Robots In Disguise! (May contain spoilers)

Yup I've seen it.

On Imax.

Now, who wants to touch me?

I said.

WHO. WANTS. TO. FUCKIN'. TOUCH. ME?!?!?!

Anyway.

I think I like it. I think. I'm not too sure. A couple of things REALLY irked me. And those couple of things really took away the enthusiasm of how much I REALLY want to like the movie, you know?

First thing I didn't like: NOT. ENOUGH. AIR. TIME. ON. THE. ROBOTS.
True, awesome does not even BEGIN to describe them when you actually SEE them. The first time I saw the robots transform, I was like... I felt like.. my head was going to explode. No. It was more than that. I felt like, I was in this space ship. And there was a hole in the wall of this space ship. And the difference in pressure between the inside and outside of the ship was sucking my WHOLE body out INTO SPACE through that teeny tiny hole.

And then imagine how it feels. Er, but in a really good way.

The thing is. IS THAT IT? IS THAT ALL WE GET TO SEE OF THE ROBOTS?!?!? Why isn't the entire storyline FOCUSED on the robots? How the fuck can they justify the robots being reduced to that of a puny miserable SIDE STORY? Or that Bumblebee felt like he was just merely some sort of a amusing human SIDEKICK? And how can the battle scenes between the robots be SO SHORT?!?!?! I WANT MORE! IT COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH MORE! How can you hardcore die hard fans be just contented with THIS? Or has everybody's expectations, from the scale of 1 to 10, reduced to that of a NEGATIVE infinite figure knowing full well how gay Bay can be, that ANYTHING more than a decimal point of a positive integer was considered FUCKING AWESOME?

It's like shit, all this cool and awesome robots. Coming to LIFE. ON THE BIG SCREEN. With all the coolness of today's oh-so-advanced tech and the crazy amount of sponsors (bloody obvious product placements. damn shameless). And THAT'S IT? THAT WAS IT? THAT'S ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH?

Which leads me to my next point.

WHO. FUCKING. CARES. ABOUT. THE. BLOODY. PUNY. HUMANS!
STOMP. CRUSH. KILL. FUCK THEM. WHO GIVES A SHIT GODDAMNIT. THIS IS TRANSFORMERS. GIVE US ROBOTS. IF THEY WANTED TO FOCUS ON THE HUMANS THEN THEY SHOULD GO MAKE ANOTHER FUCKING MOVIE FOR THE FUCKING HUMANS GAHHHH!

PLUS. All that fan servicing and generous cleavage shots was so cheap. As if the boys really need MORE reasons to WANT to watch Transformers are you bloody kidding me.

Fine. I'm being enviousjealousbitter. So sue me motherfuckers.

Yeahyeahyeah the girl is so very hot and with a body like that looks like she just walked out of an under aged porn movie set you wish you could fuck her too etc etc etc.

But if I pay good money to go watch Transformers. I fucking EXPECT to get to watch Transformers. Period.

Third thing: THAT WAS THE SHITTIEST ABRUPTEST ENDING. EVAR.
It's like midway through the battle scenes they realised that they ran out of budget.

"Cut! Just got a call from our accountants. We're broke. We've spent every last cent on making all the robots look pretty. Now we don't have anymore money to make the movie right. Just end it like this. Yes. Okay. They'll lap it up anyway WHAT? I mean hello? They should be grateful that WE bothered putting those damn robots on the big screens in the first place so those suckers will lap up WHATEVER it is we feed them with. They should be bloody worshiping us like HEROES! Like GODS! Hell okay. I'll EVEN throw in generous amounts of cleavage shots for good measure. OKAY? Now wrap it up boys."

Mahai. -_-"

End rant.

That being said, I will watch it again. Because watching them transform was worth all the vodka in Poland.


Prime wants to be kawaii too (Thanks eyeris! Hehe!)

Kthxbai.