Stop Watering Down My Damn Drink, Scumbags.

I love Kilkenny! It’s absolutely yummy! It’s the only stuff on tap which I will gladly consume without having to suppress the urge to gag. That and Hoegaarden on tap, which is very rare. The creaminess of the foam complementing the slight bitterness of the liquid brown ale is absolutely mmm-mm. It’s my comfort drink. Something I look forward to having in the evenings after work to wind down. Plonk my ass on the bar stool. Order a pint. Fidget until the pint finally comes. Taste the first sip of the creamy, slightly bitter ale. Feel the warmth spread slowly from the top of my scalp to my toes. Take another big gulp or two or three. Smile. Ahhhh. It’s like having a cup of hot dark chocolate with marshmallow in front of a fireplace on a snowy winter. But with the buzz. And a lighter wallet.

But it’s WORTH IT.

Until I find out that some places actually have the NERVE to fucking water it down which totally HULKRAGES me.

WATER IT DOWN. WTF. Motherfuckers. Do you know how awful Kilkenny tastes watered down? It tastes like water that came out of a 100 year old rusty pipe which leaves a nasty aftertaste reminding me of blood.

So go screw yourselves, all you lying, cheating assholes for charging me about RM30 bucks on a pint of desecrated shit you pour into a Kilkenny glass and try to pass off as a Kilkenny.

A curse on you! May your bartenders leave you. May your orders of booze always be delayed and you’re forced to explain why a bar doesn’t have booze to very unhappy and thirsty patrons. May your patrons be unruly drunks who loves a brawl and breaks all your furniture. May your servers never be honest and still all your money from the cashier. May a freaking asteroid fall right on top of your shop. May a trailer carrying logs ram into your damn shop in the middle of the night. May your kitchen get so infested with rodents and roaches that the authorities force you to close down.

I know some establishments that does this.

The Apartment.
Laundry. (but their happy hour Kilkenny is RM20 NETT so I’ll still go sigh.)
Work In Progress.

LOWLIFE SCUM DARE TO CHARGE ME FULL FUCKING PRICE FOR WATERED DOWN DRINKS!

I know there are more and I swear upon my hamster’s grave that every time I find another place which fucking WATERS DOWN MY Kilkenny I will put a hex on it and update this post with its name for all to see.

I bet you know some places which water down your tapped booze. Do us all a favour by listing them down here and put a hex on them too, kthx.

Meanwhile, I heard there’s a place that offers Kilkenny for RM17 nett. Going to check it out tonight, and it bloody hell better NOT be watered down or I’ll TURN GREEN AND HULKSMASH THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS.

See ya!

Updated:

- GRRRRR. There's no fucking Kilkenny at Sid's Place, what more Kilkenny at RM17. The idiot who thought there was must've been drunk out of his bloody mind. I hate you. You really suck. No not you, your friend. Grrr. Hulksmash his car.

- Please list places (in Malaysia) which don't water down their grog too. We need to know! I think Finnegan's doesn't, though it's fucking expensive.

-HOLY FUCK. GAB is responsible for bringing KILKENNY IN. OMG. PLEASE. INVITE ME TO COME DRINK AT YOUR BREWERY PARTIES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.