO. FUCKIN'. TOUCH. ME?!?!?!

Anyway.

I think I like it. I think. I'm not too sure. A couple of things REALLY irked me. And those couple of things really took away the enthusiasm of how much I REALLY want to like the movie, you know?

First thing I didn't like: NOT. ENOUGH. AIR. TIME. ON. THE. ROBOTS.
True, awesome does not even BEGIN to describe them when you actually SEE them. The first time I saw the robots transform, I was like... I felt like.. my head was going to explode. No. It was more than that. I felt like, I was in this space ship. And there was a hole in the wall of this space ship. And the difference in pressure between the inside and outside of the ship was sucking my WHOLE body out INTO SPACE through that teeny tiny hole.

And then imagine how it feels. Er, but in a really good way.

The thing is. IS THAT IT? IS THAT ALL WE GET TO SEE OF THE ROBOTS?!?!? Why isn't the entire storyline FOCUSED on the robots? How the fuck can they justify the robots being reduced to that of a puny miserable SIDE STORY? Or that Bumblebee felt like he was just merely some sort of a amusing human SIDEKICK? And how can the battle scenes between the robots be SO SHORT?!?!?! I WANT MORE! IT COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH MORE! How can you hardcore die hard fans be just contented with THIS? Or has everybody's expectations, from the scale of 1 to 10, reduced to that of a NEGATIVE infinite figure knowing full well how gay Bay can be, that ANYTHING more than a decimal point of a positive integer was considered FUCKING AWESOME?

It's like shit, all this cool and awesome robots. Coming to LIFE. ON THE BIG SCREEN. With all the coolness of today's oh-so-advanced tech and the crazy amount of sponsors (bloody obvious product placements. damn shameless). And THAT'S IT? THAT WAS IT? THAT'S ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH?

Which leads me to my next point.

WHO. FUCKING. CARES. ABOUT. THE. BLOODY. PUNY. HUMANS!
STOMP. CRUSH. KILL. FUCK THEM. WHO GIVES A SHIT GODDAMNIT. THIS IS TRANSFORMERS. GIVE US ROBOTS. IF THEY WANTED TO FOCUS ON THE HUMANS THEN THEY SHOULD GO MAKE ANOTHER FUCKING MOVIE FOR THE FUCKING HUMANS GAHHHH!

PLUS. All that fan servicing and generous cleavage shots was so cheap. As if the boys really need MORE reasons to WANT to watch Transformers are you bloody kidding me.

Fine. I'm being enviousjealousbitter. So sue me motherfuckers.

Yeahyeahyeah the girl is so very hot and with a body like that looks like she just walked out of an under aged porn movie set you wish you could fuck her too etc etc etc.

But if I pay good money to go watch Transformers. I fucking EXPECT to get to watch Transformers. Period.

Third thing: THAT WAS THE SHITTIEST ABRUPTEST ENDING. EVAR.
It's like midway through the battle scenes they realised that they ran out of budget.

"Cut! Just got a call from our accountants. We're broke. We've spent every last cent on making all the robots look pretty. Now we don't have anymore money to make the movie right. Just end it like this. Yes. Okay. They'll lap it up anyway WHAT? I mean hello? They should be grateful that WE bothered putting those damn robots on the big screens in the first place so those suckers will lap up WHATEVER it is we feed them with. They should be bloody worshiping us like HEROES! Like GODS! Hell okay. I'll EVEN throw in generous amounts of cleavage shots for good measure. OKAY? Now wrap it up boys."

Mahai. -_-"

End rant.

That being said, I will watch it again. Because watching them transform was worth all the vodka in Poland.

Prime Can Be Kawaii Too.
Prime wants to be kawaii too (Thanks eyeris! Hehe!)

Kthxbai.

31 comments:

  1. That's MY helmet! MY optimus Prime helmet!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    FA: You suckerrrrrrr! hehehe

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  2. Oh god... someone actually bothered to buy the helmet...

    *sniggers*

    The movie wasn't THAT bad ok. It was a modern day interpretation of the Transformers, and a good makeover. Enough reel time for the TF's? I'd say sufficient.

    And this is coming from a TF fan.

    Your rant does not apply :P

    FA: I didn't say it was bad.

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  3. fuck u humans. i don't give a shit about u

    FA: My sentiments exactly.

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  4. i liked it. The transformation was just ecstatic... its like being on some drugs. Childhood dreams coming alive... ahhh...

    megan fox is so-darn-hot.. damn. But her parts were quite lame actually. but again, as suanie says, who gives a shit about the humans.

    i also found prime's monologue really funny. sure it fit the mood and everything... but but but, its cheesy isn't it???

    glad i watched it tho. too bad starscream got away for Transformers II...

    FA: When there were robots, it was awesome. When there weren't robots, it wasn't so awesome.

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  5. But this is the entire point isn't it?

    *chuckles*

    I just so love pissing each other off.

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  6. i wouldn't mind touching you at all, but it'll be goddamn expensive lor, fly all the way back just for one touch. UP THE ANTE AND I'LL ACCEPT THE OFFER!

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  7. FA! Where'd you get the Optimus Prime helmet? Heard it was up for grabs on Traxx FM man.. XD

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  8. you know... they need to spend approximately 38 hours to render 1 frame of CGI animation there. want more robots... i think we will only be able to watch it in 2010.

    Anyway, when you watch it again... pay attention to the reflection of the porsche dealer shop... you can actually see the filming crews' reflection.

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  9. i think if they showed more fighting scenes, i'll be too much. i also think that what they have portrayed is good enough. =D

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  10. i will b watching it tomorrow... in btw, how much is the blardy fucking cool helmet???

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  11. Hahaha! You're so cute.

    I don't leave many comments but I lurk a lot around here. Looking forward to more posts.

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  12. *attempts to fold your hand in between your legs*

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  13. WOMAN! don't know if u remember - ive been lurking yah

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  14. I thought it was terrible and in some cases painful to watch. Too many awkward and unintentional laugh-out-loud moments.

    And the Aussie chick was better looking than Megan Fox. That face just disturbs me.

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  15. Oh my gosh, I must be the only one who hasn't watched it yet after all the awesome reviews!!! (I dunno if yours is counted). Hehehe.

    And the optimus prime helmet shot... hahaha... priceless.

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  16. I so freaking agree with you. The movie brought back a lot of great childhood memories, seeing them actually transform on the big screen was blardy awesome and it was a fun movie but damn it coulda been soooooo much better.

    *spoiler alert*

    Storyline? Virtually non-existant/ridiculously inconsequential. The story jumps back and forth between characters who barely receive any kind of character development, which makes me wonder...why put them in there in the first place.

    Everyone else is mad serious about saving the world and then there's Sector 7 guy who seems to have spawned out from some Saturday morning cartoon?

    Optimus Prime, oh great and noble leader of the Autobots was often out of character. When has Prime ever stepped on something and gone 'Oops, my bad."

    Anyone else cry when Jazz was ripped in half? No? My point exactly. And the ending? Abrupt. What happened exactly? Prime shoulda just told the inconsequential homosapien to give him the cube so he could stick it in Megatron's chest...game over.

    Megan Fox was the REAL transformer...She managed to 'transform' that nerd into the envy of all men!

    I want to like it, I really do, but deep down I can't help but feel disappointed.

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  17. > Anyone else cry when Jazz was ripped in half?

    I did. Jazz is my favorite Autobot of ALL TIME. :( :( :( :(


    FA: You geeks.

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  18. "WHO. FUCKING. CARES. ABOUT. THE. BLOODY. PUNY. HUMANS!
    STOMP. CRUSH. KILL. FUCK THEM. WHO GIVES A SHIT GODDAMNIT."

    it's so obvious u're a Decepticon in disguise...

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  19. When Prime appeared last while the other bots were fighting in the city and Megatron was simply all over the other Autobots, man...I swear to god I turned into a 5 year old for a moment there.

    Almost wanted to shout out "It's about time you arrive! You better kick some ass, Optimus Prime!!"

    In the end he got his kicked instead -_-"

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  20. fortunately for me, the good points outweighed the bad.

    now enuff of this.. take off that helmet and pout for me..

    heh.

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  21. I'm glad to find yet another person (so far you are only the third, not including myself) who was not happy with the movie. Everybody else is too busy going "IT FUCKING ROCKS" to notice just how much it sucked.

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  22. IT FUCKING ROCKS IT FUCKING ROCKS IT FUCKING ROCKS IT FUCKING ROCKS IT FUCKING ROCKS IT FUCKING ROCKS

    FA: You're just bluffing yourself you know. :P But I'll still watch it a couple more times. hehehehe.

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  23. 'WHO. WANTS. TO. FUCKIN̢۪. TOUCH. ME?!?!?!'

    Okay, there could be some nasty lawsuit involved if people touch you in the wrong spots, so you're going to have to get one of those rag dolls and indicate to the nice policeman where you don't want to be touched so that everyone knows and can avoid those areas.

    Then, fly to Perth and let me touch you in areas you say are okay to be touched! :-)

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  24. http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2308

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  25. I would like to touch you.

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  26. bitch bitch bitchingggggggg

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  27. all the vodka in poland? ALL? u sure about that?

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  28. Dudes 'n' dudettes . . . everyone, you GOT to check out the online game at the official movie website . . .

    http://www.transformersgame.com/

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  29. wish you dont use so much F words. i mean u looked pretty n nice but the swearing kinda spoil it. i know la. u r who u r n u dun motherfucking care. but well, i guess without swearing, it wud be nicer lo....

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