Internal Thoughts.

Oh my god.

I am so totally aware that I should be sleeping right now because I actually do care about being able to function at work tomorrow. But the urge to blog is just too much to ignore. So here I am blogging at 2.15am on a Thursday night. shhhh. don't tell my boss okay. :PPPPPPP

why am i fucking blogging whenever i'm feeling extremely high ar. this is fast becoming a habit. am i turning alcoholic? do i actually creatively function better when I'm high? Wait. Don't tell me. I don't think I want to know. Let me enjoy this a bit longer.

I have to reiterate that the urge to blog in me is very high. Is just that I don't have my own pc, so.... it's inconvenient lah, which is why i dont bother.

Anyway. first thing first. clubbing in bamboo is fucking fun because the DJ plays MOSTLY danceable music. i say mostly because the fella likes to do the following which annoys the hell out of me:
1) plays a couple of songs more than once... not really complaining when he plays my favourite songs, but i don't feel the same about other songs which I don't quite enjoy.
2) plays karaoke-ish songs in the middle of the night. Karaoke-ish songs are only meant to be played at the END of the night lah idiot.
... other than night, fucker plays very very danceable music ...... thus far.

....and a 700ml black label for 300 bucks is still fucking overpriced for something i can get for 100++ bucks got 1 litre duty free at airport but what can i do about it, eh?

anyway, random shit time, because i'm high and can say almost whatever i feel like saying:

i'm 30. time is running out, but i'm still kinda young.

i wish i picked things up faster, but i know everything takes time.

i wish i had the natural talent to speak/sell/convince because it's so fucking relevant in life, but perhaps i will learn those eventually.... but why not NOW.

it's true what they say about "it's not what u know, it's who u know". unfortunately, my no bullshit assessment of myself is that i have neither, which means i have to work from ground zero, which sucks for me.

i know hard work counts for something but i wished i didnt have to work so hard.

i would probably go somewhere later in life, but i'm a impatient motherfucker who thinks too much so why not the hell now.

i know the fact that the only thing that is really stopping me from being truly great is myself - this might take forever to fix.

i really love to have a somebody, but right now when I'm high, i must say that it's better being alone than settling. in general lah.

i probably want too much too soon and have too high expectations which might mean that i'll never be happy - it's a good and bad thing ... right?

i don't care what u think, but i do truly love to dance, but the lack of basics, and with my fucked up knees means that there's a high possibility that i can never do it for a living. :)

my nieces are so cute. until they are naughty, which is when they are not cute and i'd feel like throwing them away, but the moment they are NOT naught i truly love them to bits.... until i remember what my brother told me " they are mine yeah, not yours. get your own ". sad. u think so easy ar? tiu.

lady gaga still rocks my socks.

i can't think of anymore.

till the next drunken post, goodnight.