A Tribute To The Hoes.

That's it lah! I've had it up to HERE with you whores displaying my freaking face all over your blasted blogs all the freaking time. Whatever shred of my itsy bitsy teeny weeny dignity I EVAR had has been totally raped to death. Now EVERYFUCKINGBODY thinks I'm this plain-looking flat chested, foul-mouthed, drinking, dancing, partying monster, which I ABSOUTELY am, but they TOTALLY didn't have to know that.

I will sit quietly NO longer. For a blog now I DO own.

Yes. Start peeing in your pants bitches as I strike down upon thee with GREAT vengeance and FURIOUS anger and you will know my name is FireAngel when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

IT'S PAY BACK TIME!!! THIS IS FOR EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU FUCKERS POSTED MY HIDEOUSLY PLAIN LOOKING FACE ON THE INTERNET AS A FREAKSHOW FOR BLOOD THIRSTY MASSES TO FEAST UPON LIKE A PACK OF STARVED HYENAS ON A FRESH CARCASS.

MUEAHEaeAheaheAHeAHEAHEhaEHAHEAHeaEHAHEahH..... Ahem.

Introducing, MY FIRST EIGHT FRIENDS I MADE ONLINE EVAR.


Suan. Being A Suan (TM).

Everybody loves a Suan (TM)! Your life is NEVER complete without a SUAN (TM)! My first EVAR online buddy turned real life friend, Suan is a Hoegaarden lover (ALL YOUR HOEGAARDEN R BLONG TO HER) and a compulsive food-orderer, prone to ordering enough food to feed a small island of midgets, wheren there are only 3 stomachs to feed. -_-" You're a big camwhore too, and I like, sayang you a LOT, so why won't you sayang me back? Tagline - "I DON'T CARE!"


Even the Gollum is not spared from his ham-sapness.


AKA The Perverted Koi Guy. An insufferable know it all with an ego the size of a galaxy. Guilty of shamelessly plugging hot chicks on his blog under the false pretenses of wanting to "pimp" them out, but we ALL know that he's just secretly collecting pictures of chicks to auction it off to the highest bidder on Ebay. How else did he finance his koi pond project? Hah. Also responsible for my FIRST EVAR, not too flattering, pimping post.....Oh.... SHIT. Tagline - "I am like, teh great."



Gay.

Fucker who's always, ALWAYS, dissing me. Online. In real life. When drunk. When sober. Through rain, shine, snow and tsunamis. Constantly reminding me that I'm a bloody flat-chested birdbrain with no balls. Hello? I already KNOW that I'm a bloody flat-chested birdbrain with no balls, so no need to remind. Bitch. Tagline "Ooh! Look at meee! I am the Dancing Tiger! Wooo!" *drops into drain* "Oww.. Owww.. Sniff.". Hahaha. Bitch.


Noob.

Feisty little biatch, but the noobiest drinker EVAR. Ihatechu for your long thick black hair. Ihatechu for your procelain complexion. Ihatechu for your baby smooth skin. Ihatechuhatechuhatechu. Cheebai. Tagline - "How many shots are there in this dri..zzz..."


Happy little faggots (Paul, Kerol, god, Horny)

OK.. these jokers don't even own blogs (except god, who NEVER FUCKING UPDATES IT ANYWAY, and Paul), so they never had the opportunity to diss or plug me online for the mob to chew and spit out. BUT THEY ALWAYS KACAU ME IN REAL LIFE, and if they did OWN blogs, I KNOW THEY would SO TOTALLY do it there too. HAH. I DID IT FIRST BITCHESSSSS!!!111one. I WIN.

The end!

End note: I sayang all you bitches, really wan. Muaks muaks muaks.

The Obligatory Introductory First Post

Oh my god.

Not another goddamn inconsequential blog about a day in a life of a total NOBODY.

Haha! Too bad.

So. Some of you jokers may already know who I am. Sorry.

For the benefit of those who don’t , I guess it’s only fair that I make up a few FAQs which may be asked frequently, if at all.

Right. Before I begin, here’s a mandatory self–portrait every self-respecting camwhore should publish in EVERY post.


Me. Doing one of my favouritEST past time evAr.

Done.

1. So, who the fuck are you?
Ok, fuck THAT.

2. Why Fireangelism? I mean, like, that’s TOTALLY lame.
Well, adding an “ism” at the end of any word makes it sound like it’s a study of a philosophy or religion. Taoism. Buddhism. Racism. Journalism. Houseism. Realism. Marxism. Fireangelism sounds like it’s a kiddy playground for an orgy of intellectual stimulation. Just that, it's most absolutely NOT.

3. Why a blog, NOW?
Why not?

4. Is Fireangel your REAL name?
If you’re really asking me this question, I suggest you go play far, far away. Stick something big and sharp up your arse while you’re at it. Cheers.

5. What’s your blog about, basically?
Me, my friends, parties, drinking, the basic ingredients of my happiness.... and yours too, if you really know what’s good for you.

6. What can we expect from it?
Bad English ....... but excellent Manglish, though
Too much of profanities (bad for children)
Pictures. Of drunk people – mostly me.
...maybe naked
........maybe not
podcasts and videos... maybe.
drunken rants...
....so on and so forth

.... but thou shall NOT expect a daily update.

7. What's the deal with the fansite? You were responsible for it right? Shameless whore.
Spank my ass and call my Judy!!! For the LAST time, will you fuckers stop asking me this ALREADY? If by "responsible" you meant "has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with it except to allow friends to make fun of me" - then YES. I am 100% responsible for it. SHEESH. GET A LIFE.

8. What’s in it for me?
You get to quench your insatiable voyeuristic tendencies, sicko. Unlike most people who claim to “blog for themselves”, I’m shamelessly admitting that I'm doing this for you. And you. And you. Yes, and you too. Look, I’ll even try to be mildly entertaining while I’m at it okay?

9. What is your favourite animal…. Okay you know what I give up. I really, really, REALLY suck at this. So why don’t YOU ask ME the questions which I can casually ignore?

Andd... I'm done.

Oh, what the hey. I'll throw in another self-portrait for good measure.


Bite me.

Alrightey then. Let's get down to business shall we? Next up, I'll probably feature some of the characters which will frequently appear on my blog, or not. We'll see.

Bai!

[Edited: Ok ok. This post was pointless. Click here, if you must]