Exciting Times

Been busy past week trying to prep for my first paid gig to make drinks at a friend's birthday party.

Lots of hard work and after I was done, I was aching all over and it took me about 2 days to recover from it. But it was so much fun and quite fulfilling  I guess this is how it feels like to be doing something you really enjoy doing. I could do this every weekend (I would like to say everyDAY but the body is not willing lol).

A lot of people to thank for this. The perpetrator of course, his friend, and all the help I got and well wishes from friends and family. There was so many things that could've gone wrong, but it didn't. It wasn't smooth either but it went pretty okay. It was great, really. Thankful and grateful!

If I keep my mind open and throw away the fear, perhaps it could be a start to something... :)

Going with the Flow

2013 has been an interesting start so far.

I feel different. I think it comes from me trying to keep my mind open, and working on not saying no too quickly.

Just last year, I would've never thought about quitting my job without a next job in place.... but why not?

Just last year, the moment someone gave me an idea to do something I would never thought about doing, my first answer will be a no. Or that's rubbish. Or that could never happen to me. Or I'll never be able to do that. .... but why not?

Just last year, I had a secure job with a secure pay and was in the comforts of my own little world which I "knew".... but I don't know what I don't know!

Now I find myself in this strange place I've never been to before - uncertainty and the unknown.

And I'm totally enjoying the ride.

I'm starting to get really picky about what I want out of my life. And I'm starting to understand that I am me. And what I am while not perfect, is great. That I don't need to be anyone else. I don't want to be anyone else any more. That I don't have a give a fuck about what others have to say about me, or the labels they put on me. Stick and stones, man.

People will come and go in my life, that is true. But that does not mean I should not open my heart and my mind to people, no matter how briefly. Why reject people or their ideas? There's always something new to learn and experience with anyone and everyone.

I don't know where the road will lead me and I am honestly scared shitless, but I keep telling myself that if I hang on to the boat long enough, the current's bound to take me someplace.

Besides, I've been told that it's the journey that matters, not quite the destination.

Everything I'm learning about life is in the journey.

Smile a little more.

Care a little more.

Living is great.

Knowing What I Love.

I love music. I don't have a nice voice and I'm not great at playing instruments. But when a good song goes on I can feel it running through my skin, pumping the blood in my veins, it drives me wild. I get the tingles, and I need to move. I wouldn't really classify it as dancing per se, more like someone getting some kinda epilepsy attack .... but hey you know what? I don't care what people say or think. How can one just sit down quietly and  not move when good music is on? When the music is good, moving is the only way I know how to enjoy it. I can't contain it.

I love dance. I get inspired every time I see a musical, or some dance routine on youtube or one of those reality shows or even the silly dance movies. I fucking love it with every fibre of my being. I love watching it, experiencing it. I love moving. The expressions and emotions conveyed through motion. Oh how I feel what they feel. My heart beats so hard. My lungs want to explode. I feel so giddy. I fucking love dance.

I love booze. The drinking, the making of, the history, observing how other people react to it. I love how it tastes. Oh and how it tastes! I love how it's such a great social tool to break any ice. I love how there are so many mind boggling varieties on this planet, and how there is endless possibilities with them. I love it whenever I find something I personally like. Or how perfectly it can be paired with food, the weather, dynamics of an event. It's so exciting what one can do with it. It's so exciting to know that there's gonna be that single malt that's gonna hit the spot. Or to find oh my god, that is the most perfect tasting cocktail (hardly happens here). And really, there's just no greater joy than to make drinks for people and watch them get high and happy over it. :)

I love writing, reading and clever, witty scripts. Sometimes I hear a cleverly written script and I go batshit insane excited. Oh the sheer genius. Oh the wit! I love the infinite possibilities of weaving words together so that it tells a story. In different emotions. In different tones. In different voices and scenarios. Tugging at your heart strings, making you laugh, making you cry. Making you think. Transporting you to the wonder of your imaginations. Of science. Of facts. Of Art. Of History. Of How tos and whys.

Now if only I was brilliant at the things I love and can find a way to make tonnes of money from it. :)

Get Out There

It's too easy to pass judgement, get disappointed by other people, or to put yourself in a position to be hurt by other people.  It's too easy to slink back into my own shell, under the covers, in the lovely company of my own and just stay away from all that. It's so easy to not want to be socialable.

But we were made to be sociable creatures for a reason. Survival. It is as natural as breathing. To deny oneself of socialising is to deny one from living.

I need to stop making excuses. Get out there.

Because there's so much to hear.
So much stories to live vicariously in.
So much to learn.

Just by being with people. Just by being among them.

What I'm saying is that I'm glad I made the decision to not "feel tired" to go home. Instead, decided to drive out to meet up with the girls at yumcha yesterday. It was super fun, enlightening and inspiring.

Need to get my ass out there and stop rejecting offers to go out.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Image credit: Official website

It's finally here.  Yes it's been nearly 10 years! Can you believe that The Return of the King was aired back in 2003? Man I was still in my 20s. :/

Being a huge fan of the so-called "trilogy" and the book, this prequel did not disappoint.

It almost felt like a reunion whenever I see a familiar old face. Gandalf! Frodo! Elrond! Galadriel! Saruman! Gollum!

Each dwarf, and there are 13 of them this time haha - Thorin (the boss!), Gloin (hello Gimli's dad!), Oin, Balin, Dwalin, Bofur, Bifur, Kili, Fili, Dori, Nori, Ori, Bombur, each of them looked distinctively different. Had half expected them to all look like Gimli haha. Like how all elves kind of looked the same.

Image credit: nerdbastards.com

Martin Freeman was an awesome Bilbo, except I can't forget his role in Love Actually as the porn extra having fake sex with the female porn extra LOL. No idea why that scene stuck in my head when I have also seen him being brilliant in BBC's Sherlock Holmes, but I digress. He was excellent.

Scenes are breathtakingly beautiful - no wonder NZ is cashing out on this like mad. The landscape is insane.

Cinematography was familiar exact replica of the previous LOTRs. There were several scenes which bugged the shit out of me. For someone who's watched all three LOTR's in its director's cut, some movements and scenes were too similar, to the point where I think it was an exact repetition. I wonder if this was a fan service Easter egg thing. There was also, I felt, one scene which necessarily stretched too long to feature the oddball wizard, Radagast - which didn't add anything to the plot.

My mum napped through half the film. She said every time she closed and opened her eyes, it was a fighting scene... haha. Yes, there are lots of fighting. :)

Gandalf kicks a lot of ass here. Verbally and physically. Still my favourite character ever.

And boy, the baritone of the dwarves' singing in the beginning. Hauntingly, solemnly beautiful. It sets the background music for the rest of the movie and it is so.... fitting. Lots of singing here! Happy ones too... and the familiar Hobbit soundtrack is featured quite a bit here. Yup, a lot of recycled materials her. really. Again, not sure if it's meant to pay homage to LOTR or just plain laziness lol.

Image source: official website

It's everything you expected from a Jackson-JRR movie and nothing more. No shocking twists. No mind boggling turns. So if you didn't like first first LOTRs, you're not going to like this.

If you've read The Hobbit, you'll know that the book is about 1/3 of the thickness of the original LOTR. Greedy Jackson's taking it a bit too far by milking this book into 3,  haha But I'm still going to watch the other 2. Can't wait for Benedict Cumberbatch's Smaug to show up in the next one at the end of the year. :(

At nearly 3 hours, it's slightly on the long side. I wonder how the director's cut is going to be lol.

Watch it with a full stomach. The introduction scene's gonna make you wanna lick the screen.

In a nutshell, enjoyable and familiar. It'll do.

More:
Official website
8.4/10 on IMDB
Showtimes
Trailers

2013 resolutions (edited)

13 August 2013- Revisited

Because there are a few bad habits which I really need to work on.

1. NOT using the phone

- that means no texting while driving. leave it on bluetooth and chuck it aside. It's stupid and dangerous. As bad as drunk driving.
- also no bring out the phone when in social engagements unless it's to tweet. or take pics. NOT to check for messages.

13/8/2013: I started good with this, then in the recent months went back to the bad habit again. I will strive to put away the damn phone in a hard to reach place BEFORE i enter the car. 

2. Not to mix my drinks and/or get plastered.

- Because after I mix my drinks I inadvertently GET plastered, and after I get plastered I inadvertently do and say stupid things which are unlike me which I WILL regret the next day. IF I even remember what they are. 2012 hasn't been a good year for me on this. I have to already learn my lesson now.

13/8/2013: Man. I've had at least a couple of incidences where i got so drunk I 1)forgot where I parked my car and 2)i dont remember. This is DANGEROUS and HAS got to stop.

3. Update my blogs at least 3x 2x a week.

- because i do want to be serious about that, and I enjoy it so why not.

13/8/2013: Complete failure this one. been updated an average of once a month perhaps. and the other blog? Hahahha. I blame it on the horrible internet at home.... which is a poor excuse since it's easily fixable. Why don't I want to get my ass on it? My response would be - tired. Terrible excuse. But in other news - I AM READING! at least!

4. Be punctual.
- weather, accidents, jam, the other party is never punctual: not acceptable excuses for me not to learn to manage my time and to show up at a specific time I'm supposed to. Don't like waiting? Bring a book.
13/8/2013: I think I'm getting relatively better at this. But there are still too many social and professional instances where people have waited more than 15 minutes for my ass to show up. Shame on me!

5. Be positive.
- cut down the complaining. seeing the brighter side of things and people (dont bitch). smile. manage that anger.
13/8/2013: I personally think I'm getting better at this. I still have my bout of moodiness and bitchiness........ but at least it's not a tiring constant thing. I think.

New:
6. Get a new job by 2013.
I've been getting too many sleepless nights in the past few months. That horrible feeling that I'm just wasting my time away at the job which 1)is above me 2)in a company I have no pride in working for 3) manned by a CEO i do not respect 4).. and which I don't feel like I'm positively contributing to society in anyway towards anything.

7. Read a book a month.
That's 5 books more to go.

Rise of the Guardians

Image Source: riseoftheguardians.com

Dreamworks has done it again. They have had their hits and misses though. But Shrek 1, Wallace & Gromit, Chicken Run, Kungfu Panda 1 & 2 and How to train your dragon were memorable hits for me.

If you're a die hard Pixar fanboy expecting something very WOW - well, it's definitely not your Pixar. I've observed that Dreamworks stories and storytelling are usually predictable and formulaic (wait, so was Brave, but I'll look the other way and blame everything on Disney) - but that doesn't mean that their animations are any less watchable, fun, warm, cute and funny. Sometimes we just need popcorn instead of sushi. 7-11's Slurpee instead of whiskey on the rocks. Ramlee burger instead of juicy, succulent steak. You get my drift.

I grew up exposed to the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Sandman, Santa Claus and Jack Frost through reading about them mostly or through over-commercialism  So I already have an idea of what they should look or behave like.

Then enters Dreamworks coming in with a dash of fuck you and re-invents each of the character. Each mythical creature was interpreted with a twist - edgy, cute and with a really unique attitude -  which I really enjoyed and kept me entertained throughout the movie. It was like WOAH SANTA DOES WHAT? and like WOAH THAT ATTITUDE ON THAT BUNNY! and AWWW LOOK AT HOW CUTE THE SANDMAN IS WAIT WHAT! It was like being re-introduced to old friends who had a massive personality upheaval and extensive plastic surgey, haha.

The only thing that was slightly odd was that Jack Frost looked like he just walked out of a manga series - his features were very anime-ish. No complains. I guess it helped to make him look super animated, carefree, youthful and very NOW. Also I guess he had to look like a misfit... okay won't say anymore.

Which one of the Guardians was my favourite character? Well, it's a tie between Sandy the Sandman (+1 for being mute and cute! +1 for kicking so much ass) and North aka Santa Claus (+1 for being Russian and +1 for his naughty and nice tatts)

If you really really want to be critical about it, there's actually nothing spectacular to shout about in this movie - there were no memorable lines, no surprises. But the storytelling, the animation, the heart, the development of each character's personality - that was what got to me. I couldn't stop giggling whenever a character gets into action or whenever I spot silly references (there was a tribute to steve irwin too i'm sure of it).

I would want to watch this a few more times.

So if you haven't figured it out, I really love this and at a rating of 7.5/10 looks like the folks at IMDB liked it too. But don't take our word for it - go watch it yourself. It's fun for the whole family!

Image source: awn.com

More:
On IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1446192/
Official website: http://www.riseoftheguardians.com/
Malaysia showtimes: http://tinyurl.com/myshowtimes
Trailers: http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/dreamworks/riseoftheguardians/

not afraid of being me

i dont mince my words, i may be abrasive and vulgar but i am  nice.

i say what i think - could be improved. coz sometimes i dont think before i say

i dont like big groups all the time it gets tiring.

i really enjoy my drink - but that doesn't mean i can drink a lot.

i like food, but i don't snack and i can't eat a lot. i eat when i'm hungry. and when i'm full i stop.

i have my lansi face - but my heart's in the right place

a really good movie, song, show, act, dance really inspires me

i still dont know how to ride a bicycle but maybe i'll learn one day.

i still like my art.

i still enjoy dancing.

i can be too nice.

sometimes i do things spontaneously without thinking through consequences.

other times, i think too much.

i can do accounts in fact i enjoy balancing the numbers, i still do.

i love words. 

i love my crafts wished i had more time.

i care too much sometimes.

other times, i might not care at all when i'm supposed to.

i love my mum. i dont tell her enough, but i would do a lot for her. she is above everything else in my life. and all i want is to make her happy in my own power.

i can be fun.

i can be too serious.

sometimes i take myself too seriously - i shouldnt. just let go my ego.

i have a black sense of humour.

i can be blur - or not updated.

i love and still entertain the idea of having my own family.

if that doesn't work out, i'm still trying to come to terms with being on my own.
i used to think i would like having kids, but not i'm not sure anymore.
same about dogs.

i have a short fuse which needs to be worked on.

i still have not learnt to deal with difficult people and situations, which I will. 

i dont like it when people raise their voices, or when people are angry at me directly or indirectly - i take it personally. eventhough I know i shouldnt because I have no control over them.

i really dont enjoy conflict. 

i really despise lying or being lied to.

i empathise too much.

if it makes sense and doesn't affect me one bit, or if it's trivial to me - i can easily change my mind about something with some convincing.

i really have a lot of excess physical energy sometimes, i should do something to contain that.

i can get addicted or obsessed easily over anything or anyone.

if i had to choose between one gender, i would actually prefer the company of men. and to work/with for them. they are easier to get. simpler creatures. 

i guess it's because i'm not that much of a sekchou irly/girl

i enjoy putting on make up and dressing up. but most times i prefer my jeans and tshirt. and a comfy pair of sneakers.

i'm all for comfort over style/beauty. i wont die to look good. 

but i do like dressing up for special occassions.

i'm still searching for my perfect scent.

i still want to travel the world - see touch taste everything.

i always want to be there for the people i care about, though i don't say or show that often enough.

Minding My Own Business

Sometimes I mistake "caring" with "being a busybody". I'd like to know how where why when what... as if there was something I can do about it, but I can't. I'm just being mega curious.

How does that make my life any better knowing everything? It doesn't. It doesn't help the other person or the situation either. In fact it might aggravate matters because the person who tells you the story might actually expect some action from you which you weren't even thinking about offering in the first place - then you would've accidentally dug a pit big enough for yourself..

So maybe that's what the phrase "ignorance is bliss" really means.

mind your own business. if you can't help, or if there's nothing else within your power you can do for others or the situation, then let others mind their own.

Also, I've been guilty of other related acts:

- being sucked into the mob mentality over a subject matter or a person.
As if I don't have a mind of my own. I mean, if others felt a certain way about something, and if I don't agree, I should try to make my own stand - if not vocally, then at least, by not being part of it. I've been guilty of this quite a number of times. Why? Probably i thought it was easier to be agreeable than have to fend off or disagree and then justify myself against a group of like-minded (and opinionated) people. I like the individuals enough, but in a big group, it feels like everyone's worst side of themselves are laid out in the open. I was part of that. Looking back, it was wrong. I don't like it. I wished I had the courage then.

- and defending other people
they are capable of defending themselves. If others want to bad mouth or bitch, while it is good practice to not actively participate in it, there's no reason to defend others blindly instead. might do more harm than good because who died and made me their spokesperson?

- indulging in gossip
what the hell for? how does that make my life better? It does not. Neither will it to you.

Moving forward, I endeavor to stay away from such unproductive, negative acts in the future. It is to no one's benefit. And it serves no purpose than incite negative feelings based on presumptions and assumptions which are not verified by the other party.

To improve as a person and be compassionate, we need to NOT dwell on the negatives of circumstances or a person. The energy and effort spent in these acts could be used to do better, more productive things like read, or create something awesome, or spending time with loved ones, do chores, catch a good episode of Suits.

Simple enough in theory isn't it. Now to put it into practice.

Observe

stay in the background.

smile.

nod.

stay silent.

no one will know.

no one will remember.

just stay.

in the dark.

in the corner.

by the wall.

away from prying eyes.

hidden from suspicious ears.

shut your mouth.

open your eyes.

enjoy the moment.

breathe in.

breathe out.

watch and learn.

but don't say much.

unless spoken to.

keep smiling.

there's so much to take in.