Balik Kampung - Episode 3

This final bit features the interiors of the house.


The typical kampung cement kitchen. It's always so wet and messy looking. Gotta wear them heavy red wooden clogs. When grandpa was alive he used to be here most of the time cooking up a storm.


The old, dark, dusty store room downstairs which used to scare me a lot as a child. This was where they'd always store the Coke and Shandy, so I had to frequent in and out of it. Whenever I went in, I always had to keep my back to the wall, or kept looking backwards... just in case there was a monster lurking in the corner of the room, waiting to bite my ass.


The upstairs landing. Upstairs is where most of the bedrooms are. Six of them. The house is mostly made of wood. And cement. My cousins and I were always running up and down the wooden staircases making so much noise it drives our parents up the wall. But this is what CNY IS ALL ABOUT!


The dressing table of my parent's old room. When we came back to visit we always slept in my parent's old bedroom, that is, if we ever slept. Blasted neighbour's freaking firecrackers at midnight always keeping us up at night. I'm aware that this is a horribly taken picture. But I didn't give a fuck anymore as I was losing my patience and so was the cameragirl.


My grandparents' room. That bed is my late grandpa's. It's really very high. When I was wheeee tinier it was great fun climbing onto it. Apparently I didn't grow much, so it's still fun now.

Now that I'm older, balik kampung gets a little boring. There was simply nothing to do except eat goodies, do the visiting thing and watch old CNY special reruns. And that crazy CNY balik kampung heat is just crazy. But whenever we don't make a trip back... I kinda start missing the place. So many old, happy, childhood memories.

And I really miss my grandpa.



Shit. Nobody told me that this stupid getting old thing involves getting soppy nostalgic all the freaking time. Bleargh.

THE END! SHOO!

Balik Kampung - Episode 2

A shout out to all you Hokkien peeps, Happy Bai Tian Gong Festival! Fresh Roast pork FTW!

On with the program.

This post will feature a bit of the neighbourhood and grandpa's external compound.


This is the bakery on the left of my grandpa's house. It's been around forever. My dad apparently grew up with the smell baking pastries, breads and cakes everyday which put him off bread and cakes for the rest of his life. When I was younger I got to run around and play with the owner's children inside. I even get to flick off FRESH FROM THE OVEN goodies. Heaven should smell like this every Sunday.


Interior of the bakery. Shot with the camphone.


On the left of grandpa's house is the coffee shop. My late grandpa used to hang out here every time we balik kampung. It's damn old school. The classic marble tables with wooden legs. Spittoon bowls at the bottom. Glorious toasted thick white bread spread with generous heart attack inducing kaya butter. Glass bottled coke in a clear plastic bagful of gigantic ice chunks. The clickety clack sounds of the mahjong tiles in the illegal gambling den behind..... damn best!


The cement(?) chair just outside the house which has been there since.... forever.


The swing is easily one of my favourite places in grandpa's house.


This was a vegetable patch. Grandpa used to plant all sorts of stuff here. Beans, leafy veges and little chili trees. Now it's just lots of creepers and weed.


The backyard. Grandpa used to plant vegetables here too. That big cement drain is a new addition to backyard. Must be one of them government projects. I've never seen it before.


to be continued.....

Balik Kampung - Episode 1

Sudirman really did a great job with that song. It's on autoplay in my head everytime I or someone else mentions "balik kampung" (...woahhh balik kampung! hati girang!)

And how was your New Year celebrations?

Mine was pretty unproductive. Lazy. Hazy. Quiet. ODing on CNY "specials" and reruns on the local tv network.

I haven't balik kampung in YEARS, it's changed quite a bit. Don't know when I'll go back again.

So here's a three part pictorial record of the kampung my dad grew up in.... just something for me to remember it by.

...... and also an excuse for some major camwhoring - The Balik Kampung Edition.

I don't understand why when I resize them, the photos go blur. Can one of you geniuses please explain this stupid phenomenon. It's really getting on my nerves. WHYYYYYYY?!?~?!?~?~?!

With my very limited photo-editing skills using some obscure photo-editing software, I modified the tone of the pictures to give an old school nostalgic effect. I know it kinda sucks, but I don't really care what you think.

On with pictures!


Harro Batu Gajah (that's in Perak, yo) ! On the left is a Chinese sundry store, an Indian sundry store, and an Indian family house, and my granduncle's house respectively. On the right, it's the old school Chinese coffeeshop, grandpa's house... and the bakery. When I was younger firecracker residue from the first and second days of new year would cover the ENTIRE street making it look like it was paved in angpow red bricks. They don't do that anymore. :(


Here is me in the cement kitchen of grandpa's house, pretending to stir a potful of grub, in all my Chinese New Year Angpow Ahlian Red glory because I'm quite the sucker for keeping to Chinese New Year traditions. Camwhore.


The vegetarian grub for the First Day. Ingredients include brains of dog, liver of iguana, cartilage of a hobo, skin of monkey and a headful of baby hair. No lah, siau meh. Just boring stuff like several types of mushrooms, fu chok, fatt choi, black fungus, cabbage, lotus stalk, and tau pok. Tastes better than it looks. My brother loves this stuff. Once when he was much younger, he walloped about 5 full bowls of this shit straight. Then he got sick and puked from eating too much. Until this day, eating this still reminds him of puke, but he still whacks it anyway. Sick bastard.


This is what Chinese New Year reunions gatherings are all about! Unfortunately not everybody came home this year. There are seven children on my father's side. This year I only saw two of them while the rest are scattered around the globe. Noise is like the main element of a proper Cantonese family reunion, at least for this family. It was too quiet this year, not like I'm complaining too much, but the lack of noise somehow feels like a lack of the new year spirit. Oh well! Bring out the goodies! Makan!


to be continued....

P/s: ... and for the 172th time, I'm NOT from Ipoh.

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Nah.



Grab all the angpows while you still can!

Have a good one!

:)

Googe? Were You Wondering Too?

Did you Google yesterday?

Did you notice that something was missing with their new Valentine's Day Google logo?



I thought I'd write and tell them that they were missing a consonant.

They replied!

from help@google.com
to aphroditus(at)gmail.com
date Feb 15, 2007 5:26 AM
subject Re: [#113282799] Googe?
signed-by google.com
mailed-by trakken.google.com

Thank you for your feedback about our logo. As you may know, from time to time we modify the Google logo in honor of different holidays. In celebration of Valentine's Day, our logo shows a chocolate covered strawberry. The chocolate forms the letter "G" and the stem of the strawberry forms the letter "L."

We appreciate your taking the time to contact us about our Valentine's Day doodle, and we'll keep your feedback in mind for the future.

Regards,
The Google Team

LIES ALL LIES! Hehe.

That stem sure didn't look like an "L" to me. More like the tip of a "G". Don't you think?

There's even a short write up explaining the new logo design HERE.

Too lazy to click? Nah:

Strawberries are red, stems are green...
2/14/2007 09:51:00 AM
Posted by Dennis Hwang, Google Doodler

You may have noticed today's Google Doodle on our homepage in celebration of romance and good food (something we consider extremely important).

When you look at the logo, you may worry that we forgot our name overnight, skipped a letter, or have decided that "Googe" has a better ring to it. None of the above. I just know that those with true romance and poetry in their soul will see the subtlety immediately. And if you're feeling grouchy today, may I suggest eating a strawberry.

A very happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

Sure or not?

I'd prefer it if he had said something like "we took L out of it because L is the first letter of Love and Valentine's day is clearly NOT a day of love (at least, not anymore) but a blatant blood-sucking soul-reaping over-hyped marketing gimmick, brainchild of the Let's Just Rape The Spirit of Every Holiday and Festival By Making People Buy Over Priced Things Other People Don't Fucking Need But Think That They Do Because Everybody Else Is Getting Them Too Association."

But Dennis sounds ~KiUt~! Hmmm. Must find out who this fella is.

An excerpt from Wikipedia:

".....Dennis Hwang, or Hwang Jung-mok is a graphic artist who designs the festive logos for Google on special days....

....Born in Knoxville, Tennessee, he moved to Korea when he was about five years old....

....His doodles during these years were frowned upon, but are now his source of income and pleasure....

...His actual position was as Google's international webmaster, which made him responsible for all of their international content and kept him quite busy...

Oooohhh. Theres even a mugshot of him! Me likey. Wanna take home ! Have tea and scones while we sit around the verandah making idle conversation about the weather. _Koff_

I freaking love how Google actually take the time to change the logo for every major celebration. I hope they come up with something for Chinese New Year!

Oh and by the way, from Urban Dictionary,

Googe is a sexual act originating in the Amazon rainforest. It is where the man wraps his legs around a womans face and googe's like a bad badger. It is now used as an exclamation of hornyness or used as a term instead of fuck, or also can be used as an expression deep hatred. Eg, I fucking want to googe ya mam

LMAOROF!!11one. I wonder if the people at Google knew this. The dirty bastards.

Google and it's "I'm Feeling Lucky" button has got to be one of the best-EST thing that's evAr happened to the internet.

Read up some trivia on the I'm Feeling Lucky button on Wikipedia right HERE, again, because Wikipedia is my best friend.

I heart Google very much! It's so damn kiut!!!111~~

^_^ V

(P/s: Please mind the retardancy level and the excessive KAWAII-NESS of this post. It makes me feel dirty too, but for some reason beyond even my own comprehension, I completely LOST it after seeing that yummylicious chocolate strawberry on The Googe.)

Happy Overpriced Everything Day.

While smittened and panicking boyfriends everywhere are fervently rushing around like headless chickens and breaking into cold sweat from imagining the horrors that would be unleashed upon them should they dare NOT to get their significant others anything ("no honey it's really okay I don't care about Valentine's Day... oh look at that time my mom's waiting I've got a headache kthxbaiFOREVER"), thus forcing them to withdraw their life's savings, steal someone's baby, sell a kidney, maim little animals for cash; JUST to buy something, OMG ANYTHING wrapped in some ugly tacky plastic wrapping complete with frills, laces and pink ribbons for their loved ones to commemorate a day where normal everyday goodies are priced a trillion times more than usual just to get laid (or whatever stupid "romantic" jargon boys use these days); candymakers, giftmakers, cardmakers and eating establishment owners are laughing themselves all the way to the bank.

Suckers.

Make a difference this Valentine's Day.

Fuck it and spend it IN.

Watch some sappy romantic movie courtesy of Uncle Ho and stuff your faces with Mcdonald's home delivered sundaes.

Stay HOME for fuck sakes.

Besides, it's Heroes day, man. And nothing is worth missing Heroes for. NOTHING, I tell you.

Me? Bitter? Noooooooooooooooo..............

(okay single people, the coast is clear. I think they took the bait. Let's hit out, have a good dinner then catch Babel. But only after Heroes, k? :P )

A Little Bit of This. A Little Bit of That.

Cass, a personal friend has sent me an email from a friend who needs help.

From: Lee, Tuck Yuen (MY - Kuala Lumpur)
Subject: Requesting for Blood Donation for my Dad's Surgery

Dear Friends,

I wish to seek for your kindness to help us look for blood donors for my Dad who will be undergoing a multiple bypass heart surgery on March 1, 2007 (Thursday). The surgery requires fresh blood and the surgeon has requested for at least 10 people of similar blood group (A+) to donate on the day of his surgery. We know that this is not a common blood group and we appreciate it with all our heart if you can assist us.

Below is the information required by the blood donor: -

1. Blood group required : A+
2. Name of Hospital : Subang Jaya Medical Centre (New Wing), 5th Floor (Blood Bank)
3. Opening Hours: 8.30 am - 5.30 pm (Monday to Friday) (Operates during lunch hours)
: 8.30 am - 12.30 pm (Saturday)
4. Patient's Name : Lee Chiew
5. Date of Surgery : March 1, 2007

Set out below are the procedures for the blood donation;

1. The Donor has to be healthy;
2. The potential donor is required to go to the above hospital any day before the surgery date to have his / her blood screened. Should the potential donor do not know his / her blood group, the hospital will conduct the test;
3. If the potential donor can only attend the screening test on the weekend,
he / she will need to give one day prior notice to the hospital.

SJMC (Blood Bank) contact no. : 03-56306575
Contact person : Ms Siva

4. After having passed the screening test, the Donor will need to come to the hospital again on the Surgery date (9.00 am) for the donation.
5. Please be informed that the hospital will issue time-off medical certificates for both the screening and donation days.

Please feel free to contact any of us should you have questions on the above. Karina (012-3930993), Kevin (012-2998769) or Adrian (012-2317912).

My family and I wish to thank you for your help and generosity.

Regards,
Kevin Lee

Do the good thing for the year. Go give up some of that blood.

I would if I could but unfortunately, I am a B.

********************************************

Hi completely random stranger named Wan Lee of Feathered Friends. I received your email about that gig for yesterday but wasn't in time to blog about it. But I hope Suanie posted it up on time.

Note: Most of the time however, I don't layan stranger requests for this help or that help or whatever. What the hell am I? A free soup kitchen? I'm not generous to strangers. In fact, I'm not very generous. Full stop.

********************************************

This is from Suanie too. It's an American fellow urging people to boycott American things because America is EVIL.

Come to think of it America makes NOTHING but television programmes. Everything THEY use and consume are made in third world countries anyway.

I will play my part by not watching Lost. Lost has always been stupid to me. And CSI Miami. Which sucks donkey balls. I'd like to wipe that "I KNOW EVERYTHING" smirk on Horatio's face by slamming it against a chainsaw.

But Heroes, I can not stop watching. I am so sorry. The flesh is weak. AndHiro Nakamura is the best thing EVER.

Read about the appeal HERE and perhaps you might be strong enough to actually DO something about it.

********************************************

I know Mac comes from America and that I just posted an appeal about boycotting their products and etc but OMG I FUCKING WANT THE NEW IPOD SHUFFLE.

Mac has a bunch of psycho GENIUSES in their marketing and promotions department. There hasn't been a single ad by Mac I haven't liked. Simple and effective.

And just to show how much I appreciate and FUCKING enjoy the INSANE amount of creativity that just OOZE out of their ads, I'd like to support their cause by owning ONE Mac item, which will be the incredibly SO CUTE CAN DIE clip on Shuffle.

THe Shuffle is so fucking tiny. So fucking cute. And so tiny. And so cute and OMG I WANT ONE. JUST BECAUSE it's so goddamn tiny and cute and can LITERALLY PUT IN POCKET.

I'd like the shocking pink one. Or the orange one. Not too picky.

But for RM399, maybe I'll wait for a little while longer.

Meanwhile, here is my moral support, Mac. Save us all by producing more ass kicking ads PLEASE.

*******************************************

The PC still undergoing construction.
Should be up and running in no time.
Spongfox has been fucking AMAZING. You are great.
Once it's all fixed you fuckers can start shaking and pissing in your pants as I will ONCE AGAIN taint the interweb with ugly pictures of myself and haunt you in your sleep.

BWAHAHAHAHAHHA.

END!

LEARN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.

Look here you neandarthalic buffoons!

When a girl is PMS-ing it does NOT mean that she is fucking bleeding already OKAY.

DID YOU NOT FREAKING LISTEN TO YOUR FORM THREE SUB TEACHER WHEN SHE WAS TEACHING IN FRONT OF THE CLASS OR WERE YOU TOO BUSY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO STARE AT HER CLEAVAGE FROM HER LOW CUT TOP WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT?

Let me break it down for you now bitches!

P = PRE = earlier than. prior to. before. in advance = NOT YET.

M = MENSTRUAL = relating to menstruation. pertaining menses = BLEED. BLOOD.

S = SYNDROME = a group of symptoms = DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS?

Most common Pre Menstrual Symptoms include:
* Weight gain from premenstrual water retention
* Abdominal bloating
* Breast tenderness
* Stress or anxiety
* Depression
* Crying spells
* Mood swings, irritability or anger
* Appetite changes and food cravings
* Trouble falling asleep (insomnia)
* Joint or muscle pain
* Headache
* Fatigue (medical)
* Acne
* Trouble concentrating
* Wanting to be alone
* Body temperature increase
* Worsening of existing skin disorders, and respiratory (eg, allergies, infection) or eye eg, visual disturbances, conjunctivitis) problems

Have been experiencing 13 of the above syndromes since last night OMGCANDIE!

Do NOT have patience now to explain any further.

Wikipedia is your best friend ---> click!

Argh I can feel an aneurysm forming in my JUGULAR.

Must. Resist. Biting. Heads.

Must. Not. Let. Stupid. Idiots. Piss. Me. O....

ARGHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

HULKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!11111111one

*EATS A BABY. KICKS A FAWN. TEARS A CHILD'S HANDMADE CARD INTO PIECES. SETS FIRE ONTO LAVENDER FIELDS. CHOPS 250 YEAR OLD TREE DOWN. EATS A PANDA. CRUSHES HEADS OF SQUIRRELS. DEMOLISHES A HERITAGE BUILDING. STOMPS ON THE PARLIMENT. EATS SIX MORE ENDANGERED ANIMALS!*

RIP

Have found reason as to why computer not working.

Hard disk died already.

Means a lot of camwhoring pictures died with it.

Means no camwhoring posts for awhile until I get me a new hard disk.

Means no point updating.

Means I'm DAMN PISSED LAH KNNBCCBTLPKHKC!!!!!!!!!!!

Whee.

Sigh.

Here And There.

My brother went to China and he all he got for me was 3 bottles of Hoegaarden.

From the Singapore airport.

For an amazing price of SGD7.

(Bugger so cheap, he should've gotten more lah that stingy poker.)

You rock anyway!

Yum.

*******************

Death Note 2 rocks.

First AWESOME movie of the year.

Those chicks were so hot until I wanna explode out of envy.

That candy eating feral kid kicks ass.

Apperently Death Note 1 was too gay for a lot of you guys.

DN2 more than makes up for it though.

A lot of fan service going on.

If you're a guy I suggest wearing dark colours BAGGY slacks.


******************

Heroes rock too hard.

Can't wait for the rest!

So impatient was I that I've already READ the entire season's recap.

Crazy.

Hiro is incredibly lovable!

YATTAAAAAAAAA!

*******************

Computer at home died.

How to update with camwhoring pictures now ar?

Got volunteers? I buy you coffee! :)

******************

It's FRIDAY OMG!

NO WORK TOMORROW!

REJOICE REJOICE!

TAKE ME OUT DANCING!!!!!

My legs very itchy liau. :(

******************

Lainie type posts rock!

Kthxbai.