2014 Resolutions

Happy new year!

We usually kid about how resolutions are made to be broken but really, the whole point of resolutions are to generally make us better human beings, right?

Well before I go on making NEW ones for 2014, probably best to quickly review how my 2013 ones went. Afterall, if we go through a yearly review at our workplace, why shouldn't we do one for our own life? :)

Met
Be positive - Yeay me!
Get a new job - Yeay me!

Sort-of Met
Not using the phone while driving & at social activities - Better this year, but can be improved.
Not to mix drinks and or get plastered - It still happens, but I like to believe that it happened LESS
Be punctual - Consciously making an effort to do so. Usually efforts are thwarted by the jam.

Failed
Update my blogs twice a week - HahahahHAHAhahaha... Got lah on the average of once in 2 months.
Read a book a month - I've attempted to start reading many books. But have yet to finish most of it. I will strive to make a more concious to finish what I've started. There's a long list!

These are not one-offs and I strive to continuing making my old resolutions into a habit. :) Now onward with the new!

1. Exercise twice a week.
At least 30 mins per session. Metabolism dropping, pants are tight now and one flight of stairs makes me pant. Woe.

2. Learn to deal with difficult people and situations amicably.
What usually happens is that I shut down and cower into a shell, ignoring that it happened. Doesn't exactly resolve the situation does it? And then I internalise it, take it personal and it festers and festers... even long after the person or incident has long passed. No. I will learn to handle it on the spot, or not let it bother me. This definitely needs a lot of zen. Where can I get a book on this?

3. Get my finances in the black
Clear the credit cards before the end of the year
Utilise those card points!
Get a second income stream from SOMEwhere - writing? investment? bartending gigs? If I want it hard enough, something will come along.
Save enough money to pay a downpayment for a landed property with enough money to pay for at least 6 months of house loans without a job
Save, save, save - Do I really NEED to buy that skincare? That cosmetic? That thingamajig in Daiso? No.

4. Print more photos
Either for the sake of keeping memories, start a scrap book (like I've always wanted to) or as giftaways. I'm pretty sure people still like physical photos too. In fact it's probably more personal than a store bought thank you card, right?

5. Spend more time with myself 
I should learn not to feel guilty if I wanted to decline an invite for an outing - even from loved ones. I need to spend more time getting my own life in order and to do ME stuff - chores, filing, organising, blogging, home facials, veg out in front of the tv, read a book.... I did not spend enough time with myself in 2013, and I'm feeling stretched a little too thin. Like butter over too much bread. :)

6. Enjoy my job and appreciate the fact that I HAVE a job.
Because it pays the bills, and I AM learning something new.

Let's have an excellent and productive 2014, eh?

2013 in review

For my own reference. 

January 2013

Left previous job and a start to my 2.5 months of sabbatical.  Spent a lot of time spending it with family and friends. It was NICE. :)

Got my first PAID  bartending gig by fluke, through a very good friend who was ADAMANT I should give it a go lol. It was one helluva awesome experience. The prep was no joke, and the actual bartending session was insane. If only I could do this once a month - my side income issue is SORTED. haha.

Made a trip to Penang - eat sleep drink repeat. I don't recall if I was sober much lol.

February 2013

Part time gig as bartending in WIP - so much physical hard work but so much FUN. Shit money though. :(

Made a trip to Danang just before AirAsia cancelled the flight. A lot of walking and sightseeing. I learnt that the vietnamese horn to INFORM other motorists of their presence on the road, ALL THE TIME.

March 2013

Experienced working  at a rave for shit money of course but the experience cannot buy one mah. This one was at the  FMFA. I quit after a day because of the horrible management - no electricity at our tent, and food wasnt even prepared for us. Nor water. Even the so-called "supervisor" was never around. But given another better opportunity, would do it again for the fuck of it.

Got that job as brand manager at the liquour company - thus begins my consistent FREE drinking for nearly the rest of the year, hehe.

April 2013

LEARNT TO CYCLE - LEVEL UP IN LIFE. Seriously life changing - I CAN DO ANYTHING NOW! 

May 2013

Dyed finger blue - voted. Glad that made a difference. :x

June 2013

KidSis all grown up and went to Scotland. Sniff.

First time at Cafe Cafe for dinner to celebrate a birthday - oh the ambience was just so dreamy.

Went KK for the FIRST TIME - for work,though. But at least I can now say I've been to EM. :)

July 2013

Observed a triathlon in PD - those guys are dedicated and fit I can tell you tat. And I decided I wouldnt ever partícipate in one. haha

August 2013

Turned 33 years young - awesome surprise kilkenny party and birthday dinner at cilantros - great times with loved ones!

Babysitted twins for 3 days - OMG now I know how it feels like to be a parent of a pair of hyperactive twins URGH PULLS HAIR. This is when I actually questioned whether I was ready or even wanted to have children.

September 2013

Hiked Perling falls - nice nice NICE. The track was quite challenging and the waterfall was lovely. Of course it was all made better with friends. Mum did so well, even better than some of us, haha. We should do this more often.

Mooncake gathering with the gang at my house - always good to have friends over to eat and drink.

October 2013

Bangkok trip - I daresay I've never walked as as much I have walked in this trip. Super gruelling trip, not quite the relaxing chilling trip I had in mind, haha. 

Yachting - Tried my hand at being part of the crew and got so brown and ached for a week. It was one of the best first time experience ever!

Caught a whodunnit play! Mouse trap.

November 2013

Went for white water rafting! Finally got over my phobia of drowning and water. We stayed in a jungle sort of retreat place and it was lovely. The white water rafting was AWESOME. Our guide was a cheeky one and capsized out boat several times during the ride. Aweseome awesome awesome!

Watched Mezzoforte @ Philharmonic - have not watched many live concerts in my lifetime. This is probably the second time in my LIFE I've been to Philharmonic. Yes, there is a whole lot of different watching a concert live vs listening to a CD. Sigh.

December 2013

Back to a REAL job. :) This would officially be my first job in the heart of KL. Let's hope it works out!

Finally made a trip to Singapore after 2 years!... and took a picture with the infamous half naked male model at A&F!! Tee hee.

Received a most surprising and memorable - Asus Transformer. How is the giver ever going to top that I don't know, haha. BUT Christmas is about spending time with loved ones ya - anything more than that is an added bonus. :)

Many firsts in 2013. All in all a great year and looking forward to 2014 with family, friends and loads of love.

Baggage

Everytime I come across that MAS ad, that one with tonnes of people walking around with luggage, I'm always reminded of baggage, the metaphorical one, eventhough I'm certain that's not exactly what MAS wanted the viewers to be reminded of whenever they see that ad (which probably costs over a million bucks, took tonnes of brainstorming sessions,  endless market surveys and went through thousands of revisions to capture that one singular all encompassing message that mas had always wanted to convey -  get a better luggage bag.....  Er no? Hehe).

Big small leather canvas pvc oyster case knapsack with wheels carry ons brown black white blue red green zips buckles straps.

Macam macam pun ada.

Our baggage is like that isn't it? All different.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that everyone else is human too, like me. We all have some sort of baggage, whether we like it or not. It makes us different,  and shapes most of us to what we are today.

I need to remember this. And respect our differences.

If i can't help a fellow human to lighten his/her load, the least I could I could do is not to unload mine on him/her... (Unless otherwise welcomed to. Even then, don't la take advantage of other people's kindness right?) I will strive to make a conscious effort to put this into practice.

But until I have mastered the art of not flinging my baggage about, sorry if I ter-forget and slip. Feel free to knock me on my head (softly please) and hand me back my baggage.

(Afterall, one should never accept other people baggage when travelling -  at least that's what airport security always say right? Hehe what nonsense la me.)

Likes - it's all about me.

You remember those autograph books you had to fill up when you were in Std 6? Where you write down your likes and dislikes and really bad poems or confess something. Well, I'm gonna do a longer version here today. I seem to have quite forgotten what I like or don't like. This page will serve as a self reminder. And yes, it's going to be quite self indulgent, so feel free to move along. :)

Food (go-to's and comfort food)

mum's soups and fried bawal fish, home made pan mee,  red wine mee sua.
korean BBQ and most of its yummy side dishes.
japanese FOOD! Ramen. Sushi. SASHIMI!
penang asam laksa & char kuay teow
steak STEAK!
CRAB CRAB CRAB - steamed crab. black pepper crab. no creamy stuff. chilli crab okay la.
SIEW YOKE
bak kut teh
hokkien char
Vanilla ice cream

movies/tv (examples as what i can remember now, not an exhaustive list)
action - Pacific Rim, Avengers, Fight Club, The Rock, Gladiator, Braveheart, Kick Ass
clever comedy - Priceless, Team America, Dogma, Hot Fuzz
any beautiful looking movies - Avatar. LOTR. Big Fish. 300. the last samurai, Pride & Prejudice

Cartoons - Pixar, Disney, Some of dreamworks stuff like Guardian, Spirited Away, Animes (eg; 7 samurai)
TV - funny, clever script. Gilmore girls, Community, Suits, Sherlock Holmes BBC, Boston Legal, dirty jobs with Mike Rowe, the early editions of Myth Busters, Modern Family's not bad.

music
pop - top 40s
oldies - what my parents used to listen to. and usually found on Light.fm,
dance - simon & alvin type. Electro.

hobbies
reading - fiction, selected biographies. Sci-fi is boring. absolutely no chick lit. very selected non-fiction. Classics.
writing - well, if you consider blogging as writing.
making drinks - learning to make popular drinks, classic cocktails.
handicraft  - havent done anything on this since secondary school but I still have a soft spot for it.
DANCE. I FREAKING LOVE TO DANCE.

colours
Red red red red red any kinds of red or... warm orange.
Deep pink.
Bright sky blue or navy blue
Apple green
no bright pink/yellow/orange. or olive/raya green. generally no purple No fluorescent anything.. Unless for post it note or highlighter.

To wear
comfortable
Simple
functional
fuss-free
jeans jeans jeans
shorts
sneakers
comfy sandals
Rockish
Hip hopish
No cute lacy overly girly stuff.
And onesies are for babies.
No rings.
Metal watch
Simple stud earrings
Simple Necklace
No gold... but white gold is okay.
Hair - long. Never permed.

Travel
Europe - London, Scotland, Belgium, Paris, Spain, Italy, Holland
japan - Tokyo, Kyoto, Hirohisma, Osaka, one rural area.
US of A Central & south - NY, Miami, LA, Brazil, Hawaii
Visit Sydney once for old times sakes.
Singapore - frequent!
Island holidays with clean, clear blue water and white sandy beaches to chill out.

Reading
clever interesting writing and plot.
fun stuff/educational/know hows/how tos/comics
Fight Club, The Game, Some of Terry Pratchett's.....erm. ya. need to work on this.

Others
Sucker for stationery stuff & bar-related tools and equipment.
Bookshops
Flowers -  specifically happy, bright ones.
Must do yearly traditions: Lantern lighting on moon cake festivals, tang yuen making for winter solstice, getting together with family on the 9th of cny.

I get illogical over skin care and makeup products.

When I die:
I want my body cremated.
Beer and booze and Siew yoke at my funeral
No scary loud taoist prayers.
No christian sermons hijacking my burial. 

I want people to remember me as:
Someone who spent her life living loving, learning. A great daughter, sister, partner and friend. Someone who made a difference in other people's lives. 

At Least I did One Thing Right

Spent nearly 3 hours with an ex-junior last night. Said she needed someone to confide in and she could only think of me to do so. Awww. Aww. Bangga. Bangga. Bangga.

She told me the most beautiful thing ever - that she was inspired by me, that I motivated her, and that she learnt a lot from me.

I nearly cried man. So touched.

One of those things money just can't buy - Knowing that you somehow made a difference in someone's life.

For that one year I was in that company, it felt like I did nothing substantial. Felt like I made no difference. Felt like i was putting water into the sea.

Who knew. little ol' me. An inspiration to someone. Who knew.

We started off rocky, she and I. For a few months we pretty much got into each other's nerves or just couldn't get along. But we managed to somehow see past our differences and found the synergy to work with each other. It was good while it lasted.

I got a lot of insights from talking with her:
- everyone wants to be validated. NEEDS to be validated. A kind word from anyone at all really makes people go a mile.
- People love to hear about their strengths. Find a strength, and bring it up often. Especially when you have to engage with them about improving their weaknesses.
- it is not impossible to work with anyone - all you need is time, patience, and a whole load of empathy to understand how you can work with them. There will always be synergies. I will always lack something you have - and vice versa. So it is damn important to know your strengths and weaknesses first.
- make time to catch up and communicate with your juniors or co-workers. We need to build the trust and understand each other better. I mean, we're spending most of our daytime with them - that makes them pretty much our second family. Love them all as much as you can.
- I cannot stress how keeping clear and open lines of communication is with your colleagues or junior. Always talk. even if just for 5 minutes.
- if you're not happy with them, let them know, and explain why. If you feel like they are not happy with you, ASK THEM WHY. nicely. And listen. And if its valid, do something about it.
- be honest & sincere. be yourself. People can tell when you're a fake.
- when giving instructions for peers or juniors to do something, always take the time to explain WHY it needs to be done and HOw you feel is the best way to do. Give them time to refute or query you about it. Who knows, maybe THEY have a better idea/angle/solution.

Well, at least that's what I did, anyway. Takes a whole lot of effort and patience for sure - more than just ordering and bullying people to do stuff. But it's really freaking worth it. I'm not sure if it's the right way. But i sure as hell know what is the wrong way.

Suddenly realising that I've learnt a whole load of stuff while working in that place. Suddenly happy. At least I didn't waste my time there. :)

If I were to die tomorrow, I can die happy knowing that I've at least meant something to at least one person on this planet. She'd probably come to my funeral too. :)

A New Found Respect for Parents & Mum

took care of my twin nieces for about 36 hours with my mum.

man, it was brutal.

there is a constant need to be doing something for them or with them, from the moment you're up to the point where you're in bed. and even when you're IN bed there's still their  nightmares you need to comfort them out of.

It's insane. No wonder my bro and SIL always seemed so stoned. Apart from having their crazy doctor hours in the day time.. to come back to their bundle of loud joys.

Just 3 days with them and I'm drained. I still adore them, and think that they are the cutest things ever, but man I couldn't wait to get off duty.

makes me wonder what sort of a parent would I be.

makes me wonder if i even want to have kids. lol. i've always assumed that I would. Maybe one at a time. And I would probably want to be a stay at a home mum for at least 5-6 years. With perhaps a part time job....... as a  blogger. HAHAHAHAHA.

My mum was a trooper man. Damn steady. This 60++ year old woman still can wake up early and layan the kids and she never once complained. AND she has 4 more mornings to go with them. Sometimes I wonder how in the world does she do it.

And then the answer hit me. it was so simple.

My mum's superwoman. Just like her mum was.

My grandma passed away recently, and the things that people repeatedly say about her was that she was a fighter, very strong, very patient. She brought up 8 kids on her own with a salary of a rubber tapper. can you imagine yourself doing now? even with today's salary?

and my mum? She inherited that spirit from grandma. she fought to stay in school, to continue her studies (because they were so poor, and the girls, who were all older, had to help their mum with chores), studied hard to be the top girl in school. how she relentlessly kept her job and was still an awesome mum who kept a roof over our heads, food in our bellies.

and me? well. my superwoman blood is diluted with erm. super lazy blood. tee hee.

But the point of this post was basically to take my hat off to good parents everywhere and my supermum.

<3

33 years + 4 days

Oh happy birthday to me! :D

It was an awesome celebration this year, with friends and families.. and gifts. People always say that gifts don't matter. But guess what - THEY ARE LYING.

GIFTS ALWAYS MATTER.

ALWAYS.

Don't ever listen to anyone when they say it don't matter.

:p

But really, a gift could come in any form - in fact just even remembering to wish the birthday person on his/her birthday is the most simple form of an awesome gift. To me, at least, anyway. It puts a silly grin on my face. Eventhough I KNOW that facebook prompted you to do so, but at least you made the effort. :)

But presents to unwrap is bonus points. :D

Thank you all (you know who you are) for making the effort.
I appreciate EVERYTHING! XOXOXO


So 30+++ already hehe!

In spite of the crazy adventurous I've had .. especially in the past few years - i'm still no where closer to figuring out what my grand plan is. You know.. the one you figure out what you're put on earth to do. Ya that one. I haven't figured that out.

It's a work in progress - figuring things out about myself. Apparently something I havent been doing for the longest time. Can you imagine not knowing what you like or dont like? I mean, if you're not gonna know yourself, who will? Who can? Honestly, no one else loh.

This is the best part of my life so far, really. I feel good. Well, in spite of not enjoying the job yet and still looking for an exit, and still a spinster, and feeling older, hearing my bones creak, not recovering from a hangover fast enough and still not earning my million bucks or driving that sports car, or having gone to Europe or USA or Japan for my big year long holiday trip.. BUT IT COULD BE WHOLE LOT WORSE. :)

I've got my family who cares! My fun friends who keep in touch! A roof over my head! Mummy's home cooked food! A salary to buy stuff! A car to take me around! Working limbs! It's all good. :)

It's sometimes easy to forget to be grateful for the small stuff...... and not sweat over... the small stuff, haha.

So onward with life! Looking forward to all the awesome presents it brings. :)

Shortest Stint Ever

Yup. It's been slightly over 2 months and I have just decided that this current stint just isn't working out for me. However, it's not wasted. In just 2 short months, I have learnt that:

1. I work best when given the bandwidth to focus on a task at a time. Means, I can't juggle many things which requires the same amount of attention at the same time. Nope. No insane multitasking for me. Enough of kidding myself, haha.

2. I can't create shit from thin air. I'm no good at originating ideas or cooking up something from nothing. But what I am great is improving things. Or mixing up stuff to create something better when given a set of guidelines, or instructions, or scenarios.

3. I DETEST PR. Because it comes with small fluffy talk. I prefer getting straight to the point. and I have no patience for people wasting my time. Give me what I need and I'm out of your face - which is a win win situation because I don't waste your time and you don't waste mine. I bet if we all get to the point there will be more hours in a day for us.

4. I HATE to hardsell. Or lie through my teeth to close a deal. If I have to sell something, it'll be based  on FACTS and FIGURES. Apparently no one likes that.

5. Everyone is selfish to some degree. :( It's really a dog eat dog world. This fact is making me super depressed today. Even when people seem NICE to you it's because they are actually trying to get something out of you. I can actually start smelling fake nice-ness now. Go me. wonder if there is a company where the employees actually WORK TOGETHER AND HELP EACH OTHER TOWARDS A COMMON GOAL apart from charity organisations. Maybe if it was a company that didn't focus solely on sales and profits... oh wait. That's a charity organisation isn't it. Sigh.

6. I work best in an English speaking environment. No compromise on that. Can you imagine a chicken and horse talking to each other. No one understand anything, everything gets lost in translation, everyone gets frustrated, nothing gets done. Even if something gets done, it gets done so wrongly. Friends will know how basic and horrendous my cantonese is. How shocked was I to find out that in this era, there are people whose english is worse than my cantonese. Way to go Malaysian education system. mou tak teng.

7. I don't like it when I sense that people around me are not honest or open with me. Worse still is when you find out that they cannot keep things to themselves which you have shared with them in confidence.

8. I enjoy drinking for leisure. I do not enjoy drinking for work. These are mutually exclusive things, as I have slowly learnt.... lol.

9. I do want to work late every night anymore. I WANT to be home. I WANT to spend time with family and friends. I WANT the energy to be able to pursue my OWN stuff.

10. I've most importantly learnt that I should trust my gut instincts more. I knew that something was off with this offer. It was something in the way it was offered to me. How some of my queries weren't given a proper answers. Or the first impression I got when I first stepped into the office. .. there were a few signs. But I ignored those and went ahead with it anyway. Whenever my gut feels something is off, I should learn to listen to it. Should've waited on it just a BIT more to see what transpired with the OTHER opportunity.. but oh well. I made the decision. It is done. I shall move on.

There. Lesson learnt. Can't say that it hasn't been exciting. Can't say that I haven't learnt anything. Can't say I haven't met people and gained new experiences. :) Living is all about learning afterall, innit?

Now to find the time to tell them. And find me a new job which will hopefully satisfy some of my basic requirements ....like item #6. tee hee.

I'm even thinking about going back too cushion number crunching job man... so that I actually have MORE time to pursue my hobby of... erm.. drinking. Hahahahahahah. Ironic.

Round and a Round and a Round We Go.

This post is inspired by PMS and champagne.

Not too long ago, this post would've been about me freaking out. Freaking out about not meeting my so-called, obliged life KPIs. You know, the whole thing about getting a great job that pays you shitloads, getting married, having kids.

The old me would've shook my head and asked myself WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.

The old me would've freaked out whenever someone is against whatever I'm doing - be it a friend, or a family.

The old me would've felt the clock ticking, because I want to get hitched and have that kid now. and I'm desperately clinging on to relationships that barely work.

The new me is like, fuck that. If it doesn't happen maybe it isn't meant to be. I ain't gonna settle for any piece of shit.

I look around me and I've realised that people who went through conventional paths of life aren't necessarily happier or better. In fact, they could be in worse shape. There's nothing to envy because everybody chooses their own paths, their lives are different. Just because it could work for them, doesn't mean it could work for me.

Detractors' lives aren't a bed roses either - so really why should I feel upset when they question my life? I'm done with people judging me. Telling me that I should get a REAL job. Feeling bad for me because i'm still "single". Telling me I should be this, or doing that.

Thanks for caring. I love advise and encouragement. But please, keep the pity party and the high horse to yourself. Just because I do not walk down your path does not make me wrong. Or a failure.

Really, I rather be alone for the rest of my life, than "settle" for average just because I'm "supposed to".

Really, I rather be jumping jobs for the rest of my life, rather than having "blind loyalty" just because I'm "supposed to".

Maybe I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe I'm destined to be a nomad.

Yes sometimes it REALLY gets to me - when people are judgemental or hard or negative. But I tell myself now that it's because they truly care. Not because they are malicious... and I feel better. Of course there are days when it gets harder. But it's all in my head, really. It's all within my control.

I've wasted at least 6 years of my life at deadbeat jobs and relationships. I've had enough of mediocrity. I will not waste anymore time than I have to. I will do, and when I am done, I will stop. I won't stick around out of "social obligation". What does that term even mean?

As long as it doesnt hurt anyone, I'm going to keep doing what makes me happy. I'm going to keep learning. I'm gonna keep experiencing. I'll be done when I say I'm done.

Because as long as I'm happy, nobody can tell me I'm not.

Shit, I'm pretty sure when I read this back tomorrow, I won't understand what I've said. lol.

Goodnight world.

Any time spent at regret is wasted time. Be happy. Be at peace.

Into 3 Weeks

This is my third week of the new job. too many words running in my head to describe how it is so far. But it is a combination of the following:

overwhelming
intriguing
exciting
scary
lost

I had a huge cultural shock when i joined. This environment is completely alien to me and I can only be thankful that my past 10 years of colourful working experiences has given me some tools and knowledge to sort shit out on my own, sort of/

I have to admit that there has been more than once which I have doubted my decision. More than once I wanted to throw in the towel. More than once I had to calm myself down when I was at the verge of being in tears. More than once I have thought about how it would be if I had just taken up the other more comfortable,  familiar opportunity. More than once I just wanted to stay in bed from mental and physical exhaustion wondering what madness is this for committing myself into something as nutty as this. I realise that it's because I want to keep on learning. Keep on doing and experiencing new things. This is of course to the detriment of my career path, salary, and possibly added stress - but what is the meaning of life if you're not going to be challenged by something new every now and then? Where's the fun in the mundane, the safe, and the mechanical routine? I totally wanted this, and nothing is ever perfect.

And then there are times, like tonight, when I feel like the decision I made is completely spot on. Look, if I never had the chance to do this, I will never had to push myself out of my comfortable zone  - I would never have had to force myself to meet people, learn to communicate, learn to be human. I am forced to read people, to understand them, to try and anticipate them. So much opportunity to observe and absorb. I am constantly surrounded by salespeople. I used to hate salespeople - to me they talked too much are are never honest.. and now I'm starting to realise why they have to be what they are. And now I have a newfound respect for them. Sometimes people have to do what they have to do to get the job done. Hate the game. Don't hate the player. If I had my cushy cubicle job, I will never have so much opportunity to learn and observe ... people. We are such fascinating creatures. :) That being said, I can never be com

I will keep reminding myself to be grateful to all the help I've been getting from my new found colleagues. Not all of them are as readily helpful -- and that's something I need to learn to overcome. But I at awe at how some people are just so, unselfish, self sacrificial, and generous.
At least for now. I'm going to take everything at face value because there's no other reason to doubt kindness.

So I guess the only left to say is - BRING IT ON. If it doesn't kill me I'm just gonna keep kicking ass.