MAC Sucks Big Dick.

This post was drafted many months ago... but it was shelved and forgotten, until I came across THIS post - which reignited my furious anger and reminded me why I drafted up the post in the first place.

Before any of you stevejobs OMGIWILLSUCKYOURDICKFORANIPHONE fanbois jump all over me preaching about how he is the chosen one and will SAVE US ALL and that I should burn in hell for heresy and desecrating THE ONE, I am not referring to Mac the product from the same manufacturer of the infamous white coloured piece of overpriced chip which hosts your music and video. I am referring to MAC the cosmetic brand.

So, why does MAC suck big dick?

Reason Number 1:
I've always thought MAC over overrated. Have you seen the printed ads for MAC? If you have, I am sure it is very very VERY difficult to NOT notice how gory and garish the models on their ads are. There is NO way in this life time, hell or heaven, will you EVER be able to pull their shit off in public without making babies cry, dogs growl, and everyBODY starepoint at you whispering among themselves wondering if you were a transgender stripper who's stuck in the 80s. The only WAY you can pull off their makeup and not have a mob throw stones at you is if:
a) you're a drag queen
b) ... working at a strip club
c) ... which has an ongoing 80s theme OR
d) you work at MAC

I mean come on, making up to look exactly like Barbie? Are you freaking kidding me?

Reason Number 2:
And has anybody noticed that MAC comes out with like a TRILLION different types of BRAND NEW LIMITED EDITION collections in a year? How many hues of orange, blue, red, pink, brown, purple blusher, eyeshadow and lipstick can there REALLY be?

so. What. Is. Their. Secret?

Packaging.

They use the freaking SAME set of colours and accessories for EVERY SINGLE COLLECTION. YEAR IN YEAR OUT.

Add some ribbons / frills/ patches / leather. Slap on the "limited edition" sticker and "while stocks last" and VOILA! BRAND NEW COLLECTION, SUCKERS!

I have to admit that the packaging (suckergirl's kryptonite) really makes me just want to OWN their stuff because it's a SO CUTE and I JUST TO HAVE IT - but I always managed to stop myself after realising plastic surgery costs just about the same.

Reason Number 3 and the BIGGEST REASON WHY MAC SUCKS BIG DICK:
Their sales assistant have the lousiest attitudes and make you feel like you're not good enough for their products.. which hey.. are pretty shit to begin with for that price you're paying for.

Once you enter the store every single one of their sales assistants SHALL critically evaluate you. YOU SHALL be stare at. YOU SHALL endure the sales assistants while they eyeball you from top to bottom. To Top. They SHALL NOT subtle about it.

Then they SHALL judge and classify you into 2 categories and SHALL serve you according to the category you have been classified under, ie:

Category 1:
You look like a million bucks
Who:
drag queens, people who wear as much makeup as the sales assistants (think of 80s pop stars), mistresses of Datuks, somebody Famous, Datins who drizzle in jeweleries just begging to be robbed, people wearing designer EVERYTHING.
Type of service:
Smiley, courteous, go all out to please you that even when you fart, they'll exclaim how it smells of jasmines and gardenias.

Category 2:
You DON'T look like a million bucks
Who:
EveryBODY else.
Type of service:
The stare, and the "Who the fuck are you, and what the fuck are you doing here " look.

And these are the MAC sales assistants with their 5 inch thick face painted bitches who overload on black "cross between goth smoldering and jack sparrow" eyeliner, "the IT clown meets Priscilla queen of the dessert" eye makeup, dripping "dolly parton look" lipgloss , crazy homeless people hobo hair.... and the women are even worst.

Stylish? Classy? Too good for everybody else? My ASS.

I know I'm sounding bitter (Fuck you MAC @ megamall), but I KNOW for a fact that every OTHER girls who has visited a MAC store were also treated the same shitty service, if not worse.

(This does not apply to some of the sales assistants at MAC @ KLCC - they are actually quite nice, and might get fired because it's probably not company policy to be NICE without prejudice.)

And that is why I'm NEVER stepping foot into a MAC store ever again.

Because I'm worth it.

....and the makeup on their sales assistants gives me nightmares.

(Ettusais, Skinfood, and every other friggin' Asian cosmetic brands ftw!)