The Warlords

ZOMG! ANDY! JET LI! TAKESHI! HOW TO PASS? CANNOT PASS! DEFINITELY NO PASSING THE YEAR WITHOUT WATCHING THIS MOVIE! I'm already giving it 3 stars (out of five) just based on the cast-list alone (Andy! Jet Li! Takeshi! ZOMG!). Actually, the pessimist in me said "All-star cast, bound to fuck up. Look at all the other Hollywood movies.".. but the optimist retorted with a "THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE LAH IDIOT". The optimist was right! It was good! IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD that Good isn't nearly enough to describe just how GOOD it was! Pay NO attention to the bullshit synopsis you read off Wikipedia's or GSC's website because it is ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. This is a fucking bloodthirsty WAR MOVIE which could FUCK YOU UP, and definitely NOT another stupid arty crouching Ang Lee tiger flying dagger hero gay romance disguised as a lame kung fu movie. Okay la, got elements of romance but it only takes up about 0.01% of airtime. Flying body parts! Lots of blood! BLOODY! CHOP! STAB! KICK! SHOOT! KILL KILL KILL! KILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! How the hell was this rated a "U"? Wah got emo part also. Wah shit - disturbing lah. Tokkok. Politic-ing. Scheming. Okay, timecheck. WOAH the soundtrack and the cinematography was so fantastic it could make a grown man so overwhelmed with complicated emotions, he breaks down crying. So. Damn. EPIC!!! Bold for emphasis, just in case you didn't get how EPIC!!! it was. Andy Lau really gets better with age. Jet Li got chubby but homeboy can still kick your ass and your mother's! Takeshi was a little too clean cut boyish good looking to fit - but I am So. NOT. Complaining. Unfortunately, the girl wasn't pretty at all - but WHO CARES SHE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

Disturbing, a teeny tiny bit draggy (Chinese serious movies tend to feel like that, IMHO), but great. A must watch.

Start the year with a good war movie. End the year with another good one. YEAY!

I Am Legend

I didn't read the book. So I didn't have the faintest clue what to expect from it. All I had was the trailer and it told me that Will Smith was the last man on earth, which faintly smells like "Castaway" IMHO. Yeah I know he isn't alone - he had a dog. Besides, how bad can a movie be with Will Smith AND a German Shepard in it? I love Will Smith. He rocks. I don't like ALL the movies he's been at, been in every movie he was in, he was good. Wah Luckily somebody spoiled the movie for me already so I was already expecting the er, unexpected. Can't go into details what it is but trust me, the first thought that may go through your mind AND your mouth out loud is "WHAT THE FUCK!!!?!?!?!?!" EH! Why is there a poster with the Superman & Batman logo merged together? WAH easter egg! For me, the pace of the movie a bit off. Beginning felt VERY LONG. Middle still felt like the beginning. Then when the end came... eh? Sudah habis cerita? Potong stim lah, all the slow ass build up towards it and THAT'S IT? SO SIMPLE? NO. SERIOUSLY. SOMETHING IS GONNA HAPPEN AFTER THIS RIGHT? WHAT??? THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING ALREADY? Mahai. Fucking anti-climax only. But watch it anyway because like very good wine, Mr Smith just gets better with age. And still bloody hot too.

AND I still have yet the watch Enchanted. :(

Tempted to catch The Golden Compass (I didn't read the book, so should be okay right, Eyeris?)

National Treasure 2? I dunno.. 1 wasn't that great, and pretty much forgettable.

I want to watch Warlords also. JET LI! TAKESHI! ANDY LAU! And have I mentioned, TAKESHI? TAKESHI! _drool_

OMG THE DARK KNIGHT! Actually the Joker is getting so much attention now it's more like THE JOKER. Poor Batman playing bridesmaid in his own movie. But that's only because Christian Bale has nothing to prove - except maybe how he'll manage to look as tall as, or taller than Heath Ledger, kekeke.

Have A Couple of Questions For All You Car Enthusiasts.

1. Why does the damn Myvi 1.3 auto guzzle so much petrol? I spend like 50 bucks in LESS than a week basically just driving back and forth work... and making pit stops at surrounding mega malls for a bite or kaikai.

2. Is there a way to make the car guzzle LESS petrol? I heard something about changing the air filter? That true? Any others?

I need specifics. Am a complete noob with car-ry jargons and lingos.

Thank you!

P/s: Yes, am guilty of speeding. The myvi IS knows to be draggy when changing gears, right? So stepping on it won't make it any better yeah?

My Chemical Romance Concert

I WAS THERE! (whoo hoo!)

THE RED AREA! RIGHT AT THE FRONT! (yeay!)

WITH THE SCREAMING SHOVING CRAZY KIDS! (bloody kids.)

AND THE RAIN! (bloody nonstop rain.)

WITH GERARD SCREAMING SHIT LIKE "I AM SORRY, MCR COULDN'T MAKE IT TODAY, BUT WE'RE THE AMERICAN SEX BOYS REPLACING THEM! I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT!" (with all that screaming, it sounded like the crowd were very fine with that)

AND GYRATING HIS HIPS LIKE A STRIPPER! (_drool drool drool_)

AND THE PIANIST IS AWESOME. (even when I was half deaf)

AND THE LEAD GUITARIST IS KINDA CUTE! (in the dark)

IT WAS QUITE AWESOME! (but not the Qing up and waiting for 45 minutes before they fucking showed up on stage)

WHO WANTS TO TOUCH ME!

I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!

(Damn, my body aches. Getting too old for this shit)

Thanks Eyeris! You rock my socks!!!! Remember yeah! I'm booking tickets for The Dark Knight next year!!!!!!!! :)

Don't Do This.

I was at the club last Friday celebrating a friend's last few days of freedom as a bachelor (hahahaha).

So I though, let's experiment. I'll refrain from indulging myself - because I got flat out wasted the weekend before and the trauma was still too fresh in my mind. I'll stay sober, I thoughtl Might be fun to see what's THAT like.

When I first started out clubbing (I was what? 23?), I barely drank. It was like ALL dancing, and ALL coke. Whiskey and vodka tasted like shit to me. I got high on oxygen and the fumes of drunken people around me.

Then I started drinking bit by bit. One sip there. One chug here. In time, I became like everybody else - I'm drinking as much as if not more than I dance. One step further, I'm getting drunk. Another level up, I'm puking once I reach home. Another, I'm puking in the toilet of the club. Finally - I drink till I pass out at random places.

Every time I do that, the whole passing out thing, remorse inevitably follows. And I'm thinking to myself "Mygod I'm 27 can't even hold my drinks WTF happened last night anyway shit I shouldn't do this anymore ohmygod this is bad the ground is moving argh my stomach hurts no more this is the last time". Before I know it I'm back in the club, chugging at everything that's stuffed at my face faster than you can say "mahatma ghandi".

So that night I drank minimum, and by the end of the night I'm only drinking Coke. I realise that I see and feel things so differently when I'm not imbibed, it made me wonder omg, just how much does drinking contributes to the amount of fun once has? Everybody around me is drinking, laughing, making friends with strangers, drinking some more, breaking glasses, spilling drinks, drinking some more, talking inaudibly, smiling, flirting, dancing like a brazen whore, hooking up - all those drunk happy faces! My god!

And there I was, sitting down, watching everybody, sober as mahatma ghandi - feeling downright BORED, bitching in my head about the bloody overplayed songs (UMBRELLA? FUCK YOU MR DJ), about the smoke getting into my eyes, smoke suffocating me, the damn whiskey being so bitter, and what is it so fucking dark? wtf people puking everywhere, watching other people "trying" to dance and wondering if I looked like THAT when I'm drunkdancing, and if I did then maybe I should NEVER drink again, and omg the toilet is so fucking disgusting wtf are they doing puking on the walls, oh god no more whiskey for me that shit's disgusting, please don't make me dance the songs suck, no no don't touch me like that - I don't know you that well omg stay away please.

Needless to say, I didn't quite enjoyed myself as much as I would've liked.

Being sober at a party sucks.

I'm NEVER doing this again.

My Mini Reviews.

Copying Eyeris's style of not a review review, but not quite. My review's format is going to be more like "spit everything out from my head right at the moment I'm typing it" sort. Short and sweet posts are good right? Yes, and so are updates.

Stardust
I have read the book and I kinda liked it. I have watched the movie and I liked it even MORE than the book! Movie was not exactly like the book, but it is so damn adorable you'll leave the theatre (only after the movie of course) with a goofy smile on your face and a warm feeling in your tummy. The cast was right, the scenes were right, the lines were right, the storytelling was right. The lead guy was damn lovable in a puppy-eyed sort of way. I did feel that somebody a bit more ethereal than Claire Danes should take her role, but I can't think of any names. Definitely NOT Kirsten Dunst, though. And Cate Blanchett's too old. Somebody younger. Easily one of my favourite movie of the year (tied top spot with 300!). It didn't try too hard to tell you a story, it just TOLD you the story - something which a lot of movies these days try too hard to do but just can't seem to get it right. Stardust got it just right.

Hitman
Lead character looks cool until he starts to speak. The way he lifelessly stares into the screen, right at me, as he swiftly disembowels yet another victim just makes me want to take him home and.... I can't freaking believe he was that floppy wristed disjointed hipped gay bad guy from Die Hard 4.0. Until he opens his yap, then try as hard as I can I just could NOT forget that he IS that floppy wristed disjointed hipped gay bad guy from Die Hard 4.0, which totally loses that bad-boy-sex-appeal. The girl is kind of goth hot but is totally pointless and is only there to spice it up with some sex, which we can see NONE of. Nobody can act for shit.The script murders IQ. The plot was... WHAT PLOT? Save money, play the damn game. Don't bother watching it.

I'm not even going to catch Beowulf - because watching fake Angelina Jolie on screen just doesn't it do it for me. But I might try to catch the Enchanted - because somebody told me that *I* would like it. Apparently this somebody reads my blog and KNOW that I'm an ANGRY, BITTER baby eating machine and YET this person thinks I might like it. If he is wrong, his first newborn I shall consume. You know who you are, so be afraid, because I KNOW where you live. Muahahahahaha!

Booze Parties For The Soul

Carlsberg invited a few of us to the launch of their sibling, Tuborg. Obviously the only way I get to go for any of this kind of good stuff is because I know femes bloggers like Suanie - yeay!


VIP okay, don't play play!

Kudos to Tuborg for bringing in the pull-off bottle cap! No more waiting for the damn bartender to pop open your bottle again! No more having to lug around a fancy shaped bottle opener for emergency drinking sessions ever again! And the pop sound it makes when you pull off the cap sounds like a deeper version of the pop sounds bubble wraps make when you pop it! It makes me want to pull off caps for everybody just to hear it go POP! Brilliant!


Which guy wouldn't want to be the GM marketing for Tuborg right now?

The highlight of the night for me was the dance performances. There were 2 groups performing. The first one was by a local b-boy group called GBC - Gila Battle Crew. I'm so proud to say that we actually have some fairly decent local breakdance groups in Malaysia! All those crazy outstanding stunts you think you can only catch on Youtube? The walking on the hands, the turning ON their head, the hand stand..... we saw it ALL and MORE that night.


GBC tengah posing gila.

And the second group were imports from Australia called The Next Step.

Please, let me first digree. Anybody who knows me well enough would know that when I was 10 I wanted to run away from home to join the Russian ballet troupe, or how I go crazy when I see any sort of synchronised group dancing (that's why I heart N'sync), or how my eyes glaze over when I watch figure skating and ballroom dancing competitions on tv, or how I HAVE TO HAVE TO catch movies with dancing themes in it, or how I stop breathing when I watch the wade robson project on mtv...... etc etc.

What I'm strying to say is, The Next Step took my breathe away, stopped my heart from beating, and made me breakout in cold sweat. Awesome does NOT even being to describe how fucking fantastic their performance was. What is so unique about this group is on that night, they seamlessly fuse together 3 styles of dancing in their performance - tap dancing, hip-hop AND breakdance to the music orgy of which includes everything from pop to house to latino.

And it didn't hurt that the tap dancers were bleeding hot too.

Yummmm!!!

I really wanted to sneak them home as a door gift, but I'm sure the organisers wouldn't be too happy with that.


Camwhoring with ST, Suanie and my very high forehead!

This is where I end my post with a thank you for the invites and a shameless plea to everybody to take me along for more booze parties, kthx!

(pictures brought to you by Suanie whom shall not be linked here only because she is linked basically everywhere else! :P Muaks!)

More:
Photos by Mike Yip
Obviously, Suanie was there too!
About The Next Step (thanks Suanie!)

P/s: On a totally unrelated note : MY STUPID BABY CANON DIGICAM IS FIXED! FOR FREE! Thank you so much all you nice people at Canon YOU ROCK! Eventhough I was secretly hoping for a brand spanking newer, slimmer camera model in exchange but HEY! I HAVE A CAMERA NOW! EVERYTHING IS A-OKAY! YEAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! COMING SOON! More shameless self-portraits of MEMEME to haunt you in your sleep, while you brush your teeth, when you pay your taxes.....

WJS 5122

Yeah you. The cockfag driving that champagne coloured Honda who SUDDENLY cut into my lane at a TURNING without signalling.

I hope you die of the most embarrassing most painful venereal disease known to mankind which rots your slimy smelly puss covered dick until it falls off. Your mother should've left you to the wolves when she could, what was she thinking?

Real Life Fairytale.

I'm tired and not well rested. Apart from it being a dreaded Monday, today feels like nothing went right over the weekend.

I like fairytales. I wish I was living in one. Except, I don't want to be THAT useless, dependent, skanky, damsel in distress princess who sits around and wait for some stupid rich handsome prince in his majestic white steed to save me from a tall tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon where we will then ride into the sunset, back to his castle and live happily ever after.

In my fairytale, I want a stupid stable 9-5 job I actually don't hate which pays me enough money to live my current lifestyle comfortably without my having to worry about budgeting, or when is the next price revision of EVERYTHING and perhaps fall in love with a simple, sensible, guy with a 9-5 job who shares some similar interests and loves me back like I love him, and if I'm lucky, maybe he won't give me too much trouble, or have me worry about him too much... Then once we're both financially comfortable, maybe we'll get married, open a joint account (apart from our own personal accounts; where we'll contribute a percentage of our pay into it every month) and get a cozy place for ourselves - with a dog please. On the weekdays we'll just chill out at home after work, sipping at our drinks to wind down while we catch our favourite tv series. We'll have our fights. We'll make up. We'll have our trips and holidays in faraway places, we'll indulge in good food when we like to, buy that toy or pretty thing we want, take a drive to a local island on long weekends, catch the movies we want to catch, hit the gym. Then maybe we'll have kids.

I'm not asking for any fucking 10,000 dollar handbag. I don't need a pretentious overpriced fast car. I don't need that stupid holiday villa at venice. I don't want Karl Lagerfield to design my clothes. I don't want a private jet. I don't need a diamond mine. I don't even want a stupid large stone on my finger. I don't want 10 maids to bring up my children. I don't need a brad pitt. I don't want to quit my job and live the life of a tai tai. I don't need to be famous. I don't need that latest most expensive electronic gadget. I don't need a guy who can afford to buy me everything and anything I might ever want, or don't want.

I want an average life, with some niceties sprinkled here and there, that'll be perfect. I know this world is some tough shit. I don't need an extravagant happily ever after. I just want my happily ONCE in a while.

Sure I dream about greater things. About shooting for the stars, and hoping to land among the clouds. Then I wake up to this... real life. And in the real life, if you're not born into the right family, even the simplest dreams are so hard to achieve. That is, if it that dream doesn't involve a plan trying to snare some rich, loaded "prince" to cater for your every whim and fancy, unlike a lot of girls I know and heard about, which disgusts me to no end. That's just not right lah, imho. Coz at the end of the day don't you want to look back and know that you achieved something for myself with yourown two hands? I do.

What's wrong with not expecting for too much? What's wrong with not dreaming big? What's wrong with being happy with just the simple things? Be the best daughter, sibling, friend, employee, companion, or (maybe) parent one can possibly be. Fuck when you think about it, that's no simple feat, okay.

In the end, I'm just an average person, who looks forward to simple pleasures like sleeping-in on a rainy day and catching a good movie. Trying to live my life the best I can. It's not SUPER - but it's so very stable and reliable. Realistic. Constant and comfortable. I like it.

I don't mind being mediocre. What's with the inflated price of everything and the almost no power of purchase with our shitty $$$ - today's world is so tough that even average is just so hard to BE.

I'm happy leaving being super to the cartoons.

Besides, the guy I fall in love with should treat me like a princess and pamper me once in a while. :)

But hey, that's just me!

Happy Monday.

Milo Replied!

Remember this?

Milo replied! But the response was damn boring lah... standard issue template. Called me "sir" some more. So disappointing.

Anyway, because sharing is caring, here it is, just for you!

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for contacting MILO website. There is no secret.........Just prepare MILO according to the instructions on our label to get that perfect drink. Should you have further clarifications, please call our Free phone 1800-88-3433 during office hours and our representative will be happy to assist you.

Regards.

Nestlé Consumer Services

On another note: WERE YOU STUCK IN THAT STUPID JAM TODAY? STUPID STUPID STUPID.
And another: OI. WHY YOU CALL ME CHUBBY!