The Warlords

ZOMG! ANDY! JET LI! TAKESHI! HOW TO PASS? CANNOT PASS! DEFINITELY NO PASSING THE YEAR WITHOUT WATCHING THIS MOVIE! I'm already giving it 3 stars (out of five) just based on the cast-list alone (Andy! Jet Li! Takeshi! ZOMG!). Actually, the pessimist in me said "All-star cast, bound to fuck up. Look at all the other Hollywood movies.".. but the optimist retorted with a "THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE LAH IDIOT". The optimist was right! It was good! IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD that Good isn't nearly enough to describe just how GOOD it was! Pay NO attention to the bullshit synopsis you read off Wikipedia's or GSC's website because it is ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. This is a fucking bloodthirsty WAR MOVIE which could FUCK YOU UP, and definitely NOT another stupid arty crouching Ang Lee tiger flying dagger hero gay romance disguised as a lame kung fu movie. Okay la, got elements of romance but it only takes up about 0.01% of airtime. Flying body parts! Lots of blood! BLOODY! CHOP! STAB! KICK! SHOOT! KILL KILL KILL! KILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! How the hell was this rated a "U"? Wah got emo part also. Wah shit - disturbing lah. Tokkok. Politic-ing. Scheming. Okay, timecheck. WOAH the soundtrack and the cinematography was so fantastic it could make a grown man so overwhelmed with complicated emotions, he breaks down crying. So. Damn. EPIC!!! Bold for emphasis, just in case you didn't get how EPIC!!! it was. Andy Lau really gets better with age. Jet Li got chubby but homeboy can still kick your ass and your mother's! Takeshi was a little too clean cut boyish good looking to fit - but I am So. NOT. Complaining. Unfortunately, the girl wasn't pretty at all - but WHO CARES SHE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

Disturbing, a teeny tiny bit draggy (Chinese serious movies tend to feel like that, IMHO), but great. A must watch.

Start the year with a good war movie. End the year with another good one. YEAY!

I Am Legend

I didn't read the book. So I didn't have the faintest clue what to expect from it. All I had was the trailer and it told me that Will Smith was the last man on earth, which faintly smells like "Castaway" IMHO. Yeah I know he isn't alone - he had a dog. Besides, how bad can a movie be with Will Smith AND a German Shepard in it? I love Will Smith. He rocks. I don't like ALL the movies he's been at, been in every movie he was in, he was good. Wah Luckily somebody spoiled the movie for me already so I was already expecting the er, unexpected. Can't go into details what it is but trust me, the first thought that may go through your mind AND your mouth out loud is "WHAT THE FUCK!!!?!?!?!?!" EH! Why is there a poster with the Superman & Batman logo merged together? WAH easter egg! For me, the pace of the movie a bit off. Beginning felt VERY LONG. Middle still felt like the beginning. Then when the end came... eh? Sudah habis cerita? Potong stim lah, all the slow ass build up towards it and THAT'S IT? SO SIMPLE? NO. SERIOUSLY. SOMETHING IS GONNA HAPPEN AFTER THIS RIGHT? WHAT??? THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING ALREADY? Mahai. Fucking anti-climax only. But watch it anyway because like very good wine, Mr Smith just gets better with age. And still bloody hot too.

AND I still have yet the watch Enchanted. :(

Tempted to catch The Golden Compass (I didn't read the book, so should be okay right, Eyeris?)

National Treasure 2? I dunno.. 1 wasn't that great, and pretty much forgettable.

I want to watch Warlords also. JET LI! TAKESHI! ANDY LAU! And have I mentioned, TAKESHI? TAKESHI! _drool_

OMG THE DARK KNIGHT! Actually the Joker is getting so much attention now it's more like THE JOKER. Poor Batman playing bridesmaid in his own movie. But that's only because Christian Bale has nothing to prove - except maybe how he'll manage to look as tall as, or taller than Heath Ledger, kekeke.

Have A Couple of Questions For All You Car Enthusiasts.

1. Why does the damn Myvi 1.3 auto guzzle so much petrol? I spend like 50 bucks in LESS than a week basically just driving back and forth work... and making pit stops at surrounding mega malls for a bite or kaikai.

2. Is there a way to make the car guzzle LESS petrol? I heard something about changing the air filter? That true? Any others?

I need specifics. Am a complete noob with car-ry jargons and lingos.

Thank you!

P/s: Yes, am guilty of speeding. The myvi IS knows to be draggy when changing gears, right? So stepping on it won't make it any better yeah?

My Chemical Romance Concert

I WAS THERE! (whoo hoo!)

THE RED AREA! RIGHT AT THE FRONT! (yeay!)

WITH THE SCREAMING SHOVING CRAZY KIDS! (bloody kids.)

AND THE RAIN! (bloody nonstop rain.)

WITH GERARD SCREAMING SHIT LIKE "I AM SORRY, MCR COULDN'T MAKE IT TODAY, BUT WE'RE THE AMERICAN SEX BOYS REPLACING THEM! I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT!" (with all that screaming, it sounded like the crowd were very fine with that)

AND GYRATING HIS HIPS LIKE A STRIPPER! (_drool drool drool_)

AND THE PIANIST IS AWESOME. (even when I was half deaf)

AND THE LEAD GUITARIST IS KINDA CUTE! (in the dark)

IT WAS QUITE AWESOME! (but not the Qing up and waiting for 45 minutes before they fucking showed up on stage)

WHO WANTS TO TOUCH ME!

I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!

(Damn, my body aches. Getting too old for this shit)

Thanks Eyeris! You rock my socks!!!! Remember yeah! I'm booking tickets for The Dark Knight next year!!!!!!!! :)

Don't Do This.

I was at the club last Friday celebrating a friend's last few days of freedom as a bachelor (hahahaha).

So I though, let's experiment. I'll refrain from indulging myself - because I got flat out wasted the weekend before and the trauma was still too fresh in my mind. I'll stay sober, I thoughtl Might be fun to see what's THAT like.

When I first started out clubbing (I was what? 23?), I barely drank. It was like ALL dancing, and ALL coke. Whiskey and vodka tasted like shit to me. I got high on oxygen and the fumes of drunken people around me.

Then I started drinking bit by bit. One sip there. One chug here. In time, I became like everybody else - I'm drinking as much as if not more than I dance. One step further, I'm getting drunk. Another level up, I'm puking once I reach home. Another, I'm puking in the toilet of the club. Finally - I drink till I pass out at random places.

Every time I do that, the whole passing out thing, remorse inevitably follows. And I'm thinking to myself "Mygod I'm 27 can't even hold my drinks WTF happened last night anyway shit I shouldn't do this anymore ohmygod this is bad the ground is moving argh my stomach hurts no more this is the last time". Before I know it I'm back in the club, chugging at everything that's stuffed at my face faster than you can say "mahatma ghandi".

So that night I drank minimum, and by the end of the night I'm only drinking Coke. I realise that I see and feel things so differently when I'm not imbibed, it made me wonder omg, just how much does drinking contributes to the amount of fun once has? Everybody around me is drinking, laughing, making friends with strangers, drinking some more, breaking glasses, spilling drinks, drinking some more, talking inaudibly, smiling, flirting, dancing like a brazen whore, hooking up - all those drunk happy faces! My god!

And there I was, sitting down, watching everybody, sober as mahatma ghandi - feeling downright BORED, bitching in my head about the bloody overplayed songs (UMBRELLA? FUCK YOU MR DJ), about the smoke getting into my eyes, smoke suffocating me, the damn whiskey being so bitter, and what is it so fucking dark? wtf people puking everywhere, watching other people "trying" to dance and wondering if I looked like THAT when I'm drunkdancing, and if I did then maybe I should NEVER drink again, and omg the toilet is so fucking disgusting wtf are they doing puking on the walls, oh god no more whiskey for me that shit's disgusting, please don't make me dance the songs suck, no no don't touch me like that - I don't know you that well omg stay away please.

Needless to say, I didn't quite enjoyed myself as much as I would've liked.

Being sober at a party sucks.

I'm NEVER doing this again.

My Mini Reviews.

Copying Eyeris's style of not a review review, but not quite. My review's format is going to be more like "spit everything out from my head right at the moment I'm typing it" sort. Short and sweet posts are good right? Yes, and so are updates.

Stardust
I have read the book and I kinda liked it. I have watched the movie and I liked it even MORE than the book! Movie was not exactly like the book, but it is so damn adorable you'll leave the theatre (only after the movie of course) with a goofy smile on your face and a warm feeling in your tummy. The cast was right, the scenes were right, the lines were right, the storytelling was right. The lead guy was damn lovable in a puppy-eyed sort of way. I did feel that somebody a bit more ethereal than Claire Danes should take her role, but I can't think of any names. Definitely NOT Kirsten Dunst, though. And Cate Blanchett's too old. Somebody younger. Easily one of my favourite movie of the year (tied top spot with 300!). It didn't try too hard to tell you a story, it just TOLD you the story - something which a lot of movies these days try too hard to do but just can't seem to get it right. Stardust got it just right.

Hitman
Lead character looks cool until he starts to speak. The way he lifelessly stares into the screen, right at me, as he swiftly disembowels yet another victim just makes me want to take him home and.... I can't freaking believe he was that floppy wristed disjointed hipped gay bad guy from Die Hard 4.0. Until he opens his yap, then try as hard as I can I just could NOT forget that he IS that floppy wristed disjointed hipped gay bad guy from Die Hard 4.0, which totally loses that bad-boy-sex-appeal. The girl is kind of goth hot but is totally pointless and is only there to spice it up with some sex, which we can see NONE of. Nobody can act for shit.The script murders IQ. The plot was... WHAT PLOT? Save money, play the damn game. Don't bother watching it.

I'm not even going to catch Beowulf - because watching fake Angelina Jolie on screen just doesn't it do it for me. But I might try to catch the Enchanted - because somebody told me that *I* would like it. Apparently this somebody reads my blog and KNOW that I'm an ANGRY, BITTER baby eating machine and YET this person thinks I might like it. If he is wrong, his first newborn I shall consume. You know who you are, so be afraid, because I KNOW where you live. Muahahahahaha!

Booze Parties For The Soul

Carlsberg invited a few of us to the launch of their sibling, Tuborg. Obviously the only way I get to go for any of this kind of good stuff is because I know femes bloggers like Suanie - yeay!


VIP okay, don't play play!

Kudos to Tuborg for bringing in the pull-off bottle cap! No more waiting for the damn bartender to pop open your bottle again! No more having to lug around a fancy shaped bottle opener for emergency drinking sessions ever again! And the pop sound it makes when you pull off the cap sounds like a deeper version of the pop sounds bubble wraps make when you pop it! It makes me want to pull off caps for everybody just to hear it go POP! Brilliant!


Which guy wouldn't want to be the GM marketing for Tuborg right now?

The highlight of the night for me was the dance performances. There were 2 groups performing. The first one was by a local b-boy group called GBC - Gila Battle Crew. I'm so proud to say that we actually have some fairly decent local breakdance groups in Malaysia! All those crazy outstanding stunts you think you can only catch on Youtube? The walking on the hands, the turning ON their head, the hand stand..... we saw it ALL and MORE that night.


GBC tengah posing gila.

And the second group were imports from Australia called The Next Step.

Please, let me first digree. Anybody who knows me well enough would know that when I was 10 I wanted to run away from home to join the Russian ballet troupe, or how I go crazy when I see any sort of synchronised group dancing (that's why I heart N'sync), or how my eyes glaze over when I watch figure skating and ballroom dancing competitions on tv, or how I HAVE TO HAVE TO catch movies with dancing themes in it, or how I stop breathing when I watch the wade robson project on mtv...... etc etc.

What I'm strying to say is, The Next Step took my breathe away, stopped my heart from beating, and made me breakout in cold sweat. Awesome does NOT even being to describe how fucking fantastic their performance was. What is so unique about this group is on that night, they seamlessly fuse together 3 styles of dancing in their performance - tap dancing, hip-hop AND breakdance to the music orgy of which includes everything from pop to house to latino.

And it didn't hurt that the tap dancers were bleeding hot too.

Yummmm!!!

I really wanted to sneak them home as a door gift, but I'm sure the organisers wouldn't be too happy with that.


Camwhoring with ST, Suanie and my very high forehead!

This is where I end my post with a thank you for the invites and a shameless plea to everybody to take me along for more booze parties, kthx!

(pictures brought to you by Suanie whom shall not be linked here only because she is linked basically everywhere else! :P Muaks!)

More:
Photos by Mike Yip
Obviously, Suanie was there too!
About The Next Step (thanks Suanie!)

P/s: On a totally unrelated note : MY STUPID BABY CANON DIGICAM IS FIXED! FOR FREE! Thank you so much all you nice people at Canon YOU ROCK! Eventhough I was secretly hoping for a brand spanking newer, slimmer camera model in exchange but HEY! I HAVE A CAMERA NOW! EVERYTHING IS A-OKAY! YEAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! COMING SOON! More shameless self-portraits of MEMEME to haunt you in your sleep, while you brush your teeth, when you pay your taxes.....

WJS 5122

Yeah you. The cockfag driving that champagne coloured Honda who SUDDENLY cut into my lane at a TURNING without signalling.

I hope you die of the most embarrassing most painful venereal disease known to mankind which rots your slimy smelly puss covered dick until it falls off. Your mother should've left you to the wolves when she could, what was she thinking?

Real Life Fairytale.

I'm tired and not well rested. Apart from it being a dreaded Monday, today feels like nothing went right over the weekend.

I like fairytales. I wish I was living in one. Except, I don't want to be THAT useless, dependent, skanky, damsel in distress princess who sits around and wait for some stupid rich handsome prince in his majestic white steed to save me from a tall tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon where we will then ride into the sunset, back to his castle and live happily ever after.

In my fairytale, I want a stupid stable 9-5 job I actually don't hate which pays me enough money to live my current lifestyle comfortably without my having to worry about budgeting, or when is the next price revision of EVERYTHING and perhaps fall in love with a simple, sensible, guy with a 9-5 job who shares some similar interests and loves me back like I love him, and if I'm lucky, maybe he won't give me too much trouble, or have me worry about him too much... Then once we're both financially comfortable, maybe we'll get married, open a joint account (apart from our own personal accounts; where we'll contribute a percentage of our pay into it every month) and get a cozy place for ourselves - with a dog please. On the weekdays we'll just chill out at home after work, sipping at our drinks to wind down while we catch our favourite tv series. We'll have our fights. We'll make up. We'll have our trips and holidays in faraway places, we'll indulge in good food when we like to, buy that toy or pretty thing we want, take a drive to a local island on long weekends, catch the movies we want to catch, hit the gym. Then maybe we'll have kids.

I'm not asking for any fucking 10,000 dollar handbag. I don't need a pretentious overpriced fast car. I don't need that stupid holiday villa at venice. I don't want Karl Lagerfield to design my clothes. I don't want a private jet. I don't need a diamond mine. I don't even want a stupid large stone on my finger. I don't want 10 maids to bring up my children. I don't need a brad pitt. I don't want to quit my job and live the life of a tai tai. I don't need to be famous. I don't need that latest most expensive electronic gadget. I don't need a guy who can afford to buy me everything and anything I might ever want, or don't want.

I want an average life, with some niceties sprinkled here and there, that'll be perfect. I know this world is some tough shit. I don't need an extravagant happily ever after. I just want my happily ONCE in a while.

Sure I dream about greater things. About shooting for the stars, and hoping to land among the clouds. Then I wake up to this... real life. And in the real life, if you're not born into the right family, even the simplest dreams are so hard to achieve. That is, if it that dream doesn't involve a plan trying to snare some rich, loaded "prince" to cater for your every whim and fancy, unlike a lot of girls I know and heard about, which disgusts me to no end. That's just not right lah, imho. Coz at the end of the day don't you want to look back and know that you achieved something for myself with yourown two hands? I do.

What's wrong with not expecting for too much? What's wrong with not dreaming big? What's wrong with being happy with just the simple things? Be the best daughter, sibling, friend, employee, companion, or (maybe) parent one can possibly be. Fuck when you think about it, that's no simple feat, okay.

In the end, I'm just an average person, who looks forward to simple pleasures like sleeping-in on a rainy day and catching a good movie. Trying to live my life the best I can. It's not SUPER - but it's so very stable and reliable. Realistic. Constant and comfortable. I like it.

I don't mind being mediocre. What's with the inflated price of everything and the almost no power of purchase with our shitty $$$ - today's world is so tough that even average is just so hard to BE.

I'm happy leaving being super to the cartoons.

Besides, the guy I fall in love with should treat me like a princess and pamper me once in a while. :)

But hey, that's just me!

Happy Monday.

Milo Replied!

Remember this?

Milo replied! But the response was damn boring lah... standard issue template. Called me "sir" some more. So disappointing.

Anyway, because sharing is caring, here it is, just for you!

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for contacting MILO website. There is no secret.........Just prepare MILO according to the instructions on our label to get that perfect drink. Should you have further clarifications, please call our Free phone 1800-88-3433 during office hours and our representative will be happy to assist you.

Regards.

Nestlé Consumer Services

On another note: WERE YOU STUCK IN THAT STUPID JAM TODAY? STUPID STUPID STUPID.
And another: OI. WHY YOU CALL ME CHUBBY!

WATCH THIS1

Like plays?
Like Patrick Teoh?

Then you'll like this:



A chockfull of Patrick Teoh goodness for an ENTIRE HOUR for what an amazing price of only RM30!!!!!11one

I paid a good RM30 to watch this last night, so you KNOW this is not just any "helping out a friend to advertise it because I watched it for free" shit.

Take heed though, it IS a play directed by Gavin Yap, which means.... well if you don't know what it means then there's no point for me to tell you anything more than LEAVE YOUR UNDERAGED KIDS AT HOME.

Hurry! Last 2 days!

Ok, back to work.

Party Like A Blogger.

@ Heineken Extra Cold Beer Launch

Heineken just launched their extra cold (less than 0 degrees!! ZOMG! Can. Not. Resist. Novelty.) beer. Some of us were invited for this event because they know we'll take loads and loads of shameless pictures and everybody knows that shameless pictures make great product placements.

It's fantastic that brewers are finally realising that beer can only be consumed ONE way - COLD… else it tastes like cowpiss.

BUT! You can only get Heineken Extra Cold Beer ONLY through:
1. Selected merchants with the special super duper canggih extra cold tap
2. Selected merchants with the special super duper canggih extra cold freezer.

If I'm not mistaken, Velvet Underground is one of the selected merchants... I don't know where else and I wished I was paying attention, but I was too busy guzzling free beer (I'd sell my soul for free stuff) and listening to the awesome music that was being spun by some awesome DJs.... whom I've sadly forgotten their names.

The bottle was so cold that if you left it by itself the surface of the liquid actually turns into ICE. It's so cold that if you drink it too fast your tongue gets numb and your brains freezes over.

I like it. Except for the part where I NEED to wear gloves to drink this thing.

And the following show illustrate how a typical blogger might party:


1. Get free beer from some random hotchick (grr)


2. Camwhore with fellow bloggers. Pay special attention to a) Show how much fun you're having b) Display name of free stuff prominently.


3. Yum Seng. Consume. Repeat Step #1.


4. Repeat Step #2.


5. Repeat step #4 over and over. Take a break by repeating step #1 periodically.

6. So long and thanks for all the booze!

7. Dread the next WORKING day. (I really wished people will NOT hold free flow booze events on a weekday. In KL. Most of us losers actually HAVE dayjobs.)

Pictures were brought to you by Suanie & ShaolinTiger. Many thanks from a poor blogger who can’t afford to buy herself a new digicam.

More:
Kinkybluefairy
Suanie.net
Kimberlycun
ST
BossStewie

Random Act Of The Day

"Hi there, I have been wondering for ages, how to recreate the milo drink to taste exactly like the ones which are distributed from the milo truck. This has been bugging me and all my friends since childhood. I would appreicate it very much if you could share the recipe, which I hope is not an industry secret. Please, please, please. Thanks! :)"

I hope they reply.

I Love Parties.

There's nothing like a party with unlimited supply of free booze to make me happier than Pooh swimming in a pool of honey.

So please invite me to more events and ply me with LOTS of free alcohol, thanks.

More after the weekend.

Happy weekend! :)

I Want. I Want. I Want.

I want more money. I want a better job. I want a bigger car. I want my own place. I want Ikea furnitures. I want to tour the world. I want to stop working. I want a diamond ring. I want a roomful of my favourite alcohol. I want more time. I want more sleep. I want to pamper myself with a nice long spa. I want to eventually marry a nice, rich handsome guy who loves me blindly and whole heartedly. I want to stop searching for happiness. I want more hair. I want bigger boobs. I want to be taller. I want bigger eyes. I want a better complexion. I want an elder brother. I want foreign brands to stop inflating their prices by 5 times. I want to work overseas. I want to migrate. I want to go back to Sydney one more time. I want people to blog not for money, but because they WANT to. I want to be in paris and venice for my honeymoon. I want to go Scotland. I want to celebrate saint patrick's day in Ireland. I want to club in London. I want to see the pretty people in New York. I want people to stop abusing their religion. I want all my high school gfs to come back and I want things to be as they were because I miss them so much. I want an awesome digital camera. I want justice for all and without prejudice. I want to eat lobster sashimi. I want to be born with crazy music talent. I want my sister to stop being a spoilt brat. I want all my friends to bloody stop getting married because I'm getting broke, running out of things to wear, and feeling left behind. I want to drink everyday for fun. I want to win a lottery. I want my water to be clean without having to filter it. I want to keep fit without having to go to the gym or watch my diet. I want to eat a good creme brulee. I want stupid MPs to die. I want you to just know what I'm thinking and feeling without me having to tell you. I want everybody to like me. I want to work in an MNC. I want to be famous. I want to go clubbing every weekend, for free. I want to act in a movie. I want my happily ever after. I want to be able to sing like an angel. I want to touch Brad Pitt and Takeshi. I want to be able to afford the things I like. I want to have my own bar at home. I want a stronger water pressure upstairs. I want endless legs. I want clubs to stop overcharging for watered down, shitty drinks. I want them to stop airing stupid mindless cartoons. I want my artists to come here and perform without restrictions. I want smaller thighs. I want to try wagyu beef. I want an Ipod touch. I want flowers. I want my brother to be home more often. I want a superfast computer with a the fastest internet connection. I want my family to always be happy and taken care of. I want to play the drums. I want a newer, better phone. I want longer eyelashes. I want more holidays. I want to kick Michael Jackson on his ass for fucking himself up. I want liquour to be cheaper. I want nicer shoes. I want a Labrador puppy. I want more bags. I want funkier earrings. I want our education system to stop sucking. I want to catch up on all the good movies I've missed. I want nicer clothes. I want to buy all the pretty cosmetics. I want the RM to be stronger. I want petrol to be cheaper. I want lower tax. I want higher wages. I want my RM2.50 fishball meehoon, chicken rice back. I want a home theatre system. I want our radio DJs to be less annoying. I want my government to do a better job. I want media to show real stories. I want 1% of Bill Gates wealth. I want all bartenders to be able to make a decent LIT and margarita. I want to go on a cruise. I want stupid people to die.

I want to stop wanting things and just be happy with what I've got.

But I'm only human.

Will You Be Walking Too?

Hi I'm back... and busy with all the backlog.

Quick question to quench my curiosity: is anybody taking part in that perhimpunan 100 ribu rakyat thingy on the 10th November 2007 from Dataran Merdeka to Istana Negara?

It sure sounds like good exercise to me.

Away

Hi. Will be overseas for the week. Feel free to browse through my old posts - see what sort of a loser I am, pity me, then buy me several drinks. Or give me money. I love money.

Updates when I'm back, have a good week all!

Is There Any Feeling Worse Than This?

Hearing your tummy rumble where you instantly realise that this is the sort of rumble which means you got food poisoning, in the middle of the highway, stuck in slow traffic, on the way to work, knowing full well that you're not even half way there yet.

What's worse?

Happy Long Weekend!

It feels like a Saturday already....!

To all Muslims, Happy Hari Raya, drive safely and enjoy all your raya goodies!

To all non-muslims, Happy Holidays and enjoy the lack of traffic for the next few days!

MAC Sucks Big Dick.

This post was drafted many months ago... but it was shelved and forgotten, until I came across THIS post - which reignited my furious anger and reminded me why I drafted up the post in the first place.

Before any of you stevejobs OMGIWILLSUCKYOURDICKFORANIPHONE fanbois jump all over me preaching about how he is the chosen one and will SAVE US ALL and that I should burn in hell for heresy and desecrating THE ONE, I am not referring to Mac the product from the same manufacturer of the infamous white coloured piece of overpriced chip which hosts your music and video. I am referring to MAC the cosmetic brand.

So, why does MAC suck big dick?

Reason Number 1:
I've always thought MAC over overrated. Have you seen the printed ads for MAC? If you have, I am sure it is very very VERY difficult to NOT notice how gory and garish the models on their ads are. There is NO way in this life time, hell or heaven, will you EVER be able to pull their shit off in public without making babies cry, dogs growl, and everyBODY starepoint at you whispering among themselves wondering if you were a transgender stripper who's stuck in the 80s. The only WAY you can pull off their makeup and not have a mob throw stones at you is if:
a) you're a drag queen
b) ... working at a strip club
c) ... which has an ongoing 80s theme OR
d) you work at MAC

I mean come on, making up to look exactly like Barbie? Are you freaking kidding me?

Reason Number 2:
And has anybody noticed that MAC comes out with like a TRILLION different types of BRAND NEW LIMITED EDITION collections in a year? How many hues of orange, blue, red, pink, brown, purple blusher, eyeshadow and lipstick can there REALLY be?

so. What. Is. Their. Secret?

Packaging.

They use the freaking SAME set of colours and accessories for EVERY SINGLE COLLECTION. YEAR IN YEAR OUT.

Add some ribbons / frills/ patches / leather. Slap on the "limited edition" sticker and "while stocks last" and VOILA! BRAND NEW COLLECTION, SUCKERS!

I have to admit that the packaging (suckergirl's kryptonite) really makes me just want to OWN their stuff because it's a SO CUTE and I JUST TO HAVE IT - but I always managed to stop myself after realising plastic surgery costs just about the same.

Reason Number 3 and the BIGGEST REASON WHY MAC SUCKS BIG DICK:
Their sales assistant have the lousiest attitudes and make you feel like you're not good enough for their products.. which hey.. are pretty shit to begin with for that price you're paying for.

Once you enter the store every single one of their sales assistants SHALL critically evaluate you. YOU SHALL be stare at. YOU SHALL endure the sales assistants while they eyeball you from top to bottom. To Top. They SHALL NOT subtle about it.

Then they SHALL judge and classify you into 2 categories and SHALL serve you according to the category you have been classified under, ie:

Category 1:
You look like a million bucks
Who:
drag queens, people who wear as much makeup as the sales assistants (think of 80s pop stars), mistresses of Datuks, somebody Famous, Datins who drizzle in jeweleries just begging to be robbed, people wearing designer EVERYTHING.
Type of service:
Smiley, courteous, go all out to please you that even when you fart, they'll exclaim how it smells of jasmines and gardenias.

Category 2:
You DON'T look like a million bucks
Who:
EveryBODY else.
Type of service:
The stare, and the "Who the fuck are you, and what the fuck are you doing here " look.

And these are the MAC sales assistants with their 5 inch thick face painted bitches who overload on black "cross between goth smoldering and jack sparrow" eyeliner, "the IT clown meets Priscilla queen of the dessert" eye makeup, dripping "dolly parton look" lipgloss , crazy homeless people hobo hair.... and the women are even worst.

Stylish? Classy? Too good for everybody else? My ASS.

I know I'm sounding bitter (Fuck you MAC @ megamall), but I KNOW for a fact that every OTHER girls who has visited a MAC store were also treated the same shitty service, if not worse.

(This does not apply to some of the sales assistants at MAC @ KLCC - they are actually quite nice, and might get fired because it's probably not company policy to be NICE without prejudice.)

And that is why I'm NEVER stepping foot into a MAC store ever again.

Because I'm worth it.

....and the makeup on their sales assistants gives me nightmares.

(Ettusais, Skinfood, and every other friggin' Asian cosmetic brands ftw!)

On Fly.fm This Morning

Do you work?
Do you work in the mornings?
Do you drive to work?
Do you have a working radio in the car?

If you answered yes to all the above, then I bet at least HALF of you listen to FLY.FM.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING RIGHT!

TEENY BOPPER MUSIC COMPLETELY TOOK OVER THE STATION! ZOMG! THEY PLAYED NOTHING BUT OLD SCHOOL BOY BANDS GIRL POWER GROUP SONGS YOU HAVEN'T HEARD SINCE EMO PUNKBANDS AND GRUNGE ANGRY LITTLE YOUNGSTERS TOOK OVER AND IT WAS THE MOST HARDCORE MOST AWESOMENEST THING EVER MY EYEBALLS NEARLY POPPED OUT OF MY SOCKETS OUT OF DISBELIEF! I was completely fuckall ECSTATIC!

I mean, they even played songs from NKOTB!!!! TAKE THAT!!! 911!!!!!oneoneone

I'm a little ashamed to admit that YES I do like teenybopper music! I DO! It's so refreshingly AWESOME once in a while.... except for THAT point of time when every single radio station was playing the same songs on a loop for weeks and months until it started to sound more like fingernails scrapping across the blackboard and you start to hate it and swore if they ever played that song ever again you'll go on a killing rampage and EAT little furry animals... why do they keep doing that?

I digress. Teenybopper songs are like a guilty pleasure. Just like junkfood! You KNOW junkfood is pretty much shit and bad for you and if you eat too much of it you'll get really sick in the stomach..... but when you have that craving you just HAVE TO HAVE THAT SHITTY BURGER / FRIES / ICE-CREAM / FRIED CHICKEN / PIZZA! Teenybopper music is JUST. LIKE. JUINKFOOD. Without the calories!

This morning was basically a FULL ON karaoke session all the way to work!!! Hell I wanted the traffic to be BAD today JUST so I could spend MORE time in the car listening to music junkfood BUT NO! TODAY THE TRAFFIC WAS SUCH A BREEZE!!! WHAT THE FUCK! TODAY! OF ALL DAYS! IT DIDN'T JAM TODAY!

I didn't even want to get out of my car after I parked it. :(

Whaat?!?!?!?! I have a very varied taste in music OKAY!

Come on lah admit it okay. ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU had a THING going on for at LEAST ONE boyband / girlgroup. Hate them or love them, you can NOT deny that eventhough most of them can't REALLY sing, their songs are too corny and catchy to forget! You KNOW the lyrics! You request for them at karaokes! YOU DANCE TO THEIR REMIXES AT CLUBS! And ironically it's GUYS lose their HEADS over them too! DON'T LIE!

Ok ok, so let's get the ball rolling - RELEASE YOUR INNER TEENYBOPPER!

Who do you dig? What were your favourite songs?

I heart Nsync. Not only were their songs fucking catchy (I only liked their upbeat songs), but when they do their synchronised dance moves I just go fucking batshit INSANE.

I also had a thing for 911 when they first came out with the first album "You got my body shaking.... sends a shiver to my soul.... I didn't get no warning... you got me shaking to the bone!!!" AHHAHAHAHAEHAHEHAEH..IT WAS SO INFECTIOUS! YOU LIKE IT TOO RIGHT!!!!!1111one

Wah I'm still so excited. Hahahah.

Okay, your turn..... and don't be shy!

P/s: I just wrote to them via their FIX IT form, requesting this teeny bopper takeover thing to be a permanent every Friday thing! I know I know, I'm losing my head here and you'll never see me the same way again but SO WHAT ZOMG It'S AWESOME! Hahaha Today is a happy day! AND it's a Friday too! Happy weekend! :)

Me vs Them

I drive a perodua.
Some of the trainees drive a mini, merc, honda civic, or some other super duper space age sports car with a million horse powered twin turbo engine plus an exhaust pipe the size of a baby head to boot.. not to mention the other cars that they OWN.

I wear a beat up swatch watch.
Some of the trainees are wearing rolexes .

I'm wearing shirts which don't fit well and are either 5 years old, or just bought at the recent megasale at a discount.
Some of the trainees are wearing sharp, crisp, wrinkle-free shirts which fit them like second skin and requires CUFFLINKS that costs at least a few hundred bucks more.

I own ONE full suit I bought from parkson at a megasale.
Some of the trainees are wearing custom made designer suits.

I mostly have my makans at mamak stalls and similar-priced stalls.
Some of the trainees talk about eating at hotels, and pishy poshy places with names that you can't even pronounce.

I'm 27. With all the pretty paper qualifications and about 6 years of full-time work experience under my belt.
Some of the trainees are at most 23 years old. 0 years of work experience.

....

Study hard mum said. Get all your As. Get a good job. Work hard. You'll make it, mum said.

It seems like she was wrong. It seems like working hard all my life got me nowhere.

It seems like the only way to be able to MAKE IT in this country is
a) to be born into a rich family or
b) marry into one.

It seems like this rat race is just one big fucking scam, and I'm the last one to know about it.

LIES. ALL LIES.

Today, I feel like giving up.

WMB 6724

Hey you.

Yes you, cockfag son of a uncivilised shit eating Neanderthal in the light brown coloured Toyota.

Maybe because you're a retard and they give out special licenses where you don't have to go through a normal driving school like the rest of us plebs had to to PASS our driving test and therefore, didn't know certain rudimentary driving etiquettes and regulations. Maybe you did, but somehow you couldn't compute and retain this information because it was just too profound and complex for your teeny tiny peabrain because you are afterall a RETARD. Either way, here is a refresher, with my compliments.

Do you know what a steering wheel is? Yes, it's that round contraption right in front of you which you use to STEER your car (hence STEERING WHEEL). I noticed that even with a brain of yours which is clearly underdeveloped even for a dung beetle that you already know very well how your steering wheel works.

But did you also notice that behind your steering wheel there is a phallic-like object which sticks out the right side? That is where your indicators are. Notice if you lightly push it down, there will be an arrow pointing to the left which flashes to your right in front of you. If you push it up a little, an arrow pointing to the left will flash instead. FREAKING AWESOME RIGHT? It is a very useful tool to use when, instead of going straight, you'd like to turn to either your left and right. This is called - INDICATING. or SIGNALLING.

So, in the future, whenever, if you EVER, decide with that TEENY TINY puny snail underused brain of yours that you ever feel like, for any fucking reason at all, you suddenly have that itch to make sudden turns into other people's lanes when you're just inches ahead from the car behind you , it would be very VERY FUCKING advisable to SIGNAL OR INDICATE BEFOREHAND - BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY FUCKING TEACH YOU IN NORMAL PEOPLE'S DRIVING SCHOOL YOU FUCKING BALLMUNCHING ASSWIPE SCUM OF THE SEWERS WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU A FERAL CHILD BROUGHT UP BY A PACK OF MAGGOTS? HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT FUCKING KNOW THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SIGNAL BEFORE EATING INTO PEOPLE'S LANE?!?!?

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WITH YOU IDIOTS MAKING SUDDEN CUTS INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S LANE, WEAVING IN AND OUT LANES AS IF YOU'RE A MAT REMPIT ON YOUR KAPCHAI (fucking MOTORBIKES! let's not even GO THERE!) WHEN IT'S FUCKING CLEAR TO EVERYBODY AND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE DRIVING A FUCKING FOUR WHEELED AUTOMOBILE! DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING DEATH WISH?!?!? WELL I DO NOT!!! YOU DO NOT OWN THE FUCKING ROAD. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING INDESTRUCTIBLE. YOUR STUPID CHEAP OVERPRICED CAR IS NOT A FUCKING TANK.

I SWEAR. IF I EVER SEE YOU CAR DOING THIS TO ME AGAIN - I WILL SEE TO IT THAT MY CAR ASS FUCKS YOUR CAR SO BAD THAT THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR STICKS UP YOUR FUCKING ASS, COMES OUT THROUGH YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH AND YOU WILL FUCKING WISH THAT YOU WERE NEVER BORN WITH A BLOODY SHIT HOLE YOU FUCKING VOMIT EATING ANIMAL FUCKING PUS FILLED DISEASED DICKHEAD.

And this goes out to every single one of you IDIOTS with SHIT for brains who do NOT signal too.

Please for the love of god, SIGNAL BEFORE YOU TURN. IT REALLY ISN'T THAT DIFFICULT!

Sekian.

Happy Birthday KY!

Somebody finally hit the pretty big three-0h. :)


OH HERRO! I IS KY. IN YOUR RESTAURANT. PWNING JOO!

May your kois live a long and happy fat life.

May you always find good and cheap food to eat.

May you idiotic lame sense of humour never die.

.... and may your liquour bottles at home never be empty. :)

Many happy returns of the day, bitch.

:)

Guilty Pleasures.

My kryptonites, in no particular order.

1. Ultimate Long Island Tea from TGIF
2. Millionaire Margaritas from Las Carretas, actually ALL margaritas there are kickass
3. Cosmetics and skin cares in VERY pretty packaging (especially the new Jap and Korean brands which are taking over the Malaysian scene)
4. Salmon sashimi
5. Puppies (not to eat) (no, really)
6. Stationery or art supply shops. BIG ones.
7. Lobster sashimi too, okay okay.
8. Freezing cold beer in a frozen chilled mug on a hot sweaty humid day.

Erm. When I think of more, I'll update it.

What's yours?

Somebody's 26 Oledi...

Sorry couldn't put this up earlier. No PC at home and I don't work weekends anymore.....

Happy Belated Birthday Suanie!!! You are great!



Many happy returns of the week! :)

XOXOXOXO!

(I wanted to post a comment on your blog.. but there were ngam ngam 26 comments, didn't want to spoil the pretty number, hehe)

Answering The Question.

It's that point of time where every blogger in their blogging life would have to sit down and seriously ponder over the one question which affects life, the universe and everything.

Why do I blog?

On Fireangel.tblog
In 2004, when blogging was still fairly unheard of in this part of the planet, I blogged at fireangel.tblog. Back then I was anonymous, and pretty damn anal about keeping my anonymity. It was a place where I could rant without prejudice, pour out my personal thoughts without care, share with the cyberworld my personal life without worries. It was easy then. I was under the belief that hiding behind a pseudonym gave me this superpower to be just another faceless, nameless "today I ate cereal and hated the world" blogger.

Thanks to tblog I made friends. Got to realise that hey not everybody you meet online are psychokillers just waiting to rape and kill you and your pet. Thanks to blogging, I've met some pretty colourful personalities, met and forged awesome friendships.

Back then I had just about oh.. no readers? So everytime when there was ONE comment I'd go all batshit crazy insane ZOMG I HAVE A COMMENT?!?!? PEOPLE ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTANCE!!!??!??! But hits didn't really matter. It's just a personal online (hahaha spot the oxymoron) journal mar. But for some odd reason, it got little bit more popular after awhile. I blame this on my fellow blogging friends who linked to my blog. So what happens? Links = hits = exposure.

Exposure is a double edged sword. Sure if makes you feel good "ZOMG I HAVE LIKE 35 READERS I AM GREAT", BUT unfortunately this means that you are also more exposed to the masses - you're not so anonymous anymore. Random readers who read you might know you, but you do NOT know who they are, and what are their intentions.

People were beginning to discover who the mastermind behind fireangel.tblog was. My secret identity was no longer secret. Friends who knew me in real life were reading me. Friends of friends of friends in real life were reading me. People's parents reading me. Their dog... their dog's mother. All that's flattering. But people whom I didn't want reading my blog were reading me too. That, I didn't like.

I didn't like that I had to censor and control myself. I mean, I was already doing that in real life, if I was going to do this on my not-so-anonymous blog then really, WHAT'S THE POINT OF GOING ON ANYMORE? Blogging was supposed to be an OUTLET for me! Not a fucking EXTENSION of my pathetic real life!

Must've blogged at tblog for over a year before the paranoia hit me and I felt like it was best for me to KILL IT. And kill it I did. For good I thought it was. I thought I've had it with blogging. But I was so wrong - because I'm just this ANGRY person, I really needed a place to rant. To unwind. To let it all out. What I really felt. Or thought. It was barely a couple of months before... OH HERRO fuckstress.blogspot

On Fuckstress.blogspot
Fucktress.blogspot would be the spawn of fireangel.tblog. I thought I was being clever yeah. Changed the name. Changed hosting. told nobody except close blogging friends who knew my real identity. All was dandy and sunflowers and I blogged status quo. Ranted. Raved. It was personal and honest again. No holds barred. No worries. I was anonymous again yeay! I could write any damn thing I want and everybody (save the few of them) would be none the wiser!

Then came the PPS first anniversary party..... sigh. The camwhore in me came out and there were pictures of me everywhere and once again my anonymity was gradually compromised. Friends found my blog. Friends of friends of friends found my blog. People's parents. Their dog.... their dog's mothers....whoah! Dejavu!

I was careless. I forgot that I had wanted to remain anonymous.

The hits came lah. Hundreds of them. Pretty good I thought, for a blog with the language command of a feral animal and with the grossly lacking (zero) of "camwhoring i am so kawaii" photos.

I was flattered and at the same time, gradually becoming more paranoid AGAIN - with good reason too. I found out that people I didn't want reading my blog whom I knew in real life were lurking around my blog (AGAIN) - AND reacting to my posts. Who knows what the hell were they trying to do, or achieve.

So after 2 years, fuckstress.blogspot had to DIE!11111111one.... but not just before the birth of fireangelism.com

On Fireangelism.com
I intended for fireangelism.com to be UNLIKE my other 2 blogs. I realised that for some odd reason, if you blog long enough, traffic will come. Hey it happened on both of the other blogs, didn't it? Plain looking blogs with nothing but random words splattered around. And still the people came. WHAT FOOLS!!!!!! AHAAHAHAHAHHAHA! koff

So I made up my mind NOT to be anonymous with this one, and because I won't be anonymous, I would put up this shameless, drunkard, camwhoring, shallow persona (The real me is all that and more!) who writes mostly about frivolous things like drinking, baby eating and other like fun things. I would cut down on raw, thoughtful personal writings (aka rants & raves). I wouldn't write about my real life openly or in detail for all to read and judge. I gave into shameless camwhoring and with open arms because THIS IS MY TRUE CALLING!!!111one

And BECAUSE of my shameless pictures everywhere, people recognise me. Once in a blue moon along the street, makan places, at the gym, while partying, random people have been known to come up to me and asked if I was Fireangel or FA and then pelt me with rotten brinjals for all the trauma and sleepless nights this blog have caused them, or something like that. Hell, I even get that at work, which is very unnerving - because it kinds of kills some of my professionalism edge. (In my ex-job, my managers found out about my blog via that awful malaymail article. They'll even ask "WHY NO UPDATE?" -_-) But that's the price I pay for my stubborn idiocy of keeping a shameless blog, and it's a price I'm still willing to pay, for now.

(folks, please, I implore you, if you ever see me at work or with my colleagues at lunch time or whatever do not, I repeat please do NOT yell out shit like ZOMG YOU ARE FA OR FIREANGELISM.COM I KNOW YOUR WEBSITE because I swear to you, me and my team of elite kitten-eating-ninjas will NEVER rest until we find you, your family and your dog and when I am done with you bygod you'll wish that durians and watermelons never existed)

It still scares me, when I wonder who might be reading my website, and what people might think of me, what they might do with all these information and fugly shameless pictures on my website. Then I down a glass of long island ice tea, which kills that little naggy voice in my head. I'll remind myself that I will NOT give 2 fucks what random people think of me because hey, in this infinite black space we call the universe, strangers are nothing but insignificant specks of dust to me, and dust does not bother me. Unless you go up my nose and irritate my sinuses where I'll have to blow you out with furious anger into a tissue and throw you into the trashcan where you shall await your doomed future of forever lying in wasteland of stinky garbage where you will then finally disintegrate into nothingness. But all that being said, you, my dear reader, are important to the existence of this blog. It's just what you think of me I don't care about. :)

One thing I don't understand is how readers overestimate my hits. In the prime of fireangelism.com there were only 700 unique hits daily.. sometimes there's the kennysia effect and the hits go up to 2k a day (thanks to trolls). But now hits have dropped to about 400, thanks to my lack of updates and shameless self portraits. So if anybody told you I get THOUSANDS OF hits, they are LYING or must've somehow mistaken me for Kennysia, and I shall be insulted, because, even though I'm not the hottest chick in town, I AM DEFINITELY CUTER THAN KENNY, and I shall be VERY, VERY ANGRY and bygod I swear to you, me and my team of elite kitten-eating-ninjas will NEVER rest until we find you ... etcetcetc.

Well, I don't mind too much how measly my hits are. Because first and foremost, I don't REALLY blog for hits.

So, why do I blog?

Well, in spite of the bad experience, the dropping hits, the lack of time and energy, the not being able to update it frequently, the trolls, the stupid pr0n spams, the people who secretly fantasise about killing me to ENDITALL - I like it. And I will keep doing it just because it's fun, and that's what we all need more of - fun. I believe that this blog, Mr. Stan Lee, is how I'm going to use my mutant power of being frightening PLAIN, to make a difference, for you and for me and the entire human race. There are people dying, so if we care enough for the living, we'll make it a better place, for you and for me. You and for me. You and for me.

:P

The Royal Selangor Autumn Launch Party

(all pictures brought to you by Suanie, because she is great)
(btw, YEAY REAL UPDATES ZOMG!)

It's great to have friends like Suanie.

Everybody knows her + she gets invited for parties + I am her friend + I get to tag along too (sometimes) = YEAY FOR ME!

It's been awhile since I've been for anything happening. Was starting to wonder if Suanie still liked me or not, hehe kidding only lah. I was the one being a bigbitch by turning down all her other invites because I didn't have anymore time for a life, THANKS TO MY (not so) new JOB.

So Royal Selangor Pewter just recently held a launch at their crib. I thought it was going to be like one of those corporatey stiff boring ass events attended by really old stiff boring people but oh how wrong was I and how glad I was to be wrong! It was a pretty awesome party! There was some crazy turkey theme going on, psychedelic light displays, belly-dancing, awesome food, henna tattoo people doing free henna tattoos, a factory visit, a quick pewter banging class.... and best of all, wait for it.......... FREE FLOW OF ALCOHOL!!! It's like MANNA FROM HEAVEN!!!!!!!


satisfied with their fill of food and drink, the mob decides to camwhore.

Bombay Sapphire (BS) was their main alcohol sponsor that night. I am no big fan of BS. By itself, or when mixed with any soft drink it tastes like what a mixture of pure paint thinner with a tinge of HELL might taste like. I hate it. But that night, I discovered that when mixed with cranberry juice and 7-up (that's what I thought the bartender told me): it tastes almost exactly like ice lemon tea. It was so mindblowingly NORMAL tasting I had about... oh... a LOT. So awesome it was I am now compelled to try this mixture at home! I know a certain somebody with an almost full bottle of BS in his room, cough.


Me, doing my thang in front of their Selberan showroom

The very nice people gave us a quick tour of their factory, and showed us how they made their products. It was an educational, eye-opening experience. Come, I share with you some of the stuff I learnt.

1. Most of their factory employees were women. They explained that in their experience, women in general tend to be more patient and have gentler hands than men.

2. A lot of Royal Selangor's products are made BY HAND. There was a lady who was making over a thousand uniformed dents all over a finished pewter mug with only a HAMMER. Sounds crazy? Believe it!

3. Do you know what pewters are made of? About 98% of tin mixed with a small proportion of copper and antimony added to strengthen it.

4. And here's something to be proud of, Royal Selangor Pewter (which is a 100% made in Malaysia baby) (which also owns Selberan and Comyn) is reputed to be one of the largest pewter factory in the WORLD! BOLEH!

Because it was an event night, guests were also allowed to register for a RM50 pewter knocking class for what a oh what an amazing price of ZERO BUCKS!!! YEAY! THE PERKS! THE PERKS! I LOVE PERKS! So they provide us with a flat sheet of pewter, and then commanded us to go forth and knock it up into a bowl.


This is some serious fun, man

Bernie Chan was there with her friends. I really don't need to describe how tall she is:


I am petite. And Kiut. Petite and kiut. Petite and kiut.

Obviously we get to take home our bowls (with our initials on it woot!). We even get to swipe home the apron! YEAY!



I did quickly mention that there was a couple of ladies who'd Henna tatoo you for free, yeah? Being the typical I-can't-resist-abusing-free-stuff Malaysian, I got both my hands tattooed. FOR FREE.



Kim did it too!



And so did Suanie!



And we all went home happy!

In conclusion:
The people at Royal Selangor Pewter sure know how to throw a mean party!!! Please invite us for more happening stuff! Which has lots of alcohol! Thank you!

More:
Suanie was there!
So was Kim!

Reason for Lack of Camwhoring Photos.

Camera died already mah. No money to buy new one. Have to collect more money from.. er..... ads lah.

So basically - Want ugly mugshots of a semihuman (ie, ME!!!) to satisfy your fetishes? CLICK ON MY ADS LAH!

P/s: Psst. Are you from Canon / own(ed) a Canon Powershot / knows somebody who works at Canon? Can somebody explain to me, why instead of pictures, my 2-3 year old Powershot A85 only produces static lines now? Is this unusual? Or one of those completely normal things which I don't know about where users just accept that it WILL fuck up after AFTER the warranty expires and are expected to buy a new one like any other electronic gadgets these days? What am I supposed to do now? I am noob. Kindly advice kthx.

Tanggal 31 Bulan 8, 57

This is what I'll do in conjunction with this year's 50th Merdeka celebration.

I shall be all patriotic. I shall be a responsible citizen.

I shall register myself as a voter, finally.

....and then I shall vote for the opposition party.




So what are you going to do this Merdeka?

Happy Merdeka everybody! May we have better years to come.

Why the Hell Did Gwen Still Give Us a Concert...

... when she could've just told us to fuck off for being such a pain in her ass.

Stolen from the People online magazine.

Gwen Stefani played Malaysia as a cover girl. Actually, make that a covered girl.

The singer, 37, revealed next to no skin while performing Tuesday before some 7,000 cheering fans at an indoor stadium.

The new dress code followed some fears expressed by Islamic critics that Stefani's revealing concert costumes might corrupt the country's youth, the Associated Press reports.

Bursting onto the stage in a short-sleeved shirt and black-and-white striped hot pants suit over a black leotard (with black gloves up to her elbows), Stefani announced, "I am very inspired tonight."

What she was inspired to do was, in fact, put on a fashion show, donning a different outfit for every song – among them: "The Sweet Escape," "Rich Girl," "Wind it Up" and "Hollaback Girl." (Cameras were banned from the performance.)

Stefani's vow of modestly came as a result of a charge by the 10,000-member National Union of Malaysian Muslim Students that her revealing outfits and cheeky performances clashed with traditional Islamic values.

The opposition Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party also blamed her for promoting promiscuity and corrupting the nation's youth.

Under Malaysian government rules, a female artist must be covered from her shoulders to her knees. Also prohibited: jumping, shouting or throwing of objects onstage or at the audience. Talent may also not hug or kiss, and their clothes must not carry obscene or drug-related images or messages.

Speaking to the local entertainment publication Galaxie, Stefani said she had adapted her act to Malaysia, which she termed a "major sacrifice."

"I've been in the music industry for 20 years and this is the first time that I'm facing opposition from people who have misunderstood me," she was quoted as saying – adding, "I'm not a bad girl."

So.. because I'm a complete retard.... I've got silly question to ask - how does an artist's costume and an artist makes one promiscuous and corrupted? I also went to university, even got my degree and everything, but I swear I've never heard that kinda thing before lah. Sigh, maybe I slept through that module and missed the entire bit about how performers and what they wear make everybody want to indulge in drunken drugged orgies.

Well if that's the case then they should try and ban Astro also mah. Got MTV. Got Channel V. Got all the rapper videos with their big booty scantily clad women. Even our local artists also must ban lah. Hannah T and her sorry excuse for soft porn MTVs. Reshmonu's MTV full of skimpy hot chicks dirty dancing ala gangster rap style. I'm afraid I might just fuck everybody lah.

Also, why not ban Mawisux? Not only Mawisux is an ugly fuck and can't bloody sing for shit, he was also involved in so many freaking HUGE scandals which was splashed ALL over the news. Don't his scandals clash with traditional Islamic values and contributes to the corruption of today's youth? No ah?

I guess not lah. Which explains why his barf inducing face is still on instant noodle packaging and giant billboards lah, and why so many kids still worship the ground he walks on. I bet your little toe that the there are SOME people from the same group who protested against Gwen Stefani were the SAME people who are still BIG FANS of Mawisux..... but of course, my statement here carries as much weight as the statement which implies that foreign artists gives me this uncontrollable urge to jump on every stranger I meet on the street.

Talk about double standard.

I wouldn't blame Gwen one bit if she had decided to stop her tour at Singapore and give us the finger. But nooooo! Not only did she NOT cancel her performance or pull some silent protest stunt on us, she gave into the restrictions and even had the cheek to give us a helluva awesome performance.

Sigh. She's so awesome lah.

And that's all I've got to say about that. Kthx.


OHAI! I want 2 B Harajuku gurl 2!

SELL OUT!

HEY I HEARD THAT, BITCHES!

But somebody's gotta pay for the freaking booze innit?

ads = money = booze = I am happy = less tiny furry creatures die.

See?

Saving tiny furry creatures!

It's all for a good cause!

Bai.


Ohai. I b a tainee fuhree kreachur too.

A Meme From The Suan.

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

1) Exordinarily Ordinary
2) MidniteLily.com
3) Wondering As I Wander
4) As Suanie Sees It
5) Fireangelism

Select five people to tag:
1) KY
2) Let's face it, I don't have many friends.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 17.... probably studying like made for SPM trials. Or procrastinating FROM studying for my SPM trials.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
According to my blog, I was drowning gummy bears.

Five snacks you enjoy
Er... I'll eat almost anything available when I'm hungry lah. Beggars can't be choosers.

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to
Erm. Nothing current because I don't know what they're crying about anymore.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire
1. Move out
2. Give my family some money
3. Go on an Europe/America tour
4. Invest the rest.
5. Dream about quitting my job, but I know I can't because 1 million doesn't last forever.

Five bad habits
Procrastinating. Swearing too much. Thinking about drinking too much. That's about it.

Five things you like doing
Drinking. X5

Five things you would never wear again
Short skirts.
CHEAP UNCOMFORTABLE SHOES.
Heavy make up
hair curled
Pinafores

Five favourite toys
Only one. My spanking new MP3 player. :)

^_^ V

Today, all cute furry creatures, babies, rainbows and gummy bears shall rejoice as they roam free without the fear of being eaten.

Just because it's my birthday.

:)

i is sorreh.

It's ironic.

I pay for my hosting now.
But I almost don't update anymore.

:(

Sorreh. I is verry busehs.

Still haven't gotten the hang of the job yet.

Work is literally taking up all my time, and by the time I get home at night, even if I really wanted to, I'll won't even have the energy to switch on the freaking PC to watch pr0n (I don't even have pr0n. wtf.)

Anyway. Happy new month! I will officially be 27 soon. Don't ask me self-reflecting questions or questions relating to my achievements because it might make me want to GOODBAI WORLD slit my throat and end it all kthx.

Updates soon? Maybe? Well there better be!

WTF?

HEY! THERE WAS A POST HERE PREVIOUSLY! NOW IT IS GONE!

YOU SAW IT RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!?!? IT WAS HERE RIGHT!! I DIDN'T JUST IMAGINE IT UP!

Goddamnit. Must have happened when those people moved my blog about and didn't update the files. Shit.

ANYWAY. This is just to inform all 5 of you (that's left) that my blog is now up and running! So is the CPU at home! So more frequent updates to be expected from this WEEKEND onwards! :)

Oh yeah, but my Canon koyak already. So camwhoring pictures... well. put on hold okay? Please, can somebody recommend me a camera which is
1. not so expensive
2. no need high-tech manual options and shit, just basic functions will do
3. slim and compact, not heavy
4. good for night pictures
5. can last longer than 2 years and
6. erm. not so expensive.

Or better yet, buy me one. My birthday coming soon anyway. :P

*Tak tau malu*

AND because this blog is all about you and so and so forth, tell ME what would YOU like to see MORE from this blog. I'm getting a little too tired to come up with original crazy harajuku, kill gummy bears shit to scare you guys with thanks to my slaving job. TELL ME SOMETHING, otherwise I might end up writing about what I ate for breakfast. What time I woke up this morning. Where I went and what I said she said he said they heard.

Request for nekkid pictures will be dealt accordingly. By kitten eating killer ninjas. Who will rip you into pieces with furious anger. So don't be a fuckhead.

Overdue Singapore post should be up this weekend.

See you soon! :)

Ayam Bag.

Want to update but no pictures.

No pictures because my camera dieded.

Canon really don't last.

But luckily for me, Suanie was with me!

Suanie took pictures!

But Suanie hasn't uploaded them up yet.

Go bug Suanie to load them up!

So we can blog about our trip to Singapore soon!

:)

Off We Go!

The Suan and I are off to Singapore today.

........ if I can make it to the bus on time.

.... with the help of some divine intervention.

We plan to drink. Lepak. Eat. Drink. Kaikai. Maybe shop a bit, if the sales are still on. Drink some more. And in between our hectic schedule, maybe camwhore.

So if you're there this weekend, let's meet! Buy us drinks! Take us out go kaikai! We are but poor ickle Malaysian girls with nought but Malaysian Ringgit in our pockets. And everybody knows that it ain't worth shit.

Should be fun, right?

Be back Sunday! Ta!

Robots In Disguise! (May contain spoilers)

Yup I've seen it.

On Imax.

Now, who wants to touch me?

I said.

WHO. WANTS. TO. FUCKIN'. TOUCH. ME?!?!?!

Anyway.

I think I like it. I think. I'm not too sure. A couple of things REALLY irked me. And those couple of things really took away the enthusiasm of how much I REALLY want to like the movie, you know?

First thing I didn't like: NOT. ENOUGH. AIR. TIME. ON. THE. ROBOTS.
True, awesome does not even BEGIN to describe them when you actually SEE them. The first time I saw the robots transform, I was like... I felt like.. my head was going to explode. No. It was more than that. I felt like, I was in this space ship. And there was a hole in the wall of this space ship. And the difference in pressure between the inside and outside of the ship was sucking my WHOLE body out INTO SPACE through that teeny tiny hole.

And then imagine how it feels. Er, but in a really good way.

The thing is. IS THAT IT? IS THAT ALL WE GET TO SEE OF THE ROBOTS?!?!? Why isn't the entire storyline FOCUSED on the robots? How the fuck can they justify the robots being reduced to that of a puny miserable SIDE STORY? Or that Bumblebee felt like he was just merely some sort of a amusing human SIDEKICK? And how can the battle scenes between the robots be SO SHORT?!?!?! I WANT MORE! IT COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH MORE! How can you hardcore die hard fans be just contented with THIS? Or has everybody's expectations, from the scale of 1 to 10, reduced to that of a NEGATIVE infinite figure knowing full well how gay Bay can be, that ANYTHING more than a decimal point of a positive integer was considered FUCKING AWESOME?

It's like shit, all this cool and awesome robots. Coming to LIFE. ON THE BIG SCREEN. With all the coolness of today's oh-so-advanced tech and the crazy amount of sponsors (bloody obvious product placements. damn shameless). And THAT'S IT? THAT WAS IT? THAT'S ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH?

Which leads me to my next point.

WHO. FUCKING. CARES. ABOUT. THE. BLOODY. PUNY. HUMANS!
STOMP. CRUSH. KILL. FUCK THEM. WHO GIVES A SHIT GODDAMNIT. THIS IS TRANSFORMERS. GIVE US ROBOTS. IF THEY WANTED TO FOCUS ON THE HUMANS THEN THEY SHOULD GO MAKE ANOTHER FUCKING MOVIE FOR THE FUCKING HUMANS GAHHHH!

PLUS. All that fan servicing and generous cleavage shots was so cheap. As if the boys really need MORE reasons to WANT to watch Transformers are you bloody kidding me.

Fine. I'm being enviousjealousbitter. So sue me motherfuckers.

Yeahyeahyeah the girl is so very hot and with a body like that looks like she just walked out of an under aged porn movie set you wish you could fuck her too etc etc etc.

But if I pay good money to go watch Transformers. I fucking EXPECT to get to watch Transformers. Period.

Third thing: THAT WAS THE SHITTIEST ABRUPTEST ENDING. EVAR.
It's like midway through the battle scenes they realised that they ran out of budget.

"Cut! Just got a call from our accountants. We're broke. We've spent every last cent on making all the robots look pretty. Now we don't have anymore money to make the movie right. Just end it like this. Yes. Okay. They'll lap it up anyway WHAT? I mean hello? They should be grateful that WE bothered putting those damn robots on the big screens in the first place so those suckers will lap up WHATEVER it is we feed them with. They should be bloody worshiping us like HEROES! Like GODS! Hell okay. I'll EVEN throw in generous amounts of cleavage shots for good measure. OKAY? Now wrap it up boys."

Mahai. -_-"

End rant.

That being said, I will watch it again. Because watching them transform was worth all the vodka in Poland.


Prime wants to be kawaii too (Thanks eyeris! Hehe!)

Kthxbai.

TRANSFORMERS! ZOMG! NEED TO WATCH!

I am willing to give you my sister's PRIZED, MOST PRECIOUS, furry cute hamster* for your Transformers tickets.

I'll even fucking put on a robot suit for the movie. DURING the movie*.

I'M COMING BUMBLEBEE! I'M COMINGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEE!

*What else do you fucking want? Terms are VERY negotiable.

Haiyah won't you motherfuckers ever stop whining!?!?!?

Okay okay stfu. here here. Pictures. Stop crying okay? Holyshit motherfuckers. I is busy can? BUSY. AND MY CPU IS CACAT AND I IS STILL TRYING TO MOVE DOMAIN HOSTS AND ETC ETC CAN! But HERE BE PICTURES. SHUT UP BE HAPPY. THIS IS LAST UPDATE IN LONG TIME ZOMG?!?!?

Some of you might have noticed my fugly mugshots in Sin Chew and The Star's Metro.

There is no good explanation for it. I am so sorry to have caused so much trauma to you, your mother and your dog. But here be more pictures, which I think are less fugly, because this photographer was fucking awesome, and seems to like me more than THAT fat dumpy lump of the fucking sin chew's sad sorry excuse for a photographer. GRRRRrrr.

Oh for the ones who don't know wtf is going on, I was featured in a couple of papers for an Estee Lauder makeover thingy some time back. I thought these makeover thingies were supposed to make you look good in the end... but erm... well... I wasn't too crazy over my "new" look. I guess there's not much you can do when you don't have much to begin with yah? ^_^


Me choosing what to wear. Or acting like I'm choosing what to wear. The girl next to me is kinda cute, right?


Me. Doing the "Act Kiut" pose. After 1000 layers of make up. I like this picture the most. It kinda makes me look cute. Haha. :P


Getting my hair done up. I like me in this one too. Though I think I prefer me with MUCH LESS make up. All that make up makes me look like a one of those chinese opera singers.

Wait till you see what they did with my hair.....


-_-"..... don't I look 45? Bloody hell I'm only 2 fucking 7.They actually did my hair TWICE. This is actually looking MUCH better than the first attempt! After I saw the first attempt's result I nearly wanted to kill myself. DEATH BY HEAD BANG PILLAR. I didn't know how to react when I first saw it. So shocked. Speechless. When they asked me how I liked it I was like "er...... mmm..." But looking back, it was goddamn fugly. :( It was done by peoples from A Cut Above, can you believe that shit? What the hell!

I like that top though. It's from Warehouse. It's probably costing over a thousand dollars and a left leg. Damn the lights really accentuates my age and fats. But GODDAMNIT I'll have you know that I was the FIRST GIRL THAT AFTERNOON who managed to zip the damn corset ALL THE WAY UP (Note: this is NOT a cue for you to poke fun at the lack of assets, UNDERSTAND!)!


Erm. I be in uR newZpapers. Giving you de nytemares muaXxX? :P

Okay done back to work zomg! Mondays are crazy!

Moving and Shit.

In the midst of moving the website blog. Updates to resume soon ok? Hang in there.

ARrrrrrrrrrrrrr Be a PIRrrrrrrrrate!

I've never EVER done crazy shit like this in public.... until I met... The Suan.













Playing the part of a self-absorbed camwhore that I AM, just thought I'll compile pictures of memeME from everywhere else since I didn't have a camera with me during the pirates screening courtesy of NuffNang.

Stolen without permission from various bloggers. Drop me a comment and I'll add a link to you. Except Jayelle. Your link there big big on two pics. :P

Have a good weekend.

Nine2Nine @ The Weld

I've just decided to die-die also must blog about this, because I made a promise, a whole MONTH back. Updating this at work some more. So be happy or something you filthy rats.

I don't know if the few of you remember my desperate cries of help in the corporationey clothes shopping department. So many of you (girls AND boys?!?!?) were ever so helpful with yours tips and suggestions which I'm ever so grateful for.

But somebody came along and took it a whole mile further. She asked me to come VISIT her shop. Try EVERYTHING she said, see what you like!

Oh I how heart good samaritans with an infinite pool of kindness in their hearts. If there's anymore of you out there please drop by ALL THE TIME.

Just a little background before we step into the graphic freak show:

The boutique is called nine2nine (duh, the title up there so big!) and it sells affordable corporate clothes for the working young urban professional ladies. It's designed by a local designer who gets her inspiration from major fashion magazines and other brands like G2000, Zara, MNG....

The boutique mostly caters for the small-sized women (LIKE ME!!!!) who have trouble finding the perfect fit in the other generic brands (FUCKING ONE SIZE FITS ALL TEMPLATES), BUT they also have sizes up until XXL. Price of a 2 piece suit is about RM189(coat) + RM89(skirt) (= RM289 for entire skirt suit). They also have shirts (RM89) and work dresses (about RM129) but very limited pants (RM99). It's damn affordable because it's designed and made locally and the idea is so that customers can afford to update their corporate wardrobe more frequently (good news to all you chronic compulsive shopaholics.. or bad? YOU decide!).

New designs are displayed every 2-3 weeks, and there are only limited quantities for each designs - something like 3 for S, 3 for M, 3 for L an 3 for XXL which is good because then chances of bumping into another girl wearing the exact suit is pretty much close to well, zero. Or to be a little bit more precise, 0.0009% (based on KL's population of about 1.4 million, with the assumption that since the shop is based in KL, one wouldn't expect people from say, Kuching or Kedah to own any of these pieces).

I HAD pictures of the shop to show you. But they are gone for now. I'll try and get a fresh ones.

So I went. And tried on their clothes. And brought home a few babies.

The following may be offensive for human viewing. Proceed at own risk.


White suits are something of a luxury, and so not meant for heavy duty wearage as it gets dirty too damn easily. But omg it looks too damn good to say no to. And I know I hardly ever wear skirts but THIS? I make exception. :)


Err. It's a dark blue satin corporate dress. The bottom bit is supposed to flair out a bit like a mermaid's tail but I didn't really iron it right.... and man this sure is tight fitting! If I gain anymore weight my ass won't be able to get in that. Yes I know it's a motherfucking dress. And I know it's out of character, But isn't it NICE? Say it's nice motherfucker. Or a puppy dies.


Er. Yes. A skirt suit. Again I make exception, because THIS one had the 60s-70s Superman's Lois Lane feel. Me likey. Shirt sold separately. From an entirely different shop. (coughoparksoncough)


And you've seen this shirt before om the previous post. Not many shirts on the shelf fit me because for someone "small" like me with almost-NOT-there chest, I have pretty broad shoulders. So I can't fit into an XS because I'll be walking around like a stiff dead-for-2-centuries-mummy. Can't fit into an S because the back will come off too loose and the collar will sag. That leaves me with... well, nothing. This shirt fitted me fine, just a little snug on the shoulders but at least room to move about and not feel like I'm strapped in straitjacket.

So what do YOU think? Well if I asked me (and I know you are just DYING to know because it's only about YOU if it's about ME) I really like it!

No fuss. No frills. Just a simple tiny boutique with affordable chic corporate clothes. And man, are the owners just so damn friendly and helpful! Siew Mun and her partner, Shirley, are pretty fucking hot. So this should appeal to the mostly MALE orientated perverts who frequent this site. :) Again I HAD pictures... but.... sigh.

I know this is beginning to sound eerily like an advert, but I'm just a little tad excited because ZOMG!!!11oneone I've finally found a place where I can buy corporate suits WHICH FIT without selling a kidney, lung and a piece of my liver.

The only 2 gripes I have is that they don't do a lot of work pants. Skirts skirts skirts and dresses mostly. ALSO the fact that the really nice ones are snapped up too fucking QUICKLY because there are only so limited designs for each size! YYYYEARGH! FRUST!

I'll go home later and get contact details and their opening hours, but I know on Saturdays they open till 5pm. If you work around the Luna Bar area then you could always pop by The Weld during lunch hours and check it out. Just let them know you read about them from my website.

Here is a link of a map where The Weld is. Hope it helps:
http://my.pagenation.com/kul/Menara%20Weld_101.7068_3.151.map

I swear I'll get pictures of the shop so you'll at LEAST get a rough idea what it actually LOOKS like. Or MORE living thing dies.

If you need anymore information just about ANYTHING relating to the boutique, just holler!

There you go! My personal service to a friend and the community for the week :)

Okay gotta run. Work. Make money. Kill idiots who piss me off. Toodles!

Preview of Things to Come.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

For one day I will awake from my slumber.

.... and bring upon you horrors that your puny mortal minds just can't possibly perceive.

Behold! As I unleash the beast in all its ghastly glory!


Oh HARRO!

Anyway, I promised a friend a post about her newly opened boutique which sells corporationey clothes, which I couldn't get around to doing because the pictures, which basically makes up the entire post, were in the hard disk. The hard disk that had just recently died on me. That fucking son of chips. That motherfucking piece of shit.

Actually, I'm not sure if the hard disk crashed. It just said "can not be detected". Maybe it meant I wired it wrongly.. being the noob that I am....

Hmm.

I had stealthily updated this post at my workplace just to appease your bloodthirsty appetite for gore. Won't be making it a habit though. The stealthily updating in office. Not the appease your appetite. Appeasing your appetite is of the utmost important to me because this blog is ALL. ABOUT. YOU. AND. SO. ON. AND. SO. FORTH.

I know I've been sucking with the updates and trust me I have so much to update....but it's just that the fucking CPU, which is misbehaving so often, totally KILLS off my interest. :*(

Maybe somebody fucking rich will one day chance upon my blog, take pity on my pathetic situation and then purely out of whim and the generosity of his great altruistic heart, sponsor me a brand new CPU. Or a laptop. Or something.

ANYTHING damnit. JUST ANYTHING OKAY.

Ahem. Back to work. That goes for you too, bitches.

I Love Being Featured In Everything.

Super duper short horn blowing big self-wank post.


HI MUM!

Check out bigger version here -> http://www.kl-lifestyle.com.my/image/Apr07/Features05.jpg

Thanks KL LifeStyle!

And I don't even know anybody writing in that magazine. :P

^_^ V

FAME! RICHES! MEN!

I wish.

Sigh.

Back to work.

p/s: FUCK. SOMEBODY JUST WON 18K GETTING THE RIGHT ANSWER ON FLY.FM's END BIT WTF!!!!1111one

I Give Up.

My brand new hard drive CRASHED.

Half edited pictures meant for blogging - Gone.

Was a fantastical way to end a really bad day.

That's it.

See you later.

Thank Goodness...

.... I said your pinky and not mine. :P

Sorry^gazillion trillion.

Something literally came up last weekend.

Took up ALL my time handling it.

If I'm not too occupied, I'll try tomorrow or Wednesday.

To camwhore I mean.

I DO owe certain people certain things. So camwhoring posts HAVE to be up by THIS WEEK.

:( I hope they aren't mad at me, yet.

Meanwhile, enjoy episode 19 of Heroes, Naruto's Sippuden, and Bleach's Aizen arc.

Then gloat to me at how fucking awesome they are and how I am a bigger loser than a paramecium because even the parameciums have more of life than I do because I haven't EVEN watched them yet. :(

Muaks!

P/s: LAST DAY TODAY FOR TAXES! Even if you're NOT eligible to pay taxes, (and feel like you need to do the right thing because you strongly feel like you WILL become the next billionaire and don't want LHDN to give you trouble on back taxes while seeing your name slash all over the front pages of the newspaper and CNN) you should open an account with them.

Public Announcement.

STEALING a VERY SHORT BREAK from work (just in my first week and already freaking busy sigh) to bring you this news.

If you are a fan of suanie.net—and I mean who isn’t since she is the GREATEST thing that has EVER happened and everybody NEEDS A SUAN(TM) —you would be well aware of her semi-failed quest for some certain peanut butter cups…. which has resulted in her resorting to shameless beggary.

WELL.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

GUARDIAN/TIMES is having a warehouse sale right now (which ends on 2 May!)

It sells EVERYTHING from Things You Never Ever Need But Compel You To Buy Them Anywat Just Because, Things You Might Need So You Buy It In Bulk Now Because It’s So Filthy Cheap And Then Chuck It Into Some Corner For It To Rot And Turn Into A Nest For Creepy Crawlies to Things You Buy Just In Case Somebody’s Birthday’s Coming up….. AND!!!!!

REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS FROM THE US OF A!

THE REAL STUFF! NONE OF THE HEALTHY SUGAR-FREE SHIT MEANT ONLY FOR PANSIES!

FOR FILTHY CHEAP TOO!

I FUCKING KID YOU NOT.

And lotsa other sorts of candy which you’ll NEVER EVER GET IN MALAYSIA, but for some odd reason have ended up at the GUARDIAN WAREHOUSE SALE!

I MEAN, SINCE WHEN DID GUARDIAN SELL REESE’S?

I’m not exactly sure where the warehouse sale is, BUT Try checking it out in your local papers, or posters on the lamp- posts by the street while you’re stuck in a rush hour traffic and feeling so nauseated from the claustrophobia which develops into an inexplainable urge to chew your hands off.

Okay now back to work.

This weekend, updates with pictures. I swear it or your pinky dies.

P/s: By the way, Have you filed in your taxes? Three days left people! Hurry!

AWOL

I AM SO RIDICULOUSLY FUCKING SORRY AND ASHAMED OF MYSELF FOR TOTALLY NEGLECTING THIS SITE OMG!

Bad blogger. Very bad blogger. Go to your room. Don't pass go. Don't collect 200 bucks. And no internet connection for a week until you've thoroughly thought about what you've done you bad blogger you.

So sorry really.

This whole "not having a job thing" is crazy. I've been busier in my past 4 weeks of not working than I have in my entire 5 years of being an employed corporate drone.

I've hardly been home except to sleep. I mean shit, my parents don't even remember having a daughter anymore.

It's been THAT BAD.

And then somewhere along the 4 weeks of being this really busy unemployed person (oh the irony), my monitor died on me, and then my slave driver kaputed. So yeah. That kinda sucked.

...... and have I told you how much I FUCKING HATE SHOPPING?!?!?!? ARGH!

So anyway, this is a quicky to tell you I still live. This site still lives. And guess what? Pictures coming up soon! MUAHAHAHAH!!! Too bad deal with it go counseling and in time you'll come to forgive me.

REAL updates as soon as I start work (hahaha). Promise promise promise. Pinky promise!

Please keep loving me kthxbai.

Corporationey Clothes Shopping.

Hello boys and girls who oft visit here because you have absolutely nothing else better to do, love pain and have too many IQ points to kill.

Have little bit of dilemma.

Have new job which actually requires me to dress up like I actually have a job.

Then slowly. slowly. I might have to get a fucking PDA. Might. Gah. Money going out faster than I'm earning it.

This new job is really costing me a lot of moolah. MOOLAH I DON'T HAVE! Aren't jobs SUPPOSED to earn you moolah? Did I get the concept wrong here?

STOP DIGRESSING YOU CRAZY DRUNK WOMAN!

_koff_

In my previous job of FIVE YEARS, I sat on my desk 9-5 in front of the computer and speak to NOBODY. Had I showed up in a furry costume in the shape of a baboon's backside, nobody would've ever noticed; unless I set myself on FIRE and run around the department, very, very, VERY slowly while SCREAMING my head off, flaying my heads about like a madman..... ON FIRE.

With the new job, I'll actually have to get off my ass and TALK to humanoids on a regular basis.

So new PRESENTABLE threads are required.

Please recommend me where I can go to buy the following:

1. 2-3 full suits (dark grey, beige/cream, dark brown) (and suits should preferably be pants/skirt/blazer combo) (Update: I can NOT wear Zara suits - Too long. Even their smallest size makes me look like I'm swimming in it. Spade's (KLCC) selection of suits VERY YUCKY THIS TIME. Other suggestions please?)
2. shirts (3-5)
3. girly corporationey blouses (??!?!?!) which I can wear instead of fucking shirts all the time inside my suit.
3. pumps (closed toed shoes lar)

.....and MUST meet the following requirements.

1. Will NOT cost me an arm a leg of my future newborn ie, Affordable ie, CHEAP (I hate paying full price).
2. Inspite of it being affordable, FITS WELL for someone of my koff STATURE (I wear a size midget with fat legs).
3. Of decent quality (I am a VERY rough midget)

So don't lah try to be all funny and say stupid things like "go pasar malam". Also, don't ask me to tailor-make either. I am NOT made of money. Nor do I have the luck of being doted upon by a sugar daddy who only requires my time in return, and nothing else.

Please, please help this hopeless girl with fashion senses akin to a colour-blind rabied inbred mongrel sewer rat.

Actually, giving me money would help a tonne too.

And in return I swear upon the castle of grayskull that I'll put enough pictures of me camwhoring in my new threads to make you lose your sleep FOREVER.

OMG TOTALLY TWISTING MY ARM HERE JUST TO GIVE YOU THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY! BECAUSE IN FIREANGELISM YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS!!

Well, sorta.

Tenkiu berry much!

I RUV NEW YORK!

^_^ V

(can't fucking believe Heroes' episode 19's gonna take so long to air!)

Away.

Hi. This is FireAngel's automated response generator.

FireAngel is unavailable to camwhore and spew long, inane, rubbish out for your pleasure at the moment.

She has found some meaning to life again by currently overdosing on Naruto and Bleach because the fillers HAVE ENDED.

That is all.

Have a good day.

brb!

Welcome To Sing-Gapore!

OMG CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW IS BACK!

OMG CHOW YUN FATT!!!!

Chow Yun Fatt REEKS SO MUCH asskicking coolness from every PORE of his body that even in a fucking gay furry PENGUIN costume he'll still be cool enough to freeze hell over ANd kick your ass! WOOT!

The second Pirates really sucked though. One heckuva bloody long filler which made my backside damn pain from sitting down for so long only to realise that the fucking movie was ALL ABOUT THE LAST FIVE MINUTES.

Call me Eeyore, have a feeling this one isn't gonna be great either, cause it's Hollywood and we all know Hollywood has a tendency of fucking it up by cashing it in.

But like a lemming drawn to the edge of the cliff - I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH IT OMG!

YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T WAIT EITHER!

It's gonna be ARRrrrhhhhsome!

CHOW YUN FATT ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!

Hmmm. If Chow Yun Fatt and Jack Sparrow engaged in a duel, your money's on who to win? Why?